Thursday, June 29, 2006
Dear Readers, I Pose To You Some Tough Questions
"Hiya, folks."- California Rat
I was driving to the hospital today listening to Rush Limbaugh on the radio. What I heard made me come unhinged with laughter. Fortunately the tears that formed in my eyes did not cause an accident. I still am laughing as I write this.
I don't mean to belittle animal cruelty in any way. This is not my intention. I am laughing at the way this article is written, the choices of words used, and the sheer absurdity of it all.
Please read this article and answer the following questions:
1) What, or who, are rat "lovers"?
2) What, or who, are rat "fanciers"?
3) "Rat lobby"?!!! I know we've reached the end of civilization if there is a "rat lobby" in this country.
4) Explain the logic of the statement, ""We euthanized all of the adults except the ones we have to keep on quarantine because they bit staff...".
Shouldn't those rats have been the first to "go down"?
5) What the hell does the statement "the rat community was in the process of mobilizing" mean? RAT COMMUNITY?!!! Does such a thing even exist? And who belongs to it?
6) Is it really necessary to put the following statement in this article?
" The rat fanciers, she said, are not being rational. "
7) The perp, who was a convicted armed robber, mind you, "didn't seem like a bad guy" to the city's Animal Services Manager.
8) Was the following paragraph necessary to the story?
"He's an intelligent man to talk to, but he smells like rat urine," Tavares said. "He told me that when he had only 100 of them he'd let them sleep with him in his bed. They'd get all in his shorts and stuff. And you can't potty train them, so you know they were urinating and defecating in there."
Let's revoke this reporter's credentials, folks. I've never seen crap like this put out.*
*Well, except on this blog.