A Year Later, And We're Both Still Awaiting A Logical Explanation

"The dateline STILL confuses me, too."- Maria Sharapova.

Absolutely, Maria. Yeah, that's right. I'm so confused...somebody help me.

Last year, during the women's semifinal of the Australian Open, I couldn't figure this stuff out, and got so dizzy while trying I almost missed work the next day.

So here we go again.

Tonight, 1/25/06, as I am writing this, the women's semifinal is starting on ESPN2.

But is it really on tonight, because in Australia, as I am watching, they are actually playing tomorrow (1/26/06). So when I watch this tonight am I really watching something taking place tomorrow? Am I looking in to the future?

Or is it actually taking place today, even though the date of the match is tomorrow (1/26/06)? But how could the match be on 1/26/06 if it's really only 1/25/06 when I am watching it live?

On the other hand, if they are playing the match 1/26/06, which is tomorrow, how is it I am watching it tonight 1/25/06? And if they are actually playing tonight, then how come in Australia it is already tomorrow, which is plainly not today? How can all this be? I don't think it can be.

I'm calling in sick tomorrow.