Friday, July 01, 2005

Next, Let's Have Senior NASCAR...Just For Kicks

I know I should not be shocked by this, but just what are we trying to do to our old people? Just 10 days ago we learned about 95 year olds running 100 meter dashes. Now amusement parks are hosting "Senior Days". And at every amusement park I have ever seen, senior citizens get in for 1/2 price.

Why? Why do we want 85 years old hurtling down tracks in a mine-train car at 70 mph? Why do we want to entice an 80 year old to do cork-screws and loops at 5 or 6 G's? I mean, if you want to hurt them, why not just wax the steps on their front porch. Don't entice them to come to your park to get hurt by offering admission at half price.


If anything, you'd think for insurance reasons alone, an amusement park would want to double or triple the admission price for a nursing home resident, to keep them out. Half price?

I don't know about you, but when I go to an amusement park, I don't want to be "amused" at the sounds of osteoporotic vertebrae being crushed or of pacemakers short-circuiting.

All you need to know about this is to note all of the signs posted around these parks. "Do Not Ride The Vortex Of Hell" if you have back problems, neck problems, circulatory problems, or heart problems. (They also usually list pregnancy- but so far we haven't had a pregnant 75 year old...yet).

So what do we do? We entice some poor gent who can't walk 10 steps without wheezing to come in our amusement parks by giving him an admission ticket at 1/2 price.

I don't get it.

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