Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Another Recurring "Nightmare"


Last year I posted about recurring dreams I keep having, one involving a phone. Not really nightmares, but frustrating dreams. But there is an even scarier thought I keep having that is worse than these. That involves my cell phone.

My business partner and I have Nextel phones. One of my recurring daytime dreams is that I will leave it on during church. Not because it might accidentally ring during church. While that might be a little annoying and slightly embarrassing, it would not cause any long term distress.

You see, these are the Walkie-Talkie phones. Meaning if I accidentally leave it on, my partner might, unknowingly mind you, attempt to contact me during church. And while he is a great guy, his language is sometimes...how should I put this? Not church-appropriate would be a good description. And the volume of his voice only has medium and high settings.

I can just see this picture in my mind of the entire congregation, kneeling in confession before the Lord, when suddenly, my Walkie-Talkie beeps. Before I can grab it and turn it off, a few nuclear bomb words are set off in the sanctuary, echoing two, maybe three, times before falling silent against my dumbfounded face. Is it possible to be white as a sheet and beet red simultaneously?



It would go down something like this:
"[Very Loudly] Hey, Mark, you there? You're not going to believe what just ----ing happened to me. Call me, if you can hear me on this piece of ----."

At that point, I'm praying for the ground to please swallow me up like it did those people in Numbers.

Lord, please keep it from happening in the first place.

7 comments:

  1. Very recently, my husband's phone started to ring in the middle of a quiet time in church. What ring does he have? Why, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" of course. What else would a baseball coach have? I consider it my mission to make sure all four of our phones are on silent, but that day I missed his.

    You should talk to the Nextel office and see what they suggest. Also, you could call the Dream Doctor (a late night radio show).

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  2. "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" is not so bad. Now, AC/DC's "Highway To Hell" would be.

    Is Dream Doctor like Art Bell's Coast to Coast?

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  3. Two other songs that you really wouldn't want to hear at a church service would be the Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil" or Van Halen's "Running With the Devil."

    One of my friends' phone went off one time at a Wednesday service and it sounded like the Chuck Berry song "Roll Over Beethoven."

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  4. Yes,I could see this happening!! :)

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  5. Thanks, Lucy. That's soothing for my fears.

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  6. I would never actually recommend the Dream Doctor. At first, I had a problem with him, but after listening for a while I think he's pretty harmless. I don't actually listen often, but he's on at a time when I'm getting ready to retire for the night and might be listening to the radio. He's nationally syndicated and is easy to find with Google.

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