Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Going Smokeless



Walt Garrison would be proud.

The former Cowboys running back used to hawk chew back when I was a kid. I loved how he pronounced Skoal, Copenhagen, and Happy Days Mint.

I'd swear he was saying, "Sko', Copenhygen, and Happa Dyes Mee-yant." Just a "peench" between your cheek and gum.

Anyway, Busch Stadium is now a smokeless facility.



I'm not a smoker, so it won't affect me, but I like the fact that Busch Stadium is now smoke-free.

But I do have two questions-
1) Is it possible to make hot dogs without producing smoke?
2) Will spittoons be installed on the backs of stadium seats in order to eject tobacco juices?

2 comments:

Barb the Evil Genius said...

Erstwhile Christian comedian Mike Warnke gave a hilarious routine about living in Texas and needing to fit in with all the cowboys who were constantly spitting, but Warnke hated chewing tobacco. Instead, he ran a Tootsie Roll candy through a pencil sharpener. :)

So you're not a libertarian like my pastor, who thinks any suppression of anyone's rights anywhere ever is wrong (okay, I'm exaggerating)? :)

Scottius Maximus said...

Barb!

Mike Warnke is my kind of guy. But I prefer Big League Chew.

I love it when people who call themselves libertarian don't seem to have a problem with being a slave to a drug. Nothing says liberty like addiction.

I like to listen or watch Jim Rome, and I loved his take on this, which I have copied from his website:
"Here’s another reason why the World Champion St. Louis Cardinals are one of the model organizations in all of baseball. The team says Busch Stadium will be a smokeless yard starting opening day. Smoking had been prohibited in the seating area since 1995, but smokers were free to choke down their heaters, in designated degenerate areas. But not anymore! Now if they want to burn one rocket off another, you’re going to have to stay at home to do it. 15 stadiums down, 15 to go. It’s buy me some peanuts and Crackjacks, not a carton of non filters. I love it.

Is there anything more hilarious than treating smokers like the second class citizens they are? And you smokers can save your, “If I want to kill myself slowly, that’s my business, not yours…emails. That’s fine. I just don’t want you taking me with you. I have to dodge enough health bullets as it is, without you infecting me with black lung. I don’t smoke, why should I have to worry about getting emphysema? And I won’t, as long as you’re banned from the yard. You need to mix in a stick a gum, the patch, a rubber band or another addiction that won’t cause the rest of us any collateral damage. I don’t need to worry about contracting second hand alcoholism.

This is the best. I mean, I can’t be the only one who thinks that smokers being openly discriminated against is hilarious, can I? Big ups to the cardinals. A World Series title and a ban of death sticks. That’s solid work.
"