Thursday, August 18, 2005

Obesity Solved!


We live in a fast paced society. To skim some more time out of the day, we usually cut corners with things like lunch or breakfast. In fact, I bet a good number of you all eat in your cars. Or trucks.

Several truck drivers and others who travel on their jobs and eat on the run tell me they often get fast food so that they can continue on down the road and eat. I mean, who can eat a salad while navigating around curves and through lane changes? And so they eat high calorie fast food which compounds their weight problem when done in the setting of their inactivity. So, what to do?

Well, I put my mind to work, and I've figured it out. No thanks necessary, folks.

The answer?

Liquid salad.


That's right. Salad you can drink as you ease on down the road. I am putting my idea out there so that some chemist somewhere can begin to work on the project of the century. I only ask that I get a cut of the profits, a "finder's fee", if you will.

But that's not all. You see, when you go through the drive through and order your liquid salad, it won't come in a lightweight piece of plastic. No, that's counter-productive.

Liquid salad containers will be made of concrete. That way, you'll have to do a hefty biceps curl just to get it up to your mouth. So more calories will be burned just by "eating" the liquid salad.

Sometimes I amaze myself. Life can be so simple, folks. You're welcome.

4 comments:

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Scottius Maximus said...

You're welcome. Thank you for the compliments.

That's a good, although completely unsolicited and off topic, point. And I noticed the use of the word "liquidation" in this comment. Word gets around fast on this "inner net thang" doesn't it? Salad liquidation has the same potential. I see $$$$$$$.

TKls2myhrt said...

I can't believe you got that spam to this post. Too funny! I'm sorry, but liquid salad sounds very gross. Have you ever discovered rotting lettuce in the refrigerator and noticed the liquid? That's all I can think when I think of liquid salad.
My baseball news is that we visited Wrigley and US Cellular this past week. Very interesting contrasts. We saw the Sox v. Twins, Sox v. Yankees and Cubs v. Braves. All good games and nice stadiums, but the Cubs remain our favorites in Chicago.

Scottius Maximus said...

Oooh, rotting lettuce! I forgot about rotting lettuce. Dang! That could undo this whole thing.

"My baseball news is that we visited Wrigley and US Cellular this past week. Very interesting contrasts."

Yes indeed. And not just the stadium contrast. The quality of play, I hope you noticed, also contrasts, what with the Cubs playing. (Sorry, I couldn't resist).

But this begs the question- on a baseball vacation, why not St. Lou? Just follow the river until you come to an arch thingy.