I think that's the idea behind the Sesame Street Terror Levels. I know the good Aardvark keeps this up to date, and Des Moines Girl just posted about this. It goes like this:
But it's been a few years since these levels were introduced. I think it is time to retire them in favor of other totally useless, dumb and superficial terror levels. Which brings us to today's theme...
TERROR ALERTS FOR THE POST LIQUID BOMB ERA.
1= Severe, corresponds to there being big trouble.
2= High, corresponds to the potential for big trouble.
3= Elevated, corresponds to being highly alert.
4= Guarded, corresponds to being cautious.
5= Low, corresponds to everything being right with the world.
1= Mr. Salty. (When this tough guy is around, there can't help but be trouble)
2= Mr. Peanut. (Don't let his refined demeanor fool you)
3= Cheetohs Cheetah
4= Sugar Bear.
5= Tony The Tiger.
The Ted Kennedys.
1= Homicidally Negligent Teddy. (Chappaquiddick?)
2= Philanderer Teddy.
3= Alcoholic Teddy. (Nothing says yellow alert like a jaundiced cirrhotic)
4= Fat Teddy.
5= Young Teddy.
Green Acres Characters.
1= Mr. Haney.
Leave It To Beaver Characters.
1= Eddie Haskell. (Synonymous with trouble)
St. Louis Cardinals.
1= Jason Isringhausen.
2= Tony LaRussa.
3= Jimmy Edmonds.
4= David Eckstein.
5= Albert Pujols.
Real Men Of Genius Commercials.
1= Mr. Chinese Food Delivery Guy.
2= Mr. All You Can Eat Buffet Inventor.
3= Mr. Really Bad Toupee Inventor.
4= Mr. Restroom Toilet Paper Refiller.
5= Mr. Athletic Groin Protector Inventor.
2= Almond Joy.
5= Milky Way.
And yes, it is true, I have squandered most of the time God has given me on this Earth.