Tuesday, January 04, 2005

I Guess I'll Take Oklahoma

So the oj is going to Miami to root for USC. I was not going to be rooting for anyone, but now I feel obligated. Go Sooners.

Can you imagine having tickets to the game, being so excited about getting to see the championship of college football, and getting to the stadium and seeing old oj sitting in the seat next to yours? And you're wearing an Oklahoma jersey. It'd kinda ruin the experience for me.

oj: Hi, who ya rootin' for?
Me: Trojans. Big Trojan fan. Go Trojans. Please don't hurt me.
oj: Why're ya wearin' the Oklahoma jersey then?
Me: I, uh,...errrrr...I...lost a bet. Yeah, that's it. Go Trojans. Please don't decapitate me.
oj: Kind of cold here tonight, isn't it? My hands are freezin'. I think I'll put on my gloves.
Me: Um, I just remembered I forgot my glasses. Later, dude.
oj: (yelling as I'm running out): Wait, maybe someone will get them and return them to you. Hey, maybe we can go out after the game? I know some places where we can practice our golf swings.
Me (yelling back): What's that? Can't hear you, you know, crowd is too loud. Please don't hunt me down and slaughter me. See ya.

So watch for oj tonight. He'll be easy to spot. Just look for a man in the middle of a bunch of empty seats.

And I guess oj isn't the only USC fan. Other noted Southern California rooters:
Scott Peterson.
Charles Manson.
That Polly Klaas murderer.
Robert Blake.
Michael Jackson.
Phil Spector.

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