Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Scottius Maximus Word Of The Month

For February 2007, it is "jonesing".



Jonesing- "to have a strong need, desire, or craving for something." Per the Urban Dictionary.



Let's use it in a sentence.



"Man, I've been jonesing for some Barbie Fairytopia Cereal since yesterday."






Yesterday a little girl was eating a bag of that stuff in front of me. I was hungry and it smelled so good, I was plotting a way to snatch it from her when I saw her spit one of the bits out back in to the clear bag. But that aroma lingered for quite awhile.



Now I want it bad. It has little marshmallowy bits and purple and red crunchy morsels. Kind of like a cross between Sir Grapefellow and Baron Von Redberry.



I'd go buy a box. But how does a 43 year old male go into a store and buy a box of Barbie Fairytopia without inciting riotous laughter?



And since when do we have gender specific cold cereal? Why can't our society get past these discriminatory practices and move in to the 21st century?



So that I can have a little peace before I die.

5 comments:

Barb the Evil Genius said...

You pretend you have a young daughter. No problem. The less you explain, the better off you are. ;) This, my friend, is how I was able to hold my head up buying dolls for myself as an adult. When I got my picture taken with Belle at Disney World on my honeymoon, I said it was for my niece. Yeah, yeah, my niece.

And why on earth would you think Barbie Fairytopia cereal was gender specific? ;)

Scottius Maximus said...

Barb!

It's the packaging, not the cereal, that's gender specific. They could put the same cereal in a box that has footballs and hockey sticks and I'd feel a lot better about buying it.

I think Lucy has a doll I can pretend is my daughter. I'll just carry it in the store with me and talk to it like it's a human as I'm picking up the cereal. Then I won't have to feel weird buying it. Thanks, Barb, now I can fix my jonesing.

lutheranlucy said...

Dear husband, I will help you out and look for the cereal for you, okay? :)
Does that make you feel better?

Quipper said...

Scottius!

My boss uses the term "jonesing" all the time. It's hilarious.

Scottius Maximus said...

Luce!

I would be very grateful!

Quipper!

My boss is Lucy, and she never says it.