Wednesday, June 21, 2006
The Measure Of A Man
Don't worry. DEFINITELY nothing deep with this post.
What are my measurements? As in, what are my favorite units of measure?
I put a few hours of thought in to this, give or take. I can't even remember how I got so far off track as to start thinking such thoughts. But I did, none the less.
First of all, with a science background, I am partial to the metric system. To me it is flawless. There is an orderliness to it. Everything seems to fit with perfection. Therefore, I declare the metric system as more "Godly".
The English system...well, it's sinister. Its chaotic randomness is surely in league with the devil himself. Sixteen of these make one of those...twelve of these make one of this...three of this...And a peck? What the heck is up with that? Fathom? Fathom this, baby!
Shoot, we even have two different measures for a mile, one for land and one for sea. As if that should make a bushel of beans difference.
Check out this lineup and tell me if you know what the heck any of it means:
A "stone" of coal?
A "stone" of wool? (They ain't the same thing)
A "load" of straw?
A "spindle" of thread?
A "barrel" of butter?
A "barrel" of flour? (Ain't the same thing)
The first time I started looking for firewood, someone asked me how many "cords" I wanted. I thought to myself, I'll need at least a couple to keep it secure.
Did you know the US gallon is based on the "Queen Anne" gallon, whatever that is? It's 231 cubic inches.
Do you see what I'm saying? 231 cubic inches? 231? What is that? When did 231 become an important number for anything? Was "Queen Anne" insane?
Did you know there is an English unit of volume measurement called the "Pottle"? That's right, Pottle. It's two quarts. That's a half-gallon, folks.
I dare you to go to the supermarket next week and ask the dairy man for a pottle of milk.
"Excuse me, sir, I need a pottle of milk."
"Well take a look, we have all kinds of bottles, sir. What size were you needing?"
Quart is about the only thing in the English system that makes sense.
How insane were the English, anyway? Monty Python's crew couldn't have made up anything as good as this mess.
At any rate, here are my favorite measurements, in English and Metric.
English- The "Yard"
Metric- The "Centimeter"
English- The "Quart" (yes, I even prefer it to the mighty liter)
Metric- The "Milliliter"
English- The "Ton"
Metric- The "Kilogram"