Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Random Thoughts On A Beautifully Gray Fall Day

Nice rhyme, ay?

Whatever happened to the Bunnie?

Tired of smashed eggs? I'm tired of waiting for Lutheran Lucy to find a dozen eggs that have no cracks when we go to the store. But I've got the solution. Ready? "Eggs In A Can".


Further proof of creation rather than evolution? Our taste buds are in our mouths. We do not have them in our stomachs. Or bowels, for that matter. Life is hard enough.

Why does our perception of time change as we get older? Everything starts whizzing by, whereas children seem to think everything takes forever.

Speaking of children and time perception, one of the worst experiences for a male child is to be taken along while an adult shops. Ughh, bad memories.

Speaking of time yet again, is a dog's perception of time such that each "real year" seems like the proverbial "7 dog years" to it? What about insects? Is their perception such that their 3 day life span seems like 3 score years? Do insects even ponder such things?

Apples and pears are so similar, how come there's no pear sauce? Or pear cider? And why not peach or watermelon sauce?

I bet I could make a million with the following idea. You know those leaf bags that we use in fall to put the leaves in for the garbageman? Have you ever noticed that they are long and thin? So you grab a handful of leaves and try to stuff it in a hole at the top of the bag that is just too small for the bunch you lifted. Well I'd design bags that are short and fat at the top, making it 10 times easier to fill them up.

Have you ever taken one of those personality quizzes (short version) where they give you 4 letters to describe your personality? I'm an ISFJ. I think, for the 21st century, we should base personality on who we like better in particular rock bands. For instance, lead singers, such as in AC/DC and Van Halen. I'm a BS guy. Ummmm...that stands for Bon and Sammy, folks. I think.

I'm always a little disgusted when someone describes their sputum as "creamy". Pick another word. It's no wonder 'Cream of Mushroom' soup doesn't have the appeal it once did.

I've got news for you all. If you've ever told your doctor something that disgusted you to talk about, chances are he's or she's grossed out, too. But if they're good they don't show it.

Some TV meteorologists are AMS certified. Some are NWA certified. It reminds me of wrestling in the '90s. You know, NWO vs. WWF. Hey, this is a good idea for a new reality show. Ditch "Dancing with the Stars". How about "Wrestling With The Weathermen"?

I've learned about clowns at DMG's blog. I'm quite scared of clowns for 3 reasons. 1) A weirdo circus clown dude who briefly married into distant family. 2) Gacy. 3) That Stephen King TV movie "The It". They were all "circus"-type clowns. But DMG is an August clown. Pronounced like Au Jus, but with a hard 'g'.

Are they having the 'Superhero' reality show next year?

In every significant conversation of my adult life, I've ended up using TV or movie lines at some point.
Let me show you some examples. Try one in your next conversation. Or maybe you have a few of your own. But to count, you must say it like the character.
"Irresponsible rumor."- Thurston Howell from Gilligan's Island.
"So I got that going for me...which is nice." "He's the Cinderella boy..."- Carl Spackler from Caddyshack.
"Mighty careless of you, old man." - The no name drifter in A Few Dollars More.
"Lighten up, Francis."- Sgt. Hulka from Stripes.
"There must be some needy bald people." - Laura Petrie from The Dick Van Dyke Show.
"Shut up, Mel!" - Alan Brady from The Dick Van Dyke Show.
"Uhhh...hey, baby!...huhh huhhh huhhh." "Shut up, Beavis, I was about to score." - Butthead.
"No joke, Tuco. It's a rope." - -'Blondie' in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
"My advice to you is to begin drinking heavily." - -Bluto in Animal House.
"It's the X-factor." -Obscure I Dream Of Jeannie reference.
"Why, thank you, Mrs. Cleaver." -Eddie Haskell from Leave It To Beaver.
"Whatcha talkin' 'bout Willis." -Arnold from Diff'rent Strokes.
"HOW AW YA?!!!" - Eugene Levy's comedian guy who's name escapes me, on the Sammy Maudlin Show from SCTV.
"That was REALLY scary!" -Count Floyd from SCTV.

"Use your head, man!"- Barney Fife stumbling through the emancipation proclamation on Andy Griffith.

There are some days where I won't mutter an original thought all day. Just an endless stream of lines. And no one notices. 'Cause I got a million of them!


Speaking of lines..."I see dead people" is a famous one. Some people say this is a movie line, but I'm not so sure. I seem to remember this as the line that ended the children's TV show 'Romper Room'. At the end of the show the host would get out the magic mirror and look through it and name off the first names of the children she saw, like "I see Jimmy, I see Sara, I see Fred..." That sort of thing. Until the above line was uttered. Never saw that program on TV after that. Anybody else remember this?




Speaking of the 'Romper Room' magic mirror, "I see Lucy, I see TK, I see Barb, I see Quipper, I see Marie, I see Des Moines Girl..."

Speaking of childhood, remember those scenery boards that had vinyl cutouts that you would stick on the board to make your own picture?

Did I mention today was my birthday? From the references in this post, can anyone guess my age? Lucy is disqualified.

14 comments:

TKls2myhrt said...

Whatever happened to the Bunnie?
~I know, but I'm not telling. Suffice it to say that she is very, very, very happy.

Tired of smashed eggs? I'm tired of waiting for Lutheran Lucy to find a dozen eggs that have no cracks when we go to the store. But I've got the solution. Ready? "Eggs In A Can".
~No comment! Ewww.

Further proof of creation rather than evolution? Our taste buds are in our mouths. We do not have them in our stomachs. Or bowels, for that matter. Life is hard enough.
~If you ever get a chance, you've got to listen to Dr. David Menton on creation. He can talk for an hour on the utter creativity of one strand of hair.

Why does our perception of time change as we get older? Everything starts whizzing by, whereas children seem to think everything takes forever.
~Yep, that's one of life's mysteries.

Speaking of children and time perception, one of the worst experiences for a male child is to be taken along while an adult shops. Ughh, bad memories. ~ Sounds like my son now. What says young Angus?

Speaking of time yet again, is a dog's perception of time such that each "real year" seems like the proverbial "7 dog years" to it? What about insects? Is their perception such that their 3 day life span seems like 3 score years? Do insects even ponder such things?
~I hope not, because I don't want to know their thoughts as my foot comes down upon them.

Apples and pears are so similar, how come there's no pear sauce? Or pear cider? And why not peach or watermelon sauce?
~In Minnesota, there certainly is pear sauce. And pear cider is one of my favorite beverages.

I bet I could make a million with the following idea. You know those leaf bags that we use in fall to put the leaves in for the garbageman? Have you ever noticed that they are long and thin? So you grab a handful of leaves and try to stuff it in a hole at the top of the bag that is just too small for the bunch you lifted. Well I'd design bags that are short and fat at the top, making it 10 times easier to fill them up.
~Good idea.

Have you ever taken one of those personality quizzes (short version) where they give you 4 letters to describe your personality? I'm an ISFJ. I think, for the 21st century, we should base personality on who we like better in particular rock bands. For instance, lead singers, such as in AC/DC and Van Halen. I'm a BS guy. Ummmm...that stands for Bon and Sammy, folks. I think.
~ I want to be ELO. What would that stand for?

I'm always a little disgusted when someone describes their sputum as "creamy". Pick another word. It's no wonder 'Cream of Mushroom' soup doesn't have the appeal it once did.

I've got news for you all. If you've ever told your doctor something that disgusted you to talk about, chances are he's or she's grossed out, too. But if they're good they don't show it.
~Lately, I've told my doctor things I thought I'd never tell a doctor. I think you loose your hang-ups as you get older and become very practical.

Some TV meteorologists are AMS certified. Some are NWA certified. It reminds me of wrestling in the '90s. You know, NWO vs. WWF. Hey, this is a good idea for a new reality show. "Ditch Dancing with the Stars". How about "Wrestling With The Weathermen"?

~ I'd watch wrestling with the weathermen!

I've learned about clowns at DMG's blog. I'm quite scared of clowns for 3 reasons. 1) A weirdo circus clown dude who briefly married into distant family. 2) Gacy. 3) That Stephen King TV movie "The It". They were all "circus"-type clowns. But DMG is an August clown. Pronounced like Au Jus, but with a hard 'g'.

~ I admire clowns, but I sure don't understand them.

Are they having the 'Superhero' reality show next year?

~ I watched two times and was slightly amused.

In every significant conversation of my adult life, I've ended up using TV or movie lines at some point.
Let me show you some examples. Try one in your next conversation. Or maybe you have a few of your own. But to count, you must say it like the character.
"Irresponsible rumor."- Thurston Howell from Gilligan's Island.
"So I got that going for me...which is nice." "He's the Cinderella boy..."- Carl Spackler from Caddyshack.
"Mighty careless of you, old man." - The no name drifter in A Few Dollars More.
"Lighten up, Francis."- Sgt. Hulka from Stripes.
"There must be some needy bald people." - Laura Petrie from The Dick Van Dyke Show.
"Shut up, Mel!" - Alan Brady from The Dick Van Dyke Show.
"Uhhh...hey, baby!...huhh huhhh huhhh." "Shut up, Beavis, I was about to score." - Butthead.
"No joke, Tuco. It's a rope." - -'Blondie' in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
"My advice to you is to begin drinking heavily." - -Bluto in Animal House.
"It's the X-factor." -Obscure I Dream Of Jeannie reference.
"Why, thank you, Mrs. Cleaver." -Eddie Haskell from Leave It To Beaver.
"Whatcha talkin' 'bout Willis." -Arnold from Diff'rent Strokes.
"HOW AW YA?!!!" - Eugene Levy's comedian guy who's name escapes me, on the Sammy Maudlin Show from SCTV.
"That was REALLY scary!" -Count Floyd from SCTV.
"Use your head, man!"- Barney Fife stumbling through the emancipation proclamation on Andy Griffith.

~ We do this frequently. I'll have to observe over the next few days to see which phrases we use.

There are some days where I won't mutter an original thought all day. Just an endless stream of lines. And no one notices. 'Cause I got a million of them!

~Describes most bloggers, I think.

Speaking of lines..."I see dead people" is a famous one. Some people say this is a movie line, but I'm not so sure. I seem to remember this as the line that ended the children's TV show 'Romper Room.' At the end of the show the host would get out the magic mirror and look through it and name off the first names of the children she saw, like "I see Jimmy, I see Sara, I see Fred..." That sort of thing. Until the above line was uttered. Never saw that program on TV after that. Anybody else remember this?

Speaking of the 'Romper Room' magic mirror, "I see Lucy, I see TK, I see Barb, I see Quipper, I see Marie, I see Des Moines Girl..."

~Yep! One of my favorite. And she NEVER said Theresa. Never. On the brighter side, I was once the Burger King princess on the Carmen and Clancy show.

Speaking of childhood, remember those scenery boards that had vinyl cutouts that you would stick on the board to make your own picture?
~ Yes, I loved that. I forgot about it until just now.

Did I mention today was my birthday? From the references in this post, can anyone guess my age? Lucy is disqualified. I guess 42.

TKls2myhrt said...

I didn't mean for that to be so long. My brain is addled by codeine!

Dan @ Necessary Roughness said...

"In every significant conversation of my adult life, I've ended up using TV or movie lines at some point."

Scottius has now become Herman's Head.

Marie N. said...

The Quipper and I quote these pop culture refrences to each other. I don't get a lot of them because he was more steeped in pop culture as a youngin than I.

Happy birthday! Do you really want guesses on your age?!?!? How about around my age +/- four years!

I do remember watching Romper Room. I also remember telling my dad one time that Miss (I forget her name, the lady on Romper Room) told the kids to ask their parents for bulletin paper. Bulletin paper was what the church bought for dad, the young pastor, to print each weekly bulletin.
Ah, the imaginiation of a child!

Designated Knitter said...

Happy birthday! I'm going to guess 42-44, based on the fact that I think by time Romper Room came around, I had started school. My little brothers watched it tho!

Designated Knitter said...

Oh! But I loved those vinyl things with the shapes. I got one in school that had all blue shapes...that was fun. Haven't thought of that in years. So, the burning question - did you have Super Stuff??

Scottius Maximus said...

TK!

You do not know what happened to the Bunnie or you'd tell. Is she in heaven?

I should have known you'd have pear sauce. You always have the inside scoop on food.

ELO- as long as the L doesn't stand for Liberace, you probably can't lose.

Must see pictures of Burger King princess. No one will let you rest until we do.

"I didn't mean for that to be so long. My brain is addled by codeine!"
I'm LOL because my addled brain first thought that said COCAINE instead of codeine!

Dan@NR!

Herman's Head- isn't that another of your blogs? Actually, I remember this being on TV but cannot remember what it was about.

MarieN!

"Do you really want guesses on your age?!?!? How about around my age +/- four years!"
That's an 8 year swing! I admire your gumption, however, it disqualifies you due to a lack of specificity!

DK!

Never had Super Stuff that I know of- please describe. Perhaps I can use it if I make it on next year's Superhero reality show.

How come everybody thinks I'm over 40?!!!! What an insult! In reality, I'm 29.

TKls2myhrt said...

29? ha! Your son is around 15 or so. That would make you a whopping 14 when you and Lucy brought him forth into this world. Possible, but not probable.

Des_Moines_Girl said...

Happy Birthday Dude!

I will guess between 35 - 40. Split the difference and let's say...38. Am I right?

I remember Romper Room! Loved it!

Gotta get over your fear of clowns. Think of happy clowns like Claribell (sp?) from the Howdy Doody show or Ronald. Did you know that Captain Kangaroo was the original Claribell the clown and he was pretty cool! Clowns are nice!!! :o)

Quipper said...

Happy Birthday, you old ape, you. So, are you 9 in Ape years? (I have no idea what that means).

My quotes:
Let me go back, and face the peril - Sir Galahad to Sir Lancelot at the Castle Anthrax (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

Mousketeer roll call, count off now - Mickey Mouse Club.

Barb the Evil Genius said...

Scottius! Put down the glue bottle and back away...slowly!

I remember Romper Room, only a little bit more "modern" than the picture you posted. Only a little bit, mind you.

I'm going to distance myself from the herd and guess that you are...43!

We do a lot of quoting of Princess Bride here. "Bye boys! Have fun storming the castle!"

Scottius Maximus said...

TK!

Okay, you got me. I'm not 29.
"And I'd have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddlesome kids."- Generic bad guy on Scooby Doo.

DMG!

Thanks! I like the way you guess, however, it is also wrong. I heard that about The Captain. The Captain is cool, but Mr. Moose was my favorite.

Quipper!

Thanks. I have no idea what that means either, but it was pretty funny nonetheless. Which is okay, because I often don't know what some of the things I type mean, either.

Barb!

Yeah, I left that particular line off my list. Glad you caught it. I got up this a.m., took a look out the kitchen window, saw the dark and fog, and said to myself, "Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue." Then I laughed and felt better.

Glad to see you broke from the herd. BECAUSE YOU ARE THE WINNER! 43 IT IS! (You can't see it, but there is confetti flying and church bells ringing where I am.) Congratulations.

Lutheran Lucy said...

Yes, you are an old wipper snapper, aren't you? Nah, just kidding! Forty-three is a good young age if I say so myself!! :)

And honey, I am with TK about the eggs in a can. That's downright yucky!! :)

Scottius Maximus said...

Luce!

Even though you missed my birthday by 3 days, I still appreciate your recognition, in spite of your lack of appreciation for eggs in a can.