Thursday, June 29, 2006

Dear Readers, I Pose To You Some Tough Questions


"Hiya, folks."- California Rat

I was driving to the hospital today listening to Rush Limbaugh on the radio. What I heard made me come unhinged with laughter. Fortunately the tears that formed in my eyes did not cause an accident. I still am laughing as I write this.

I don't mean to belittle animal cruelty in any way. This is not my intention. I am laughing at the way this article is written, the choices of words used, and the sheer absurdity of it all.

Please read this article and answer the following questions:

1) What, or who, are rat "lovers"?


2) What, or who, are rat "fanciers"?

3) "Rat lobby"?!!! I know we've reached the end of civilization if there is a "rat lobby" in this country.

4) Explain the logic of the statement, ""We euthanized all of the adults except the ones we have to keep on quarantine because they bit staff...".
Shouldn't those rats have been the first to "go down"?

5) What the hell does the statement "the rat community was in the process of mobilizing" mean? RAT COMMUNITY?!!! Does such a thing even exist? And who belongs to it?

6) Is it really necessary to put the following statement in this article?
"
The rat fanciers, she said, are not being rational. "

7) The perp, who was a convicted armed robber, mind you, "didn't seem like a bad guy" to the city's Animal Services Manager.
Huh?

8) Was the following paragraph necessary to the story?
"He's an intelligent man to talk to, but he smells like rat urine," Tavares said. "He told me that when he had only 100 of them he'd let them sleep with him in his bed. They'd get all in his shorts and stuff. And you can't potty train them, so you know they were urinating and defecating in there."
OH, PUH-LEASE!!!!!!

Let's revoke this reporter's credentials, folks. I've never seen crap like this put out.*


*Well, except on this blog.

8 comments:

Quipper said...

Who'd of thought to categorize rats as 'social' or 'antisocial'?

So, the ones that bite - are they raised to become Democrat voters?

Barb the Evil Genius said...

There's all kinds of "communities" out there - watch CSI: Las Vegas. Although that "rat community" does sound a bit, um, batty. Did you also notice the two guys that hid in his house wanted to kidnap the son of the leader of the Rat Pack? I'd say this guy has had a thing for rats for a long time.

As far as keeping the rats alive that have bit people, maybe they have to watch them for diseases? I thought rabies could be diagnosed by an autopsy, but I don't know much about rat diseases, and I don't really want to find out!

TKls2myhrt said...

Barb, there's one more community: The community of CALIFORNIA. I've known for a long time that I would never move there and each year there is another story illustrating why I won't.

Scottius, how come you're laughing and I'm rubbing my eyes and head in frustration and grimacing? My kids say I do that when I'm really mad.

Scottius Maximus said...

"Who'd of thought to categorize rats as 'social' or 'antisocial'?"

The Quipper, I think they're called kooks. See post from last week. Appropriately, the official SM word of the month is kook.

Barb, one of the ironies of the story is how the writer avoids all of the bad that rats bring to society. Things like the plague, and other diseases.

And that Rat Pack thing was too much even for Rush Limbaugh. It even sent him into uncontrollable guffawing.

TK, I just laugh at the absurdity of what this world is becoming. This stuff is just comical to me. I guess you can choose to laugh, cry or get mad.

And where did the statement, "as California goes, so goes the country" come from? I think that it's true, and that it is why this country is in such trouble. When the rest of "us" stop taking our cues from California, we'll be better off.

TKls2myhrt said...

Well, at 9:30pm at night after a long day (and long week), I was frustrated. Today, on a sunny afternoon with a long weekend coming up, I can laugh it off. I wish I could have heard Rush laughing, it would have made me laugh, too.

Scottius Maximus said...

Glad to hear you feel better, TK. That's better.

Anonymous said...

Pet rats don't carry the plague.

Please stop confusing domesticated rats with wild ones. They are different. It's akin to saying that my huskey is a vicious wolf.

Rats make great pets, and people who cling on to the plague and the reputation of their wild cousins need to wake up and enter reality.

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