Everyone knows what I wanted (see here and here if you don't). Now, here's what I actually received as gifts.
1- A videotape called "Frosty's Psychotic Christmas"
In what is sure to be the last in the "Frosty" Christmas Special genre, Frosty comes to life in this animated adventure and begins to hear voices telling him to kill everyone around him. Lots of unholy carnage ensues. I may be old-fashioned, but in my opinion this is really not appropriate as a holiday special.
2- A CD entitled "Elton John's Greatest Songs That You Can Actually Understand The Words To"
Funny thing is I tried to play it but there does not appear to be any music on it. I'm not sure if I was ripped off, or if there are no songs in which the words aren't a garbled mess.
3- A book entitled "Purpose Driven Smoking- The Novice's Guide On How To Begin To Use Tobacco Products"
I've enjoyed an occasional cigar, but I never realized the flip side to all the negative spin around tobacco. I've had time to thumb through this book, but not read it in detail. From what little I have read, the anti-tobacco main stream media has been crusading against this plant's use, but as usual is not presenting the whole truth, such as all the good to be found in smoking or chewing this crop's leaves. Typical MSM stuff, you know. I'm about to read Chapter 2 on how to select a brand of cigarette to match your style.
4- Squidward and Patrick socks and underwear.
Enough said about that.
5- Chicago Bears 2006 Super Bowl Shuffle Record
"'Cause we're not here, to start no trouble, we're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle!"