Thursday, June 01, 2006
Hi, I'm Sid Vicious, And After Reading This I Bet You'll Let Me Date Your Daughter
"Why, you ask? Because I'm a [bleep]ing conservative [bleep]. Now, outta my way before I [bleep]ing cut your [bleep]ing throat.
Dr. Vieth's Cranach blog has posted a link to some dude at National Review who thinks some rock 'n' roll songs espouse "conservative values." So he has compiled a list of the 50 top "conservative" rock songs.
I hope everyone else thinks this is as ludicrous as I do. You could probably take any song and pull out a lyric or two and state the song is proposing a conservative viewpoint. I bet whatever conservative message is in these songs is entirely unintended by almost all of these artists. Except maybe Lynyrd Skynyrd. And rather than conservative, I'd say the songs listed have more of a libertarian slant.
If this is what American conservatism has come to, if it has to claim these people and their message as its own, then I'd say it's either very sick or even dying.
That's not to say we can't enjoy and critique the list. That's always fun.
Here it is. I've boldened the titles of the songs I own, and italicized songs I've never heard of:
1. “Won’t Get Fooled Again,” by The Who- An all time classic, I don't think it gets as much airplay as it should due to its length.
2. “Taxman,” by The Beatles- Fetching lyrics with a memorable guitar riff, this is my favorite George Harrison penned tune.
3. “Sympathy for the Devil,” by The Rolling Stones- The catchiest Rolling Stones tune ever, a lot of people are afraid of it because of the title. But its message is true.
4. “Sweet Home Alabama,” by Lynyrd Skynyrd- Yeah, I was the only one in my kindergarten who rooted for George Wallace in the 1968 presidential election. But these guys loved him too.
5. “Wouldn’t It Be Nice,” by The Beach Boys- Back in the '60s we knew what they meant. Nowadays could be sung to apply to any two adults, be they male or female.
6. “Gloria,” by U2.
7. “Revolution,” by The Beatles- Yeah, uh huh. Because that John Lennon was in Nixon's back pocket, you know.
8. “Bodies,” by The Sex Pistols.
9. “Don’t Tread on Me,” by Metallica.
10. “20th Century Man,” by The Kinks.
11. “The Trees,” by Rush.
12. “Neighborhood Bully,” by Bob Dylan.
13. “My City Was Gone,” by The Pretenders- Better known as Rush Limbaugh's theme song. Otherwise this song can't possibly make the list. This whole list is a farce, right?
14. “Right Here, Right Now,” by Jesus Jones.
15. “I Fought the Law,” by The Crickets.
16. “Get Over It,” by The Eagles- I just love this song. And almost every day I run in to someone I want to play it for.
17. “Stay Together for the Kids,” by Blink 182.
18. “Cult of Personality,” by Living Colour.
19. “Kicks,” by Paul Revere and the Raiders.
20. “Rock the Casbah,” by The Clash- Should be played soon on Iran Free Radio.
21. “Heroes,” by David Bowie.
22. “Red Barchetta,” by Rush- Makes you want to drive one. In fact, I often do drive one. In the Play Station game Gran Turismo.
23. “Brick,” by Ben Folds Five.
24. “Der Kommissar,” by After the Fire.
25. “The Battle of Evermore,” by Led Zeppelin- One big allegory of Lord Of The Rings.
26. “Capitalism,” by Oingo Boingo.
27. “Obvious Song,” by Joe Jackson.
28. “Janie’s Got a Gun,” by Aerosmith.
29. “Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” by Iron Maiden.
30. “You Can’t Be Too Strong,” by Graham Parker.
31. “Small Town,” by John Mellencamp- Great anthem to small town living. But conservative? There are liberals and conservative in small towns. It just depends on which town.
32. “Keep Your Hands to Yourself,” by The Georgia Satellites- You kiddin'? I always looked at from the point of view of the dude in the song.
33. “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” by The Rolling Stones.
34. “Godzilla,” by Blue öyster Cult.
35. “Who’ll Stop the Rain,” by Creedence Clearwater Revival.
36. “Government Cheese,” by The Rainmakers.
37. “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down,” by The Band- Huh?
38. “I Can’t Drive 55,” by Sammy Hagar- One of my all time favorites. Should get more airplay than it does around my parts. It's old enough to qualify for an oldies station. It's over 20 years old.
39. “Property Line,” by The Marshall Tucker Band.
40. “Wake Up Little Susie,” by The Everly Brothers.
41. “The Icicle Melts,” by The Cranberries.
42. “Everybody’s a Victim,” by The Proclaimers.
43. “Wonderful,” by Everclear.
44. “Two Sisters,” by The Kinks.
45. “Taxman, Mr. Thief,” by Cheap Trick.
46. “Wind of Change,” by The Scorpions.
47. “One,” by Creed- I always thought there might be a more subversive message of unionism and syncretism rather than civil rights.
48. “Why Don’t You Get a Job,” by The Offspring.
49. “Abortion,” by Kid Rock.
50. “Stand By Your Man,” by Tammy Wynette- Not even a rock song. The perfect ending to drive home the ludiocrisy of this list.