Thursday, August 18, 2005

Obesity Solved!

We live in a fast paced society. To skim some more time out of the day, we usually cut corners with things like lunch or breakfast. In fact, I bet a good number of you all eat in your cars. Or trucks.

Several truck drivers and others who travel on their jobs and eat on the run tell me they often get fast food so that they can continue on down the road and eat. I mean, who can eat a salad while navigating around curves and through lane changes? And so they eat high calorie fast food which compounds their weight problem when done in the setting of their inactivity. So, what to do?

Well, I put my mind to work, and I've figured it out. No thanks necessary, folks.

The answer?

Liquid salad.

That's right. Salad you can drink as you ease on down the road. I am putting my idea out there so that some chemist somewhere can begin to work on the project of the century. I only ask that I get a cut of the profits, a "finder's fee", if you will.

But that's not all. You see, when you go through the drive through and order your liquid salad, it won't come in a lightweight piece of plastic. No, that's counter-productive.

Liquid salad containers will be made of concrete. That way, you'll have to do a hefty biceps curl just to get it up to your mouth. So more calories will be burned just by "eating" the liquid salad.

Sometimes I amaze myself. Life can be so simple, folks. You're welcome.


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    All statements made are our express opinion only and should be treated as such.
    We may own, take position and sell any securities mentioned at any time. Any statements that express or involve discussions with respect
    to predictions, goals, expectations, beliefs, plans, projections, objectives, assumptions or future events or performance are
    not statements of historical fact and may be "forward, looking
    statements." forward, looking statements are based on expectations, estimates
    and projections at the time the statements are made that involve a number of risks and uncertainties which could cause actual results
    or events to differ materially from those presently anticipated. This newsletter was paid $3,000 from third party (IR Marketing).
    Forward,|ooking statements in this action may be identified through the use of words such as: "projects", "foresee", "expects". in compliance with Se'ction 17. {b), we disclose the holding of EGTY shares prior to the publication of this report. Be aware of an inherent conflict of interest resulting from such holdings due to our intent to profit from the liquidation of these shares. Shares may be sold at any time, even after positive statements have been made regarding the above company. Since we own shares, there is an inherent conflict of interest in our statements and opinions. Readers of this publication are cautioned not to place undue reliance on forward,looking statements, which are based on certain assumptions and expectations involving various risks and uncertainties that could cause results to
    differ materially from those set forth in the forward- looking statements. This is not solicitation to buy or sell stocks, this text is
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  2. You're welcome. Thank you for the compliments.

    That's a good, although completely unsolicited and off topic, point. And I noticed the use of the word "liquidation" in this comment. Word gets around fast on this "inner net thang" doesn't it? Salad liquidation has the same potential. I see $$$$$$$.

  3. I can't believe you got that spam to this post. Too funny! I'm sorry, but liquid salad sounds very gross. Have you ever discovered rotting lettuce in the refrigerator and noticed the liquid? That's all I can think when I think of liquid salad.
    My baseball news is that we visited Wrigley and US Cellular this past week. Very interesting contrasts. We saw the Sox v. Twins, Sox v. Yankees and Cubs v. Braves. All good games and nice stadiums, but the Cubs remain our favorites in Chicago.

  4. Oooh, rotting lettuce! I forgot about rotting lettuce. Dang! That could undo this whole thing.

    "My baseball news is that we visited Wrigley and US Cellular this past week. Very interesting contrasts."

    Yes indeed. And not just the stadium contrast. The quality of play, I hope you noticed, also contrasts, what with the Cubs playing. (Sorry, I couldn't resist).

    But this begs the question- on a baseball vacation, why not St. Lou? Just follow the river until you come to an arch thingy.