Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Another Recurring "Nightmare"
Last year I posted about recurring dreams I keep having, one involving a phone. Not really nightmares, but frustrating dreams. But there is an even scarier thought I keep having that is worse than these. That involves my cell phone.
My business partner and I have Nextel phones. One of my recurring daytime dreams is that I will leave it on during church. Not because it might accidentally ring during church. While that might be a little annoying and slightly embarrassing, it would not cause any long term distress.
You see, these are the Walkie-Talkie phones. Meaning if I accidentally leave it on, my partner might, unknowingly mind you, attempt to contact me during church. And while he is a great guy, his language is sometimes...how should I put this? Not church-appropriate would be a good description. And the volume of his voice only has medium and high settings.
I can just see this picture in my mind of the entire congregation, kneeling in confession before the Lord, when suddenly, my Walkie-Talkie beeps. Before I can grab it and turn it off, a few nuclear bomb words are set off in the sanctuary, echoing two, maybe three, times before falling silent against my dumbfounded face. Is it possible to be white as a sheet and beet red simultaneously?
It would go down something like this:
"[Very Loudly] Hey, Mark, you there? You're not going to believe what just ----ing happened to me. Call me, if you can hear me on this piece of ----."
At that point, I'm praying for the ground to please swallow me up like it did those people in Numbers.
Lord, please keep it from happening in the first place.