Whatever happened to the Bunnie?
Tired of smashed eggs? I'm tired of waiting for Lutheran Lucy to find a dozen eggs that have no cracks when we go to the store. But I've got the solution. Ready? "Eggs In A Can".
Further proof of creation rather than evolution? Our taste buds are in our mouths. We do not have them in our stomachs. Or bowels, for that matter. Life is hard enough.
Why does our perception of time change as we get older? Everything starts whizzing by, whereas children seem to think everything takes forever.
Speaking of children and time perception, one of the worst experiences for a male child is to be taken along while an adult shops. Ughh, bad memories.
Speaking of time yet again, is a dog's perception of time such that each "real year" seems like the proverbial "7 dog years" to it? What about insects? Is their perception such that their 3 day life span seems like 3 score years? Do insects even ponder such things?
Apples and pears are so similar, how come there's no pear sauce? Or pear cider? And why not peach or watermelon sauce?
I bet I could make a million with the following idea. You know those leaf bags that we use in fall to put the leaves in for the garbageman? Have you ever noticed that they are long and thin? So you grab a handful of leaves and try to stuff it in a hole at the top of the bag that is just too small for the bunch you lifted. Well I'd design bags that are short and fat at the top, making it 10 times easier to fill them up.
Have you ever taken one of those personality quizzes (short version) where they give you 4 letters to describe your personality? I'm an ISFJ. I think, for the 21st century, we should base personality on who we like better in particular rock bands. For instance, lead singers, such as in AC/DC and Van Halen. I'm a BS guy. Ummmm...that stands for Bon and Sammy, folks. I think.
I'm always a little disgusted when someone describes their sputum as "creamy". Pick another word. It's no wonder 'Cream of Mushroom' soup doesn't have the appeal it once did.
I've got news for you all. If you've ever told your doctor something that disgusted you to talk about, chances are he's or she's grossed out, too. But if they're good they don't show it.
Some TV meteorologists are AMS certified. Some are NWA certified. It reminds me of wrestling in the '90s. You know, NWO vs. WWF. Hey, this is a good idea for a new reality show. Ditch "Dancing with the Stars". How about "Wrestling With The Weathermen"?
I've learned about clowns at DMG's blog. I'm quite scared of clowns for 3 reasons. 1) A weirdo circus clown dude who briefly married into distant family. 2) Gacy. 3) That Stephen King TV movie "The It". They were all "circus"-type clowns. But DMG is an August clown. Pronounced like Au Jus, but with a hard 'g'.
Are they having the 'Superhero' reality show next year?
In every significant conversation of my adult life, I've ended up using TV or movie lines at some point.
Let me show you some examples. Try one in your next conversation. Or maybe you have a few of your own. But to count, you must say it like the character.
"Irresponsible rumor."- Thurston Howell from Gilligan's Island.
"So I got that going for me...which is nice." "He's the Cinderella boy..."- Carl Spackler from Caddyshack.
"Mighty careless of you, old man." - The no name drifter in A Few Dollars More.
"Lighten up, Francis."- Sgt. Hulka from Stripes.
"There must be some needy bald people." - Laura Petrie from The Dick Van Dyke Show.
"Shut up, Mel!" - Alan Brady from The Dick Van Dyke Show.
"Uhhh...hey, baby!...huhh huhhh huhhh." "Shut up, Beavis, I was about to score." - Butthead.
"No joke, Tuco. It's a rope." - -'Blondie' in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
"My advice to you is to begin drinking heavily." - -Bluto in Animal House.
"It's the X-factor." -Obscure I Dream Of Jeannie reference.
"Why, thank you, Mrs. Cleaver." -Eddie Haskell from Leave It To Beaver.
"Whatcha talkin' 'bout Willis." -Arnold from Diff'rent Strokes.
"HOW AW YA?!!!" - Eugene Levy's comedian guy who's name escapes me, on the Sammy Maudlin Show from SCTV.
"That was REALLY scary!" -Count Floyd from SCTV.
"Use your head, man!"- Barney Fife stumbling through the emancipation proclamation on Andy Griffith.
There are some days where I won't mutter an original thought all day. Just an endless stream of lines. And no one notices. 'Cause I got a million of them!
Speaking of lines..."I see dead people" is a famous one. Some people say this is a movie line, but I'm not so sure. I seem to remember this as the line that ended the children's TV show 'Romper Room'. At the end of the show the host would get out the magic mirror and look through it and name off the first names of the children she saw, like "I see Jimmy, I see Sara, I see Fred..." That sort of thing. Until the above line was uttered. Never saw that program on TV after that. Anybody else remember this?
Speaking of the 'Romper Room' magic mirror, "I see Lucy, I see TK, I see Barb, I see Quipper, I see Marie, I see Des Moines Girl..."
Speaking of childhood, remember those scenery boards that had vinyl cutouts that you would stick on the board to make your own picture?
Did I mention today was my birthday? From the references in this post, can anyone guess my age? Lucy is disqualified.