Thursday, February 24, 2005

Steve Irwin, Law-breaker

Being the dreadful sinner I am, I have often read the Old Testament Mosaic laws and wondered to myself, why did God have to be so specific about everything? I mean, He had laws for practically every contingency in which a man could find himself. I've thought to my degenerate self, wouldn't it have been better to keep it simple, not make things too complicated, and have only a few laws to follow? Who would even think to do some of the things forbidden in His law? And then...

I remember this incident from last year, and I see now that Australians are enacting laws against dangling a baby in front of hungry crocodiles. So I once again understand why God had to spell everything out in such detail. Humans are so debased they can't even be trusted to not suspend their young in the vicinity of ravenous reptiles. They must spell it out on paper. Another fine moment in human history.

But while they were at it, the Australians forgot about outlawing:
Baby skydiving.
Class 5 rapids white water rafting with Junior.
Day-Cares at nuclear reactors.
Family swims with the Orcas at Sea World.
Toddler trapeze.
Infant spelunking.
"Children's Day" on Mt. Everest's summit.
Volcano Vacation Bible School.
Python-wearing at preschool "Casual Fridays".
"Electricity Day" at beaches.
Typhoon-season "Thriller Cruises".

Okay, so maybe I exaggerated a little. But not much. Humans are such freaks. I'm glad God is gracious.

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