YOU HAVE FREAKING GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!!

Okay. This is the view from the Gateway Arch looking into Illinois. On a beautiful morning. From the top of the Arch. As in ON top of the Arch.

That is correct. One good gust of wind and the photographer's over the edge. Or sliding down the side of the Arch.

I'm getting vertigo just looking at this photo and the photos that follow. Yeah, I admit it. I prefer taking my views of downtown St. Louis from the inside of the Arch. But that's just me. Just call me Super Chicken.

From a photo gallery I found at KMOV.

"(KMOV) -- Since the arch's north tram opened in 1967, millions of visitors have traveled to the top on the inside. Only a few have stood on the top on the outside of the Gateway Arch. In 1990 Larry Conners was part of a News 4 crew given that rare opportunity. Here's a look at what that experience is really like."

Okay, let's start with a little perspective. This is inside the Arch, at the top, the position I prefer. That's my son as we visited this summer.


Now, this is the view as you open the hole at the top of the Arch. I didn't know there was one, and I, quite frankly, could have lived my entire life just fine without that knowledge. I guess that thingy in the picture is the red light that flashes on top so the birds, or aircraft, won't hit it.


Here's where things start making me dizzy, as the dudes crawl out the hole on the top of the Arch. It already looks like they can slide down the side of this puppy.


Um, I don't think so. Notice the cameraperson never stands up. With good reason, I might add!


The Mississippi sure looks calm. My nerves sure aren't, even though I'm sitting in a chair at my computer.


Not sure, but I think they're playing craps here.


"I'm king of the world" says the dude in the orange shirt doing his best Titanic impression. Or whatever.


"Okay, now everyone run behind me toward the bridge and dive-slide on your bellies down the side. What?"


Notice the lack of construction to the south of Busch Stadium. Because this is 1990! Busch III was not even conceived in anyone's mind.


The dude in the orange needs to just put his arms down. And quit chanting "BUNGEE! BUNGEE!"


I'll stay inside, thank you.