Worst. Christmas Song. Ever.

I nominate "Candy Kid" by Tony Romeo. Found this in an old piano book. Just look at these fine lyrics:

"Feelin' so depressed I wasn't up to getting dressed
it was a Saturday night so I decided against a party.
There was Christmas in the air and you could feel it ev'rywhere,
and it kinda brought me down cuz I felt I just wasn't ready.

I headed on down to the center of town
Where folks were shopping around and all the colored lights were pretty.
And suddenly I could hear so loud and so clear
such beautiful music and the rhythm was happy.

Chorus:
It was the Candy Kid from the mission Bow'ry.
A hobo Santa working for the Salvation Army.
Come drop a nickel in the kettle.
The Candy Kid will dance your troubles away.

Watchin' him move, people couldn't help but groove
And they were clappin' their hands and singin', "Come on Candy."
While we were caught in this glow it may have started to snow,
I don't know, I don't know, my happy soul was diggin' Candy.
(Chorus)"


I don't know, I don't know? Well, actually I do. Yuck.