Friday, February 04, 2005

Could You Look Yourself In The Mirror?

A fan goes to the ballpark. He can't miss the warnings that exist everywhere, and are reiterated by the PA announcers, to watch out for balls flying around the park. A player hits a screeching foul ball. It's heading right for him. And in that split second, instead of taking cover, his brain short-circuits, deceiving him, and betraying the rest of his body. "Hey, I can catch this little white object whistling toward by head", the mind concludes. In a few milliseconds, calculations are made in the dude's gray matter, calculating the time and position of the sphere's arrival, and maneuvering his hands to the coordinates calculated in hopes of capturing it. Well, let's just say, he "missed it by that much, Chief". His brain wasn't as sharp as it thought it was, and his dexterity was not what it should have been.


Right in the melon. Mr. Fan is temporarily blinded, and despite 3 1/2 years of waiting, claims his vision is not yet returned to normal.

Well, one would hope the story would end here with our hero learning a valuable lesson and being more careful next time he's attending a contest of our national pastime.

BUT NOOOOOOO! Mr. Hands Of Stone is engaging in our new national pastime...blaming someone else for his buffoonery and botched play making. That's right. He is suing the ballpark and the team who plays there. Read all about it here.

The most embarrasing part for this guy has got to be the fact that he is a dentist. Supposedly a master artist, skillful with his hands. Well, you'd be wrong. Not this guy. And not only were his hands made of concrete, but his cerebral cortex is made of the same materials. And what about his vision? Would you want those hands guided by those eyes and manipulated by that mind coming at your mouth?

But let's blame someone else. Makes me sick.

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