Monday, January 31, 2005
Everyone should have known this was coming. Once the breast started making its appearance in this culture, it had to get to this point. So if you are offended by this, you should have spoke up a long time ago. The problem is, this is not going to end here. I fear the next "cutting edge" prom dress will just be a G-string and pasties. And then the nipple will make it's public appearance. It's going to happen. God help us.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
When I read this, my opinion of Tom Brady went down. Brady filed a 2 million dollar lawsuit against GM for using his "likeness" in some ads. Get over yourself already. One of the keys to the Patriots is, no mistakes and no outside distractions. I can't believe he is doing this, let alone doing it now.
All's I know is, Mike Brady would never approve.
Tonight (1/26/05) on ESPN are the women's semifinal tennis matches in the Australian Open. But is it really on tonight, because in Australia, they are actually playing tomorrow (1/27/05). So when I watch this tonight am I really watching something taking place tomorrow? Am I looking in to the future? Or is it actually taking place today, even though the date of the match is tomorrow (1/27/05)? But how could the match be on 1/27/05 if it's really 1/26/05 when I am watching? If they are playing tomorrow, how is it I am going to watch it tonight? And if they are actually playing today, then how come in Australia it is already tomorrow, which is plainly not today? How can all this be? I don't think it can be. I'm so confused...somebody help me.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
I'm inspired. Here's a little Raiders/Moss haiku:
In Raider Nation
Two "Moons" Seen Over The Bay
He'll Fit In Perfect
Monday, January 24, 2005
Saturday, January 22, 2005
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.(Proverbs 26:11). I can't wait to hear these people next week if Pittsburgh wins Sunday. No wait, I can wait to hear them. "Greatest upset of all time, and I saw it coming", will probably be the mantra. Be prepared to laugh out loud.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Romans 16: 17, "I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them."
II John 10-11, "If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take him into your house or welcome him. Anyone who welcomes him shares in his wicked work."
II Thess. 3:6 , "In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching you received from us."
I Cor. 5 :6- 7 , "Your boasting is not good. Don't you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast - as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed."
Titus 3: 1 0, "Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him."
There are more passages, but these are succinct and sufficient.
But I still love my confessional, catholic brothers and sisters in the LCMS who have chosen to stay for now. I fear they will continue to be greatly displeased and disappointed, just as our church was, for the "yeast" has now taken hold, and I fear will not let go. I hope I am wrong. God willing, He will show his boundless grace and mercy to the LCMS.
As I have said, I still consider those in the LCMS who fight for the Word, Sacraments, and doctrine of the true church my brothers and sisters. And the website of Pastor McCain at worldmagblog is "awesome, baby", as my buddy Dickie V. would say.
Since the beginning of the year he has been posting on what Christianity is, has begun reviewing the ten commandments as explained in Luther's Small Catechism, posted on Epiphany and the Baptism of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the confession of Peter.
Spend time at his site. I am no theologian, but he is, and it is well worth your time.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Helmet Design: Seizure, anyone? I'll give this monstrosity this- it is easily identifiable as to which team you are watching. I'd sure hate to play for this team. It only gets worse from here. The funny thing is, when this first came out in the early 80s, I kind of liked it. That's because it looked okay with a plain brown jersey with white pants. So I won't give it -2. But as this whole outfit has trended more and more toward the psychotic, it looks as ugly as brown snow.
Color Scheme: Orange, dark brown, and white. Could look good. But when there is too much orange, it makes one want to turn away.
Jersey: Three varieties here, all with shoulder pad numbers I don't care for. Home brown with orange stripes on the sleeves and around the white numbers, with white stripes on the sides. We then get a basic white number with orange sleeves and brown stripes, and brown numbers with an orange border. And to top it all off, a nice orange gagger with brown sleeve stripes and white numbers. This is perhaps the cruelest practical joke to have been played in the history of pro football. And the city of Cincinnati has not figured it out yet. Your uniform designer is from CLEVELAND, folks. And he's laughing all the way to the bank.
Score: -1 for brown, -1 for white, -2 for orange, for an average of -1.3.
Leg and Footwear: This is getting very monotonous. Ugh. Two varieties here. An unattractive white with brown and orange tiger stripes, or brown with even worse orange stripes. Brown socks aren't bad, but long orange ones? Straight out of Pippi Longstockings closet.
Score: -1 and -2, for average of -1.5.
Overall Effect: Nausea, vertigo, fainting, seizures, blurred vision, and GI distress. The very definition of Gollum ugly.
Historic Factor: Bengals never have had a purty uni. But come on, it wasn't this ugly. -1 for the regression. I don't think one can argue that this is ugliness of historic proportions, so I have to give it another -1 for effort.
TOTAL BENGALS SCORE: -8.8
Helmet Design: Simple. I like it. I even like the stripes, which only work when the design is simplistic. I even like the white face mask. The only thing keeping it from a +2 is that it is, after all, orange.
Color Scheme: Brown, orange, and white. Just about every combination of the three is represented, kind of like the 1970s Oakland A's. Which is a shame.
Jersey: The brown with white numbers and white and orange stripes is a nice design. Ditto the white with brown numbers and orange/brown stripes. I even like the white shoulder pad numbers on this brown one. But what possesses teams to do this:
Hello, this team's name is THE BROWNS, not the Oranges.
Score: 1 for brown, 1 for white, -1 for orange (could have been -2, but they only wore this orange thing once thankfully). Average is 0.33.
Leg Wear: White pants with the orange and brown stripe dominates. But again, why ruin the uniform with orange pants? Love the brown socks though.
Score: 1 for white, -2 for orange, and 1 for the socks. Average: 0.
Overall Effect: Too bad there is so much mixing and matching, because this could really be a good looking ensemble. Cut out the orange pants and the orange jersey, and this coulda been a contender. But alas we sometimes have to look at this:
Score: +1 for brown j with white p, +1 for white j with white p, 0 for white j with orange p, -1 for brown j with orange p, and -2 for orange j with white p. (Sorry about the abbreviations, p sounds a little crude in the wrong hands). Average is -0.2.
Historic Factor: Little change over the years is worth a score of +1.
TOTAL BROWNS SCORE: +2.13
Helmet Design: Black as the basic color is good. A little gold is good also. Add a little purple to this, okay, enough already. Add in a little white, and I have to ask what is going on here? Too many colors together, even though they all individually would be good. I think that someone could not make up their mind here what they wanted to go for. Maybe too many cooks in the kitchen. So it ends up sort of a mess. (And I haven't even got to that orange-red color I see in this bird's eye). I like the look of the bird on the helmet, but does he really need a B branded in to his temporal lobe? And is that a stripe I see? I think it is but who can tell? Lose it, please, and some of the colors, and we would have a winner here.
Color Scheme: I'm not exactly sure what it is. Seriously. I think it's purple, white, black, and gold. (Although maybe it's black, purple, white, and gold; or maybe it's purple, gold, black, and white; or maybe it's black, gold, purple, and white; oops, I forgot that orange-red color; so let me start again...). I've thought about this, and 4 colors is too many, three is enough. So which one has to go? Black, I think. The black trend in uniforms is over (I hope). So again, the score does not live up to its potential.
Jersey: Nice purple home version and nice white away type. Semi-mod number style is not bad, but the 3D effect on the white rendition induces some diplopia. The patch on the sleeve is supposed to be something, but you can't tell what it is without an extreme close-up, therefore, what good is it? Not a fan of the shoulder pad numbers, as I now mention for the nth time. But it's agreeable with my stomach, which is still recovering from Cincinnati.
Leg Wear: I like the white shoes, and white with purple socks, but again what is with all the black? The black stripes on the socks on the away version, and the black socks on the home version, it's just a little too much. A nice solid purple stripe without the black border would be better. I like the gold B on the hip, which is where this belongs, not on the helmet.
Score: +1 for away, 0 for home, average 0.5.
Overall Effect: This uniform could be so cool. So why isn't it? Because someone is trying to be a little too fancy. Simplify, and this would be the sharpest outfit in this division and a contender for best in conference.
Historic Factor: Not much history to this franchise, but this version is better than the original, particularly the helmet. So a +1 for you, Ravens.
TOTAL RAVENS SCORE: +2.5.
Helmet Design: Basic black. So far so good. Simple design, also good. Yellow stripe, not good, but not bad. I'm just not sure why it is there. It is not necessary. Love the circular decal with the steel symbol. And genius to have it on the right side only. This makes the helmet unique in all of football. You wouldn't call this beautful, but it is definitely pleasing to the eye.
Color Scheme: Black and yellow, with some white. I think black and gold would look better, less bumble-bee-esque. But black and yellow is consistent with the rest of the city's sports teams, and therefore no points can be deducted for this.
Jersey: Home black with yellow sleeves and white numbers, and sleeve stripes bordered by black. Numbers are a bit modern looking, and I don't like the shoulder pad numbers. The white away jersey with black numbers is even easier on the eyes. Thumbs up.
Leg Wear: Simple pants, yellow with a black stripe, home or away. Black socks are a plus.
Overall Effect: A nice, tidy, simple uniform that looks good in home or away versions. And thankfully no hideous all black or all yellow disasters.
Historic Factor: +1 for there being little tampering over the years. I mean really, what could you do to improve this? (Except maybe changing the yellow to gold, a la the Rams a few years ago? But then you lose the tradition).
TOTAL STEELERS SCORE: +5.
So, tonight, drink a beer and toast Scottie Pippen. And may others be so bold as to sue their lawyers this year.
Monday, January 17, 2005
And how about Peyton Manning. Watching him yesterday, he looked a lot like Eli (see earlier posts about Eli on this blog). What I mean is, the way Eli communicates with his body language. Peyton Manning looked defeated in the second quarter yesterday. He was sitting on the sidelines with head down, slumped over. Nothing like inspiring the team to victory. You don't have to be a rah-rah type of leader, but at least look like you believe you have a chance. Maybe there is something about their makeup that makes it look like these two brothers quit when they get down. I try to like Peyton, but maybe "idiot kicker" Dork Vander Smack was right with his comments two years ago.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Friday, January 14, 2005
The winner is...New England. I'm not saying that I'd be shocked if Indianapolis wins, but I just can't pick them against their nemesis until they prove they can overcome.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
2- Dumber. Heeee's baaaack. Dork Vander Smack. I have nothing more to add to this moron's story. It speaks for itself. And this weekend, go Patriots.
Idiot kicker, meet idiot pitcher. Idiot pitcher, meet idiot kicker.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
This is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. This is off of Rome's website from 1/10/05. Classic.
Redskins Safety Sean Taylor had his DUI charge dismissed late last week in Virginia. The judge, Mitchell Mutnick, kicked the case after he watched a video tape of Taylor performing various field sobriety tests. Judge Mutnick said, “I’ve seen a whole lot worse. I don’t think the evidence was sufficient.” That’s your reasoning, you’ve seen worse? Nice judge! Taylor performed most of the tasks given to him well, with one exception…reciting the alphabet. He seemed to have a little trouble with the letters j, m, and n. You heard me right! He missed the letters j, m and n. His lawyer Warren McClain says that isn’t a big deal. “The alphabet test, to me, is kind of confusing. I don’t think anyone has asked Mr. Taylor to say the alphabet since the fourth grade.” I’m sorry, what did you just say? Did you just try and tell me that the alphabet was ‘confusing’? I’m pretty sure that’s what you said…I just wanted to make sure. How in the world is the alphabet confusing. It isn’t like they change the answers all the time. It isn’t like there is a trick to reciting the alphabet. The letters have been in the same order for quite some time now. The alphabet is confusing. Good thing they didn’t ask him to do something really confusing like read. Look, I know that these guys aren’t all Rhodes Scholars. I know that these guys aren’t settling in with the great classics of literature when they have some down time around the house. I don’t expect them to be able to do the New York Times crossword puzzle in ink, but I don’t think that it is too much to ask that they actually recite the alphabet without missing 3 letters.
Friday, January 07, 2005
So, blessings to The Birdwatch band. I'll be watching.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
The Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles.
The California Angels of Anaheim and Los Angeles.
Arte's Angels of Anaheim Which Is In Proximity to Los Angeles.
The Mighty Angels of Anaheim Which Is Also Where The Mighty Ducks Play.
The Celestial Beings of Southern California, Home of the Back to Back National Champion Trojans.
Los Angeles de Los Angeles de Anaheim.
The Angels of the City of Angels Via Anaheim.
The Angels From Anaheim Which Is Geographically Not Far From Los Angeles.
The Los Angeles Angels In Orange County.
The Anaheim Angels: 36 Miles From Los Angeles As The Crow Flies.
The Los Angeles Angels of 33:50:20N Latitude and 117:52:20W Longitude.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Can you imagine having tickets to the game, being so excited about getting to see the championship of college football, and getting to the stadium and seeing old oj sitting in the seat next to yours? And you're wearing an Oklahoma jersey. It'd kinda ruin the experience for me.
oj: Hi, who ya rootin' for?
Me: Trojans. Big Trojan fan. Go Trojans. Please don't hurt me.
oj: Why're ya wearin' the Oklahoma jersey then?
Me: I, uh,...errrrr...I...lost a bet. Yeah, that's it. Go Trojans. Please don't decapitate me.
oj: Kind of cold here tonight, isn't it? My hands are freezin'. I think I'll put on my gloves.
Me: Um, I just remembered I forgot my glasses. Later, dude.
oj: (yelling as I'm running out): Wait, maybe someone will get them and return them to you. Hey, maybe we can go out after the game? I know some places where we can practice our golf swings.
Me (yelling back): What's that? Can't hear you, you know, crowd is too loud. Please don't hunt me down and slaughter me. See ya.
So watch for oj tonight. He'll be easy to spot. Just look for a man in the middle of a bunch of empty seats.
And I guess oj isn't the only USC fan. Other noted Southern California rooters:
That Polly Klaas murderer.