Friday, July 15, 2005

I Had A Weird Experience With Levitra Last Night

Just let me say right off the bat that it's not what you think. Really. No, really. I mean it.

Let me explain. Last night I went to a dinner meeting sponsored by a pharmaceutical company that was supposed to be about...well, you know. The company is Glaxo Smith Kline.


I am from a mostly "white" town. I still am. There have been a number of minority groups moving to the area in recent years, from Asians, to Mexicans, to Middle Easterners, just like everywhere else I guess, except I always believed there were far fewer in my neck of the woods. Which there probably are. But last night as I walked in the room, for the first time in my life I am in the minority. Besides the speaker and a couple of pharm. reps, I'm the only white guy there. White chicks, black guys, black chicks, Asian guys, Indian guys, Middle Eastern guys were all there. Why I noticed this I do not know. But I did. I didn't feel uncomfortable, but I did feel different. So, am I a bigot?

And the women outnumbered the men. I don't know why, but I felt very uncomfortable about that. I guess it was having the topic, erectile dysfunction, discussed in mixed company that I found a little disturbing. And of course, the jokes are flowing as freely as cheap cologne at a cat house. Very unprofessional. But none of the jokes were from those who looked "Middle Eastern", they were all from American women and the most Americanized of the immigrants. It really disgusted me. Our culture is spiraling out of control. I felt like a fish out of water when I walked in, but after the discussions started in with the nonsense, I really felt different. So, am I a prude?

The crowning glory to this weirdness for me was the stupid Levitra pen that was proudly given to all of us. I am not kidding about this, but some "genius" thought it would great fun to make a Levitra pen that performed in a similar way to the drug. I am not sure how to put this in a delicate way. The pen comes folded up, but by pressing a button, it unfolds, erecting itself into a full size pen right before your eyes. Cute, huh? Not really.

Just where am I supposed to use this pen, oh Levitra-marketing madman? If you think I'm going to pull this suggestive pen out to sign the attendance card at church, you're out of your cotton-pickin' mind. I'd probably be ex-communicated.

And I can't use it at work. I don't want a lawsuit on my hands.

But everything was not bad. I did get a good meal. And there was one humorous story about some dude who saw the Levitra commercial with the guy throwing the football through the tire. Evidently he called his doctor the next day asking for that pill "that makes you throw the football better". Some people don't abstract well.


Anyway, I'm going straight home tonight. I think I'll feel better.

1 comment:

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