Friday, June 29, 2007

Know What I Hate?

American car doors. Their spring-like action is so tight, unless you open the door to a precise location, the door will spring backward or forward to a factory predetermined spot. Sure, they open easily for the very weak, but God forbid you get in their way. They'll run you down.

For instance, let's say you need to get something out of the back seat. Your car is parked in your garage next to another car, so you carefully open the door so as not to bang the other car. Just as you are moving into position to lean in to the back seat, the door will suddenly lunge into the margin of your lower rib cage, busting you with its most sharp steely edge. I can't tell you how many of my spleens I have ruptured in this futile exercise in my lifetime.

On the other hand, if you go past a certain point, the edge of the door will suddenly fly out, right into your innocent bystander car that is sharing the garage.

This is ridiculous. I've never had a Japanese car do this. A Japanese car door opens very smoothly and doesn't suddenly jump to a preset destination.

It's just a sign of the times. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone, but American automobile engineers must be cut in the cloth of Julius Kelp compared to their Japanese masters. Don't even get me started on the differentials in engine mechanics.

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