Remember me? I'm a little short in the gift department so far this Christmas. Any and all gifts must be sent to Scottius Maximus, C/O Postmaster, Boody, IL. Time is running short...and, remember, I AM keeping score.
1. Green Ghost-
This was an awesome game from the late 1960s. We used to go downstairs into our dark basement and play this game with the lights out. The board glowed in the dark if you put it under a light for a few minutes, like those old glow in the dark watches. The board had little pits and dungeons that you could fall into. You had to reach in to the pits in the board, in the dark, and feel around to get the little green ghost guys. The spinner was this giant green ghost that you see on the box. The only down side was that the ghosts in this game (see picture of box above) looked like green little Dick Vitales.
"That's awesome, baby!"
2. The Domino's Pizza Man Cave Couch-
Price tag: a mere $30,000, plus $5,000 shipping and handling.
And isn't it worth it? A person would almost never have to leave the comfort of their couch. Read:
"The unique couch's myriad features reflect the desires of pizza-loving sports fanatics, nearly 500 of whom were surveyed about what they wanted in the supreme sports sofa. They went for the classic furnishings of a "man cave," that increasingly popular phenomenon of a dwelling-like area (usually the basement) for today's modern caveman.
The Domino's Pizza Man Cave Couch has it all. It serves as a high-end entertainment and food-and-beverage center where everything is within hairy arm's reach.
The Domino's Pizza Couch features:
- Two flat panel screen televisions
- DVD player
- Mini refrigerator
- Xbox with three controllers
- Electric Red MP3 player
- XM Radio with one year of free service
- NEXTEL cellular phone and a NASCAR headset
- Two Domino's Pizza Heat Wave hot bags to keep your pizzas warm
- Coca-Cola beverage cooler
- Remote control caddy
- Bottle opener
All of the couch action can be captured with an included Kodak Easy Share camera. If that's not enough, guys can kick back and enjoy the special reclining option and head rests that double as paper towel holders. To ensure couch-sitters are respectable and presentable when they leave the couch, Old Spice has provided a year's supply of men's deodorant and body spray.
The couch also features the autographs of two-time Daytona 500 winner (and Domino's Pizza Driver) Michael Waltrip and other NASCAR drivers."
Call 1-800-521-8274 to order for me. See, I've done all the work. I'm making this too easy for you all.
"You sit down at the bar and order a double Scotch and soda. But the drink tastes more like water than Speyside malt. No worries, just whip out this trusty alcohol tester and catch that 250 lb. bartender red-handed. You hold up your multicolored testing device and shout: you, sir, are a cheat! What happens next is anyone's guess, but I hope you are wearing running shoes.
Of course this is also ideal for any serious bartender or drinking business. The principle is based on the different weight of alcohol and water. The position of the rings and the colors show the percentage of alcohol to water. It comes in various materials and with different numbers of rings for measuring."
My only question is: if I make Rum Ball Cookies, can it tell how much alcohol is in them?
4. Exercise Heart Rate Monitor.
Also from Gizmodo.
For only $155 you can get me something that I can put on me that will measure my heart rate as I am exercising. This little tank-top-like doo-dad seems a little short, but I can make do. WHAT?!!!
From Engadget. The greatest racing game ever, Super Mario Kart, in genuine arcade splendor. I have a space in my house all picked out for this contraption. Up with Mario, down with Wario!
Not much time left. Please help out. I'm serious! Don't laugh! C'mon! Scrooges!