Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Mission: Impossible

Jim Rome reported one of the funniest things I have heard this year. It seems Karl Malone and Kobe Bryant are not getting along, and Kobe doesn't want Karl back when he is recovered from his knee injury. According to Kobe, Karl "hit on" his wife at a Lakers game. What else (besides forcing Karl out of LA) is Kobe prepared to do to Karl? Well, according to Rome, Kobe threatened to "kick his (Malone's) ass"! Wow, is Kobe grounded in reality or what?

Here are some other things Kobe believes he can do, which will all happen before he will ever be able to kick Karl's ass:
Buy his wife's forgiveness with jewelry.
Sell popcorn at halftime.
Work on the human genome project.
Fly commercial aircraft.
Find Osama Bin Laden.
Rid the world of AIDS.
Become invisible by snapping his fingers and saying "Kaazam".
Dead lift the weight in cash of all his lost endorsement deals.

Besides vanquishing Karl, I do know one other thing Kobe will never be able to do. Lead the Lakers to another NBA title.

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