Thursday, June 28, 2007

Is This Talladega Memorial? St. Daytona?

In the city I live in, within the past month, speed bumps were put in on a certain street. I guess to slow people down, right?

Ordinarily I wouldn't care. I'd just go around them by using another street. Only I pretty much have to use this street everyday.

Now don't laugh when I tell you where the speed bumps have been placed. Ready?

The street that now has speed bumps is a street where one accesses the emergency room to one of the hospitals in town.

Yes, if there's one place where traffic must slow to a snail's pace, it's the drive in to the hospital. I mean, it's not like there would be any legitimate reason to go a little faster on this road than any other road in town, is there?

People are speeding on roads all over this town and no one seems to care. People come barreling in to Walmart all the time. No one seems to care about that. The mall? Just gun it, baby. But God forbid anyone be in a little bit of a hurry to get to the ER. No, THAT behavior is gonna stop!

What about ambulances? They go screaming down every other street in town. They even go through red lights at times. Well, by golly, they're not going to pull that crap in front of the hospital. They're just going to have to creep along at 1 mph that final 500 feet.

How'd you like to be a passenger in the back of that ambulance?

Bleeding? Choking? Busted up from a car accident? Having a heart attack or asthma attack? Don't worry about that. Worry about that jostling you're going to have in the back of that ambulance when you hit the bumps. That ought to feel great. And don't worry about the falling equipment and instruments raining down around you. Hopefully no one is trying to start an IV or intubate someone.

Nice job.

2 comments:

Barb the Evil Genius said...

You should send this to your local paper's letter to the editor. Pretty much the way you have it here.

Scottius Maximus said...

Barb!

I would, but our paper won't print letters from apes.

It doesn't matter anyway. Our paper is in the hospital's back pocket. They wouldn't come within 100 miles of printing anything remotely negative, even though the skeletons in that closet are eye-high.