Wednesday, September 06, 2006

I've Hit The Mother Lode

Sometime last week.

The definitive Shannonism web page. Complete with an attempted definition of "Shannonism"- "They came out of the mouth of Cardinals' broadcaster Mike Shannon, who sometimes has an interesting handle on the English language. But it is this handling of the language, filled with slurred gaffs and malapropisms that has linked Shannon to Harry Carey or Yogi Berra...and endeared him to Cardinal fans.

In fact, someone once asked Jack Buck, "Jack, what are your plans for the offseason?" He replied, "I think I'll spend my offseason teaching Mike Shannon English."

I thought these had all been well chronicled. Until I ran across this webpage. TWENTY SIX different categories. That's not the number of Shannonisms. It's the number of CATEGORIES of Shannonisms.

The following are some of my favorites, which I had never heard before now. There are plenty more, most of which I have posted in the past.

"Albert [Pujols] ripped in to that pitch the way the Cookie Monster rips into cookies. Atta baby, Albert."

"Everyone's on a pitch count now, you people down on the farms don't let major league baseball on your place or they will have the cows on a pitch count."

"And Matt Lawton is stuck in the desert without a paddle."

"That's a home run in a silo!" (describing a high pop-up)

"The outfield is deep and playing him straight-away and the infield is the same except first, second, third and short are playing him to pull."

"They've got a guy named Diaz (Die-az) and we've got a Diaz (Dee-az), and they're both spelled the same, I tell you folks English is a strange language."

"They'll be hanging from the roofters at Shea when the Cardinals come to town."

Shannon: Would you believe Andujar Cedeño is not related to either Joaquin Andujar or Cesar Cedeño?
Joe Buck: I'll believe anything you tell me!

Shannon: You know Jack, the 3-2 count in baseball is just like the ole question in science, "Which came first the chicken or the egg?"
Jack Buck: How so?

Shannon: Whoever scores the most runs usually wins the game.
Jack Buck: Usually Mike?

As Albert Pujols stepped up to the plate
Shannon: "I know what's wrong here...I forgot to get the lucky peanut out!"
He apparently pulls a peanut out of his pocket and places it on the table/counter/whatever it's called in front of him in the broadcasting booth. Within a few seconds, Pujols homered to give the Cardinals the lead
Shannon: "And the lucky peanut does it again!!!"

Per Jack Buck, there were pre-game festivities once that included an appearance by "Miss Cheesecake". After the game was underway Miss Cheesecake comes up to the booth bringing with her an actual cheesecake.
Jack Buck: Well Mike, what do you think of Miss Cheesecake?
Shannon: (apparently thinking he had said "this cheesecake" ) I could go for a piece of that right now.

"The Ozarks are a beautiful place this time of year, with all the animals scurrying around, trying to add to their heritage......"

This place has a lot of crooks and nannies. (Miami's Joe Robbie Stadium, now Pro Player)

One run in this ballpark is like a grain of salt in the Sahara Desert. (Wrigley Field)

"We've got a day game tomorrow night."

"We should hook him up with Ron Santo and let them kick it around for awhile, I'll bet they'd have a lot to talk about. Of course Ron lost his legs a different way, but I'll bet they'd still hit it off." (referring to Matt Browning, a St. Louis Police Officer who lost his legs after being hit by a drunk driver outside of Busch Stadium)

"John, if I had to invest in a company, long-term, I'd invest in hearing aids"

"Everything's official except for the goodies like the Bud Light."


  1. This place has a lot of crooks and nannies. (Miami's Joe Robbie Stadium, now Pro Player)

    That's my favorite.

  2. Those are great. I'll have to look up the website at home. Mrs. Quipper and I will get a good laugh out of these.

  3. Dan@NR!

    It was hard picking just a few for this post, but that one was a must.

    Guaranteed laughs if you follow the link to the website. Extraordinary stuff.