What If...

You could go to your favorite political/religious blog and not see someone try to argue with that tired cliche, "the strawman"?

Whitey Herzog directed movies and Werner Herzog had managed the Cardinals?

Account numbers that begin with a string of zeroes were outlawed?

We are the real puppets, and Howdy Doody and Knucklehead Smiff are actually pulling our strings?

Subway at least offered us PB and J?

Instead of going down to Georgia, the Devil went up to Schenectady?

The Bears had been called The Goats?

KC and the Sunshine Band was really a CIA operative like Chuck Barris?

Instead of a hairy place on the upper lip, God put a hairy patch on each cheek?

Instead of a bullfrog, Jeremiah was a chain smoking halibut who hated wine?

You could have the last 60 seconds of your life back?