Saturday, December 29, 2007
Too bad Buffalo tanked against the Giants last week. With the Giants having nothing to play for, tonight's hyped-up game should be a laugher.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
- I did get a few good presents. "The AC/DC Bible Study Guide" should be a good aid for next year's reading. That Angus has some brilliant theological insights in between his 3 chord guitar riffs.
- Although I didn't get their "Ice Road Truckers" series, I did get The History Channel's video series- "The Rise Of Mouthwash: Breath Quality Of Human Civilizations The Past 4500 Years."
- Thankfully, I received a traditional golden wheel of government cheese.
- I received new traveling coffee cup. The only weird thing is that instead of a small hole to drink out of it has a nipple.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
I've often in years past picked on Christmas songs. From completely absurd songs to Elton's songs with garbled words, there's a treasure trove of comedy bits waiting to happen.
Which brings us to this year's "winner". It's an oldie. A catchy tune covered by Mr. Christmas himself, Andy Williams. (Mr. Christmas to anyone who grew up in the '60s and '70s, when all the big celebrities had Christmas specials. Why don't they ever rerun those old shows? Sorry, I'm digressing).
Look out for "It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year."
The other day, for the first time in my life, I really listened to the lyrics of this song. I've often found myself humming or belting out the chorus. Who hasn't? But when I really listened to the lyrics, I was quite shocked at what was hidden in there.
"It's the most wonderful time of the year
With the kids jingle belling
And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer"
It's the most wonderful time of the year"
Okay, so far so good. Although I've never seen a kid 'jingle-belling', it's a nice poetic holiday sentiment.
By the way, don't you hate it when a lower case j and lower case i are next to each other? Looks too umlaut-ish. Let's proceed.
"It's the hap-happiest season of all
With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings
When friends come to call
It's the hap- happiest season of all."
Yeah, okay, right there. For all time and forever more, you cannot use the word 'gay' in a song. The writer didn't intend for the modern meaning of the word, but any song with it in there is going to get snickers from the peanut gallery.
Okay, that's enough! Shuuussshhh!
Not that there's anything wrong with it.
"There'll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for toasting
And caroling out in the snow."
Now, that's good clean indoor and outdoor fun. This is okay.
"There'll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago"
This is the one line in the whole song that blows me away. Our writer seems to have some holiday dementia.
Ghost stories are a Halloween tradition, Einstein. Unless you're Count Floyd of Monster Chiller Horror Theater.
"Vow, kids...vasn’t it SCARY"
Although we have some family holiday traditions that others might not, sitting around telling scary ghost stories is not one of them.
I can't imagine who does this. Let's see if I've got this straight...just before opening gifts, we all sit around our happy Christmas tree, in the dark, and regale ourselves with horrible tales of ax-murdering spirits and men with hook-hands?
Did Stephen King have a hand in this song? I have yet to see one of my neighbors put up a fake cemetery next to the inflatable Santa Claus on his lawn.
And what exactly are "Christmas glories"? Maybe Batman, or Superman, can tell tales of their glory days on Christmas. But what am I supposed to do? Tell the tale of how I assembled a talking basketball hoop in a single Christmas Eve night, despite all the directions being in Chinese? 'Cause that's about all you're going to get.
There'll be much mistltoeing
And hearts will be glowing
When loved ones are near
It's the most wonderful time of the year."
Now, to have these lines right after the ghost verses, I'm having a hard time figuring out what we're referring to here. Are these loved ones dead or alive? Are these glowing super-ghosts with flaming hearts?
That's it, then. Now the song just repeat itself.
So, who is going to be the one to correct the mistakes of the original songwriter? We need volunteers.
Don't expect me to do it. I can't do everything.
That's it. We're done. Admit it...around August, you didn't think we'd make it through, did you?
Now, since we finished 9 days early, we need something to do for the next week. So how about this? Since we'll have free time from not having a reading assignment these next 9 days, let's just re-read everything we have already read this year.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Very rarely during the year do I ever hear that name, save at Christmas. Probably because of "Holly Jolly Christmas", which the man made famous. And because he is the voice of the snowman in "Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer." I haven't seen that in so long I can't remember if he sings this in the show or not.
Anyway, yesterday on my favorite morning radio show, Mike & Mike in the Morning, Mike Greenberg and someone else were talking about Burl.
Why there aren't more people in this world named Burl I don't know. It's a great name. I mean, for a guy, not a lady, of course.
Think about it. No matter your last name, Burl goes with it. And no matter what, you sound like either a world class athlete or a rugged individualist patriot.
Burl Van Dyke.
But wait a minute. There's something I didn't think of- I may be wrong.
Yep, no doubt about it. There's an exception to every rule.
And that is- what if you're French?
I think being named Burl de Lafite would still get your butt kicked in grade school.
What Kind of Drink Are You?
|You are a Pint of Beer. You're happy with who you are. Sure, you may not be the 'sophisticated' and 'refined' type, but at least you're real. You don't let the little things get to you, and you have a good time no matter what life throws at you. Keep it up.|
|Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com|
Thanks to Barb.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
"Roger Clemens, through his attorney, has vehemently denied ever taking performance enhancing drugs. You’re going to have to do better than that, Rocket. I don’t want to hear it from your attorney, I want to hear it from you…and I’ll say now, what I said about Barry Bonds when “Game of Shadows” dropped. If I was one of the sport’s greatest players ever, and someone fingered me as a cheater, calling into question everything I had ever accomplished, and it wasn’t true, I’d be looking to riot. I’d be screaming from the rooftops that it was a lie, and I’d be looking to sue anyone that had anything to do with the assertion.
I’d sue the guy who said it, Brian McNamee, I’d sue the guy who put it in the report, George Mitchell and I’d sue the lumberjack that knocked down the trees that put that lie on paper. I’d sue Al Gore for inventing the internet where you can read the report. That’s one of the biggest problems I have with Bonds…if he thinks “Game of Shadows” is a book of lies, why doesn’t he say so? Never tested positive does not mean never used drugs.
Clemens’ attorney tried to discredit McNamee yesterday, and maybe he did lie. But why would he? He was told that not telling the truth could result in criminal charges. Bad enough he had to rat out his star client, but do you really think he would lie in order to do it? Doubtful! But if I did, and my entire legacy was on the line, I’d be looking to start a war. Ball’s in your court, Rocket."
Tough go this time of year. Some teams will just mail it in, waiting for next season already.
San Francisco. Won.
Jets. (Sorry, just kidding. I'm picking New England).
Saturday, December 15, 2007
"Well, he gol' darn gone and done it!"
No turning back now.
The Answer: Because he wants us all to remember him when he's gone.
The Question: Why did new Cardinals GM John Mozeliak get rid of Jim Edmonds and David Eckstein, arguably the two most popular players on the team, this off season?
Don't worry John, we'll remember you now. For good or for bad.
Because you'll either go down as the most brilliant GM in history...or flame out under even the likes of the terrible John Claiborne in the pre-Whitey late-70s era of forgettable baseball.
Can you say "hot seat"?
Let's see...he still has the disgruntled and oft-injured Scott Rolen, but Edmonds and Eckstein are expendable? I really can't believe he won't be far behind these two on the St. Louis exit rail.
I sure hope he has more up his sleeve this offseason than that signing of Cesar Izturis. Because this team is now definitely "his" team.
You gotta hand it to him, it will definitely be a blaze of something when he's gone- either glory or infamy.
Friday, December 14, 2007
There's lots of these homemade videos on YouTube, but this one is the best.
If I'm innocent, and my name is on this list, I'm on TV giving a press conference today (if not last night) declaring my innocence and taking every question reporters can throw at me, because I have nothing to hide. I want it known that this is a crock of [your favorite expletive]. Then I'm taking lie detectors in front of the whole world.
Then again, if there is even a shred of truth to my name being on the list...I'm sending out my lawyers, union reps and agents to speak for me.
But that's just me.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
I thought Billy Barty must have fired his remains into outer space or something.
I must get my brain more sleep. Or more caffeine.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Saturday, December 08, 2007
How could you not love winter, just for these reasons?
But the most weird reason to like winter is the sound it makes. It's eerily quiet outside, especially during and after snow.
No doubt about it. Winter has its own distinct sound. Hear it?
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
A lot of people may laugh, and it was voted one of the worst songs ever, but I love this song.
I used to listen to it on the radio while driving 3 hours back and for to school on Friday nights and Sunday evenings. It was heavily played. It was at the height of its popularity then, a number 1 song in its day.
But now it seems to get no love. Partly because the group who sang it sort of renounced it as a "sell-out" song to make money. But its a good song.
Look at the playlist. You'll have to click down the list of songs, because so far I can't get it to fit in the sidebar better.
It is, of course, "We Built This City".
There are a couple other songs from this era on the list. There are several more that I'd like to add but aren't part of it.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Miami. I'm afraid our hopes of a "dream season" will end today.
Cleveland. My new lead pipe lock pick!