Theme Song Part 2

Candidate #2:
"Scottius Maximus, Superhero"- Words by Scottius Maximus. Sing to the music of "You Don't Mess Around With Jim" by Jim Croce, to whose family I send my apology.


"Mars has got it's monsters
Venus- aliens.
Who's gonna stop their loathsome, evil mirth
When they set their sights on Earth?
They're as big and strong as ETs come
But they're just not what you'd call bright
Even so they attacked while America napped,
And they conquered Earth at night.

Chorus
And they say
'You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with martians.

Well outta central Illinois there came a country boy
He said, 'I'm lookin' for aliens
I am an ape, call me thus:
Scottius Maximus.
But down home they call me 'The Chimp'.
Yeah I'm looking for the heads of Mars and Venus
They'll be drivin' a drop top Cadillac
Last week they conquered this planet
Like the Germans took France and
Now I've come to take the whole Earth back'
Chorus:
And ev'rybody say 'Jack, don't you know that
You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with martians.'

Well a hush fell over the whole earth-
When those monsters and the chimp did meet.
And when the cuttin' was done
Their only parts that weren't bloody
Were the soles of those alien's feet.
Yeah they were cut in 'bout a hundred places
And they were shot in a couple more
And you better believe
They sung a different kind of story
When those aliens hit the floor
Chorus
Now they say
'You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with the chimp.'

Bridge
Yeah, those aliens got beat back
Found out where it's at
Not attacking people strange to you
Even if Earthings have deserved it a time or two, yeah

Chorus
You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with chimp."