Monday, January 31, 2005

So What's The Big Deal?

What's the matter with this prom dress that some young lady is supposedly wearing this year to prom? What's the difference between this and any other cleavage showing top or dress? It is all a matter of degree. I mean, if you are going to show a little cleavage anyway, you really are no better than a girl who wears this. Is there some unwritten rule that showing less than 25% of your breast is okay, but more makes you a skank? I don't think it works that way. Intelligent, moral girls and women do not show any of their breast in public. Period.

Everyone should have known this was coming. Once the breast started making its appearance in this culture, it had to get to this point. So if you are offended by this, you should have spoke up a long time ago. The problem is, this is not going to end here. I fear the next "cutting edge" prom dress will just be a G-string and pasties. And then the nipple will make it's public appearance. It's going to happen. God help us.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Do Their Rackets Give Out?

When I was watching the tennis match last night between Serena and Maria, I got to thinking. No, not about why I was watching tennis in the first place. About why women do not play a best of 5 set match like the men. Think of how many more games of tennis this would add up to over a period of months to years that the men are playing than the women. If anything, it should be the other way around. Women's tennis is much more interesting to watch than men's, so the men should play a best of 3 sets and get off the court. Let the women play a best of 5 sets match. And why don't other women athletes wear uniforms like women tennis players? You know, short skirts and dresses for women's softball, women's volleyball, women's golf, women's basketball, women's soccer, women's track and field. It would bring a touch of class to women's sports and might get more viewers.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005


The date line confuses me too!

The Two Sides Of A Brady

When I read this, my opinion of Tom Brady went up. He had a 103 degree fever the day before the Steeler game. I don't know about you but when I have a 103 degree fever, I sure am not going to work. And he was out in the cold no less. That is dedication. And yet...

When I read this, my opinion of Tom Brady went down. Brady filed a 2 million dollar lawsuit against GM for using his "likeness" in some ads. Get over yourself already. One of the keys to the Patriots is, no mistakes and no outside distractions. I can't believe he is doing this, let alone doing it now.

All's I know is, Mike Brady would never approve.

This Date Line Thing Is Blowing My Mind

HELP!
Tonight (1/26/05) on ESPN are the women's semifinal tennis matches in the Australian Open. But is it really on tonight, because in Australia, they are actually playing tomorrow (1/27/05). So when I watch this tonight am I really watching something taking place tomorrow? Am I looking in to the future? Or is it actually taking place today, even though the date of the match is tomorrow (1/27/05)? But how could the match be on 1/27/05 if it's really 1/26/05 when I am watching? If they are playing tomorrow, how is it I am going to watch it tonight? And if they are actually playing today, then how come in Australia it is already tomorrow, which is plainly not today? How can all this be? I don't think it can be. I'm so confused...somebody help me.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005


This guy is AWOL. What ever happened to him? Did he retire? Where'd he go? Haven't seen him for ages. Anyone have a clue?

Who'd Want Moss? Well, Who Else?

Think long and hard. What NFL team would want to have this talented goofball who has worn out his welcome in Minnesota? Think. It's a natural fit. Well, it is, of course, the Raiders. In fact, it's not just a natural fit, it's a perfect fit. Although the Vikings are denying it, I think Sir Randy will be playing for some other team next year, and Oakland would be the ideal place for a man of his, shall we say, reputation. Al Davis is probably sniffing around already.

I'm inspired. Here's a little Raiders/Moss haiku:

In Raider Nation
Two "Moons" Seen Over The Bay
He'll Fit In Perfect

White Folks Must Read

LCMS Pastor McCain has two excellent posts about MLK, race, and the reaction of white Christians to him and to blacks in general. What he states is so true, and yet there are those who would disagree with him. I find this incredible. Anyone who realizes the sinful, dark, and utterly depraved nature of humans could not dispute what is said in these two fine posts. In fact, I am convicted of my own sin, and ask for God's forgiveness. May he lead me in repentance, and may I receive his forgiveness in faith.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Too Much Information

What makes this news worthy? I could have lived the rest of my life without the visual that now exists in my mind, destined to persist in my memory.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Would You Make Up Your Minds Already?

I listen to a lot of sports talk radio. Last week the so-called experts were talking about how the Colts were going to run wild on New England, that the Pats' secondary was a mess and couldn't stop that potent offense. So wrong. Now this week, a lot of the discussion centered around whether this New England team was the greatest in NFL history. Again, I'm no football expert. But I ask the question, how can a team look so beatable, even ripe to be picked (per the Idiot Kicker), and the next week morph in to the greatest team in the 80 some year history of the league? Beatable seven days ago, unbeatable now? And we're supposed to take any of this seriously (like we should take football seriously anyway)? The one thing I hate about sports right now is the hype, hype, hype, and no accountability for statements. No one remembers from one week to the next what ludicrous statements are made. These people try to be so bold with their commentary to one up the next guy, but they lose any credibility when they are so often shown to be non-expert in their touted field of expertise.

As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.(Proverbs 26:11). I can't wait to hear these people next week if Pittsburgh wins Sunday. No wait, I can wait to hear them. "Greatest upset of all time, and I saw it coming", will probably be the mantra. Be prepared to laugh out loud.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

And Now For Something Important

I am a Lutheran catholic. I believe the Bible and the confessions of the Lutheran Church as expounded upon in the Book of Concord. I am a former member of the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod. I say former because my local church voted to leave this church body this fall (after a disastrous synodical convention in July 2004) for a number of reasons, including the formation of a new papacy, tolerance of false teaching, and tolerance of syncretism. We are instructed in the Bible to have nothing to do with such people, so we voted overwhelmingly to leave.
Romans 16: 17, "I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them."
II John 10-11, "If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take him into your house or welcome him. Anyone who welcomes him shares in his wicked work."
II Thess. 3:6 , "In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching you received from us."
I Cor. 5 :6- 7 , "Your boasting is not good. Don't you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast - as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed."
Titus 3: 1 0, "Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him."
There are more passages, but these are succinct and sufficient.


But I still love my confessional, catholic brothers and sisters in the LCMS who have chosen to stay for now. I fear they will continue to be greatly displeased and disappointed, just as our church was, for the "yeast" has now taken hold, and I fear will not let go. I hope I am wrong. God willing, He will show his boundless grace and mercy to the LCMS.

As I have said, I still consider those in the LCMS who fight for the Word, Sacraments, and doctrine of the true church my brothers and sisters. And the website of Pastor McCain at worldmagblog is "awesome, baby", as my buddy Dickie V. would say.

Since the beginning of the year he has been posting on what Christianity is, has begun reviewing the ten commandments as explained in Luther's Small Catechism, posted on Epiphany and the Baptism of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the confession of Peter.


Spend time at his site. I am no theologian, but he is, and it is well worth your time.

Rut Roh

Some headlines make your heart flutter a little. This one sure did. I heard on KMOX last night that this story was blown up out of proportion. But why look on the bright side, when I have the option of feeling gloom and despair about Pujols foot this year?

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

NFL Runway, Part Zwei

The AFC Central is up today. Fasten the seatbelts, and resist the urge to hurl.

Cincinnati Bengals.
Helmet Design: Seizure, anyone? I'll give this monstrosity this- it is easily identifiable as to which team you are watching. I'd sure hate to play for this team. It only gets worse from here. The funny thing is, when this first came out in the early 80s, I kind of liked it. That's because it looked okay with a plain brown jersey with white pants. So I won't give it -2. But as this whole outfit has trended more and more toward the psychotic, it looks as ugly as brown snow.
Score: -1.

Color Scheme: Orange, dark brown, and white. Could look good. But when there is too much orange, it makes one want to turn away.
Score: -1.

Jersey: Three varieties here, all with shoulder pad numbers I don't care for. Home brown with orange stripes on the sleeves and around the white numbers, with white stripes on the sides. We then get a basic white number with orange sleeves and brown stripes, and brown numbers with an orange border. And to top it all off, a nice orange gagger with brown sleeve stripes and white numbers. This is perhaps the cruelest practical joke to have been played in the history of pro football. And the city of Cincinnati has not figured it out yet. Your uniform designer is from CLEVELAND, folks. And he's laughing all the way to the bank.
Score: -1 for brown, -1 for white, -2 for orange, for an average of -1.3.






Leg and Footwear: This is getting very monotonous. Ugh. Two varieties here. An unattractive white with brown and orange tiger stripes, or brown with even worse orange stripes. Brown socks aren't bad, but long orange ones? Straight out of Pippi Longstockings closet.
Score: -1 and -2, for average of -1.5.


Overall Effect: Nausea, vertigo, fainting, seizures, blurred vision, and GI distress. The very definition of Gollum ugly.
Score: -2.

Historic Factor: Bengals never have had a purty uni. But come on, it wasn't this ugly. -1 for the regression. I don't think one can argue that this is ugliness of historic proportions, so I have to give it another -1 for effort.
Score: -2

Summary:
HD: -1
CS: -1
J: -1.3
LW: -1.5
OE: -2
HF: -2

TOTAL BENGALS SCORE: -8.8


Cleveland Browns.
Helmet Design: Simple. I like it. I even like the stripes, which only work when the design is simplistic. I even like the white face mask. The only thing keeping it from a +2 is that it is, after all, orange.
Score: +1

Color Scheme: Brown, orange, and white. Just about every combination of the three is represented, kind of like the 1970s Oakland A's. Which is a shame.
Score: 0.





Jersey: The brown with white numbers and white and orange stripes is a nice design. Ditto the white with brown numbers and orange/brown stripes. I even like the white shoulder pad numbers on this brown one. But what possesses teams to do this:


Hello, this team's name is THE BROWNS, not the Oranges.
Score: 1 for brown, 1 for white, -1 for orange (could have been -2, but they only wore this orange thing once thankfully). Average is 0.33.

Leg Wear: White pants with the orange and brown stripe dominates. But again, why ruin the uniform with orange pants? Love the brown socks though.
Score: 1 for white, -2 for orange, and 1 for the socks. Average: 0.


Overall Effect: Too bad there is so much mixing and matching, because this could really be a good looking ensemble. Cut out the orange pants and the orange jersey, and this coulda been a contender. But alas we sometimes have to look at this:


Score: +1 for brown j with white p, +1 for white j with white p, 0 for white j with orange p, -1 for brown j with orange p, and -2 for orange j with white p. (Sorry about the abbreviations, p sounds a little crude in the wrong hands). Average is -0.2.

Historic Factor: Little change over the years is worth a score of +1.

Summary:
HD: +1
CS: 0
J: +0.33
LW: 0
OE: -0.2
HF: +1

TOTAL BROWNS SCORE: +2.13




Baltimore Ravens.
Helmet Design: Black as the basic color is good. A little gold is good also. Add a little purple to this, okay, enough already. Add in a little white, and I have to ask what is going on here? Too many colors together, even though they all individually would be good. I think that someone could not make up their mind here what they wanted to go for. Maybe too many cooks in the kitchen. So it ends up sort of a mess. (And I haven't even got to that orange-red color I see in this bird's eye). I like the look of the bird on the helmet, but does he really need a B branded in to his temporal lobe? And is that a stripe I see? I think it is but who can tell? Lose it, please, and some of the colors, and we would have a winner here.
Score: 0.

Color Scheme: I'm not exactly sure what it is. Seriously. I think it's purple, white, black, and gold. (Although maybe it's black, purple, white, and gold; or maybe it's purple, gold, black, and white; or maybe it's black, gold, purple, and white; oops, I forgot that orange-red color; so let me start again...). I've thought about this, and 4 colors is too many, three is enough. So which one has to go? Black, I think. The black trend in uniforms is over (I hope). So again, the score does not live up to its potential.
Score: 0.


Jersey: Nice purple home version and nice white away type. Semi-mod number style is not bad, but the 3D effect on the white rendition induces some diplopia. The patch on the sleeve is supposed to be something, but you can't tell what it is without an extreme close-up, therefore, what good is it? Not a fan of the shoulder pad numbers, as I now mention for the nth time. But it's agreeable with my stomach, which is still recovering from Cincinnati.
Score: +1.



Leg Wear: I like the white shoes, and white with purple socks, but again what is with all the black? The black stripes on the socks on the away version, and the black socks on the home version, it's just a little too much. A nice solid purple stripe without the black border would be better. I like the gold B on the hip, which is where this belongs, not on the helmet.
Score: +1 for away, 0 for home, average 0.5.

Overall Effect: This uniform could be so cool. So why isn't it? Because someone is trying to be a little too fancy. Simplify, and this would be the sharpest outfit in this division and a contender for best in conference.
Score: 0.

Historic Factor: Not much history to this franchise, but this version is better than the original, particularly the helmet. So a +1 for you, Ravens.
Score: +1.

Summary:
HD: 0
CS: 0
J: +1
LW: +0.5
OE: 0
HF: +1

TOTAL RAVENS SCORE: +2.5.


Pittsburgh Steelers.
Helmet Design: Basic black. So far so good. Simple design, also good. Yellow stripe, not good, but not bad. I'm just not sure why it is there. It is not necessary. Love the circular decal with the steel symbol. And genius to have it on the right side only. This makes the helmet unique in all of football. You wouldn't call this beautful, but it is definitely pleasing to the eye.
Score: +1.

Color Scheme: Black and yellow, with some white. I think black and gold would look better, less bumble-bee-esque. But black and yellow is consistent with the rest of the city's sports teams, and therefore no points can be deducted for this.
Score: 0.



Jersey: Home black with yellow sleeves and white numbers, and sleeve stripes bordered by black. Numbers are a bit modern looking, and I don't like the shoulder pad numbers. The white away jersey with black numbers is even easier on the eyes. Thumbs up.
Score: +1.


Leg Wear: Simple pants, yellow with a black stripe, home or away. Black socks are a plus.
Score: +1.

Overall Effect: A nice, tidy, simple uniform that looks good in home or away versions. And thankfully no hideous all black or all yellow disasters.
Score: +1.

Historic Factor: +1 for there being little tampering over the years. I mean really, what could you do to improve this? (Except maybe changing the yellow to gold, a la the Rams a few years ago? But then you lose the tradition).
Score: +1.

Summary:
HD: +1
CS: 0
J: +1
LW: +1
OE: +1
HF: +1


TOTAL STEELERS SCORE: +5.


The Answer- Tort Reform

The question- what is Scotticus Pippenicus? Or, let the lawyer beware. I'm interested to know how many of these types of cases are filed each year in proportion to the number of lawyers there are in this country. I mean, we all know (wink) that the trial lawyers are defenders of the down trodden and protectors against evil corporations, hospitals, doctors, employers, and drivers. So, since we need protection against these devils, who is protecting us from the lawyers? I'm sure it is not them. Seriously, does anyone know the ratio of cases claiming legal malpractice to the number of lawyers in the US? I would be willing to wager this number is much less than the same ratio in any other profession or business. So I guess only lawyers are perfect, don't make mistakes worthy of lawsuits, and are of course the only professionals we can trust. (I hope no one is reading this and taking that previous statement without all the intended sarcasm).

So, tonight, drink a beer and toast Scottie Pippen. And may others be so bold as to sue their lawyers this year.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Indianapolis Is In Trouble

When questioned after yesterday's loss and whether the Colts are in fact capable of beating the Patriots, coach Tony Dungy stated "no question". Huh? Wrong answer. How could you not have questions? Your team has lost 4 straight to that team. You weren't any closer to beating them this year than last. You'd better have a question. You aren't going to get any better if you don't realize like the rest of the world that your team is not in New England's league. When everyone else sees this and the coach doesn't, trouble is going to ensue. Sounds like he doesn't think his team still needs to get a lot better to challenge New England. It does.

And how about Peyton Manning. Watching him yesterday, he looked a lot like Eli (see earlier posts about Eli on this blog). What I mean is, the way Eli communicates with his body language. Peyton Manning looked defeated in the second quarter yesterday. He was sitting on the sidelines with head down, slumped over. Nothing like inspiring the team to victory. You don't have to be a rah-rah type of leader, but at least look like you believe you have a chance. Maybe there is something about their makeup that makes it look like these two brothers quit when they get down. I try to like Peyton, but maybe "idiot kicker" Dork Vander Smack was right with his comments two years ago.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Music Drives Fan Closer To Insanity's Border

I sure do hope the Super Bowl is on any network but CBS. The annoying brass playing incessantly during games and in going to and returning from commercials is driving me crazy. STOP IT! if you will please. Oh, the noise in my head is making me dizzy...I've...got...to...go...now.

Friday, January 14, 2005

NFL Experts Pick Colts, But Primate Picks Pats...Film At 11

I am not a football expert and don't claim to be. But I am pretty good at picking winners. I don't get how almost everyone is counting out the Patriots this weekend against the Colts. This New England team has won 2 of the last 3 Super Bowls. They don't lose playoff home games. The playing field is a mess. It's cold. Bill Bellichick is the best football coach practicing at present. The Colts have an eight game losing streak in Foxboro. Peyton Manning has never won "the big game". Tony Dungy has never won "the big game". Peyton Manning looked unbeatable going in to the AFC championship last year too, and got blasted. And the Colts have an idiot kicker. These are my reasons for picking New England. All I hear anyone say to defend their pick of Indianapolis are two words: Peyton Manning. I'm sorry, as good as he is, you have got to have more than one reason to pick a team. How much more does this New England team have to do to get some respect? Kind of reminds me of how I think the 2005 St. Louis Cardinals will not be getting any love during this season, because everyone will be back on the Cubs bandwagon.

The winner is...New England. I'm not saying that I'd be shocked if Indianapolis wins, but I just can't pick them against their nemesis until they prove they can overcome.

Rome Burned, Is Burning, And Will Burn More

February 14, 2005, 3:30 p.m. CST. Jim Rome will be on ESPN daily. Good news to me.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

...And Dumberer

We are having quite a competition this week for most idiotic statement or action. Punch this Vikings owner dude's ticket for the moron train. RM's act was disgusting, and thanks to Joe Buck for calling it what it was. And thanks to Fox Sports for having his back.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Dumb And Dumber

1- Dumb. Apparently, Randy Johnson has been a little overwhelmed, giving him an excuse to mistreat a cameraman. At his press conference yesterday, he said something to the effect that he isn't used to having all this attention and he didn't know how to handle it. Wow. He must be the only guy on the planet who would not have known what he was getting in to by being traded to the Yankees. I mean, I never got near to playing professional baseball, but I know if you go to play for the Yankees, you are going to get a lot of attention, more than anywhere else on the planet. So RJ is either a moron, or he's lying and using the "I'm overwhelmed" excuse to avoid responsibility for being obnoxious.

2- Dumber. Heeee's baaaack. Dork Vander Smack. I have nothing more to add to this moron's story. It speaks for itself. And this weekend, go Patriots.


Idiot kicker, meet idiot pitcher. Idiot pitcher, meet idiot kicker.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Thank God He Can Play Football

Every chance I get, I try to listen to Jim Rome's radio program. It is an entertaining 3 hours. Unfortunately, I don't always get to hear the whole program cause of a little thing called work. I know, I shouldn't make such a big deal about working, but when I can't hear the whole program, I like to read the wrap ups on his website. I guess I'm too cheap to pay for Streamlink if I don't absolutely have to do it.

This is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. This is off of Rome's website from 1/10/05. Classic.

Redskins Safety Sean Taylor had his DUI charge dismissed late last week in Virginia. The judge, Mitchell Mutnick, kicked the case after he watched a video tape of Taylor performing various field sobriety tests. Judge Mutnick said, “I’ve seen a whole lot worse. I don’t think the evidence was sufficient.” That’s your reasoning, you’ve seen worse? Nice judge! Taylor performed most of the tasks given to him well, with one exception…reciting the alphabet. He seemed to have a little trouble with the letters j, m, and n. You heard me right! He missed the letters j, m and n. His lawyer Warren McClain says that isn’t a big deal. “The alphabet test, to me, is kind of confusing. I don’t think anyone has asked Mr. Taylor to say the alphabet since the fourth grade.” I’m sorry, what did you just say? Did you just try and tell me that the alphabet was ‘confusing’? I’m pretty sure that’s what you said…I just wanted to make sure. How in the world is the alphabet confusing. It isn’t like they change the answers all the time. It isn’t like there is a trick to reciting the alphabet. The letters have been in the same order for quite some time now. The alphabet is confusing. Good thing they didn’t ask him to do something really confusing like read. Look, I know that these guys aren’t all Rhodes Scholars. I know that these guys aren’t settling in with the great classics of literature when they have some down time around the house. I don’t expect them to be able to do the New York Times crossword puzzle in ink, but I don’t think that it is too much to ask that they actually recite the alphabet without missing 3 letters.

Friday, January 07, 2005

My Favorite Ass

The latest great infomercial? Hee Haw on DVD. I saw this while channel surfing last night. Loved that donkey and the dancing pigs and chickens. This show was hilarious. People who didn't like it just didn't get it. Kind of like the poor schmo who is always left out of the joke when everyone else is laughing hysterically. Where, where are you tonight? BR 549. And what was up with those two dudes who slapped their bodies and squeezed their hands together to make some kind of primitive music, while uttering goofy, unintelligible screeching sounds...eeeeee, aaaaa, eeee, aaaa? I crack up just thinking about it.

Go Birdwatch Cardinals

Best Cardinals Website? Go Cardinals has morphed in to The Birdwatch. Even though this started only one week ago, I can already see the Void of Redbird Nation is about to be filled. I just hope they will be careful that good writing is not replaced by a bunch of geeky stat factoids, which will get tiresome to read for us average primates. In other words, don't ruin the game by making it boring. Use stats to support an interesting take, but don't write a post around tedious stats. Good, entertaining writing made Redbird Nation what it was.

So, blessings to The Birdwatch band. I'll be watching.

This Is One Great Idea

Where were these people in Detroit a few weeks back? This is the answer to the sports fan vs. player dilemma. Keep a line of taser wielding security around the perimeter of the playing field. You got a fan trying to get on the field/court? Zap! You got a player going in to the stands? Zap! You got a nut throwing beer or batteries? Zap! You got nuts attacking old coaches? Zap! I see no downside to this. None. There is no excuse for any stadium/arena not running with this idea.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

What's In A Name?

You can't say it and chew gum at the same time. It's the new name of the former Anaheim Angels. Arte Moreno, the owner of the team, wanted the change. What's the big deal? It's his team, he can call it what he wants. It sure beats some of the other names he was considering. Here are the runners up in the re-naming:
The Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles.

The California Angels of Anaheim and Los Angeles.
Arte's Angels of Anaheim Which Is In Proximity to Los Angeles.
The Mighty Angels of Anaheim Which Is Also Where The Mighty Ducks Play.
The Celestial Beings of Southern California, Home of the Back to Back National Champion Trojans.
Los Angeles de Los Angeles de Anaheim.
The Angels of the City of Angels Via Anaheim.
The Angels From Anaheim Which Is Geographically Not Far From Los Angeles.
The Los Angeles Angels In Orange County.
The Anaheim Angels: 36 Miles From Los Angeles As The Crow Flies.
The Los Angeles Angels of 33:50:20N Latitude and 117:52:20W Longitude.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

I Guess I'll Take Oklahoma

So the oj is going to Miami to root for USC. I was not going to be rooting for anyone, but now I feel obligated. Go Sooners.

Can you imagine having tickets to the game, being so excited about getting to see the championship of college football, and getting to the stadium and seeing old oj sitting in the seat next to yours? And you're wearing an Oklahoma jersey. It'd kinda ruin the experience for me.

oj: Hi, who ya rootin' for?
Me: Trojans. Big Trojan fan. Go Trojans. Please don't hurt me.
oj: Why're ya wearin' the Oklahoma jersey then?
Me: I, uh,...errrrr...I...lost a bet. Yeah, that's it. Go Trojans. Please don't decapitate me.
oj: Kind of cold here tonight, isn't it? My hands are freezin'. I think I'll put on my gloves.
Me: Um, I just remembered I forgot my glasses. Later, dude.
oj: (yelling as I'm running out): Wait, maybe someone will get them and return them to you. Hey, maybe we can go out after the game? I know some places where we can practice our golf swings.
Me (yelling back): What's that? Can't hear you, you know, crowd is too loud. Please don't hunt me down and slaughter me. See ya.

So watch for oj tonight. He'll be easy to spot. Just look for a man in the middle of a bunch of empty seats.

And I guess oj isn't the only USC fan. Other noted Southern California rooters:
Scott Peterson.
Charles Manson.
That Polly Klaas murderer.
Robert Blake.
Michael Jackson.
Phil Spector.

Saturday, January 01, 2005


Another idea of Holy Father Jerry (LCMS)- a soul thermometer to measure whether a person's heart is set Ablaze! by one's witness. Guess it's not working with this guy.

For all you LCMS brothers, here's Pope Jerry's latest scheme: Produce and sell William Hung's Worship and Praise CD and DVD, "My Voice Is Ablaze!"