Wednesday, July 18, 2007

The Next Chapter Or A Whole New Book?


My first book, which came out two years ago, had a second edition published last year.

Now we have news of this. This could easily be chapter 3 of my book, but being the visual creature I am, I am reluctant to go with it without a good picture. And the x-rays I have seen which I might use are none too clear.

Which makes me think that perhaps I should use this story as the first chapter in an entirely new book. The working title is "Americans Are Nothing But A Bunch Of Whiney Pussies."

Because if this story would have happened here, it undoubtedly would be a different story. The man would have found the nearest lawyer, sued the doctor who sutured him with a tooth in his head, sued the hospital that allowed the doctor near him, sued the other rugby player for allowing his teeth to be in a state that they were so easily evacuated from his mouth, sued his parents for passing on to him a skull that wasn't strong enough to stop a tooth, as well as all relatives and by-standers of said persons.

Then he would have appeared on Today, Good Morning America, Oprah, and Greta, where he would cry on about his tragedy to all the pinheads who would listen.

Then the governement would get involved, and some jag of a representative would enact a law making it a crime to play rugby without a helmet or mouthguard.

But, thankfully, this guy is Australian. His name is Ben Czislowski. Here's his take on the situation as noted in the above link:

"I can laugh about it now but the doctor told me it could have been serious with teeth carrying germs," Czislowski told Australian Associated Press.

"I feel so lucky that the worst that I got out of it was that my head looked uglier than it does normally."

That's awesome, no?

If you haven't seen Russell Crowe's 60 Minutes interview, I suggest you go here to read it. It illustrates what I am talking about. This country is all about being the biggest crybaby. We overreact to everything. It's true. And the press, being obnoxious and self-important, eggs this behavior on. I really admire what Crowe has to say. He's one of the few who have the stones to say what he really thinks. What you see is what you get. There's little room for hypocrisy when you live your life that way.

The following was a great post from Gates of Vienna a while back that illustrates the kind of country we've allowed ourselves to be caged into:
"See what fifty years will do:

Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.
1956 Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack’s rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.
2006 School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1956 Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.
2006 Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jason won’t be still in class, disrupts other students.
1956 Jason sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class.
2006 Jason given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jason has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping.
1956 Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2006 Billy’s Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy’s sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school.
1956 Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2006 Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1956 Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2006 Pedro’s cause is taken up by state Democratic party. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can’t speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed
1956 Ants die.
2006 BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny’s Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again."

Can we ever return? Of course not. I just hope our mentality is not contagious and doesn't spread to places like Australia and New Zealand.

So, which should it be? The new chapter? Or the new book?

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