Last year I posted about recurring dreams I keep having, one involving a phone. Not really nightmares, but frustrating dreams. But there is an even scarier thought I keep having that is worse than these. That involves my cell phone.
My business partner and I have Nextel phones. One of my recurring daytime dreams is that I will leave it on during church. Not because it might accidentally ring during church. While that might be a little annoying and slightly embarrassing, it would not cause any long term distress.
You see, these are the Walkie-Talkie phones. Meaning if I accidentally leave it on, my partner might, unknowingly mind you, attempt to contact me during church. And while he is a great guy, his language is sometimes...how should I put this? Not church-appropriate would be a good description. And the volume of his voice only has medium and high settings.
I can just see this picture in my mind of the entire congregation, kneeling in confession before the Lord, when suddenly, my Walkie-Talkie beeps. Before I can grab it and turn it off, a few nuclear bomb words are set off in the sanctuary, echoing two, maybe three, times before falling silent against my dumbfounded face. Is it possible to be white as a sheet and beet red simultaneously?
It would go down something like this:
"[Very Loudly] Hey, Mark, you there? You're not going to believe what just ----ing happened to me. Call me, if you can hear me on this piece of ----."
At that point, I'm praying for the ground to please swallow me up like it did those people in Numbers.
Lord, please keep it from happening in the first place.
Very recently, my husband's phone started to ring in the middle of a quiet time in church. What ring does he have? Why, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" of course. What else would a baseball coach have? I consider it my mission to make sure all four of our phones are on silent, but that day I missed his.
ReplyDeleteYou should talk to the Nextel office and see what they suggest. Also, you could call the Dream Doctor (a late night radio show).
"Take Me Out to the Ballgame" is not so bad. Now, AC/DC's "Highway To Hell" would be.
ReplyDeleteIs Dream Doctor like Art Bell's Coast to Coast?
Two other songs that you really wouldn't want to hear at a church service would be the Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil" or Van Halen's "Running With the Devil."
ReplyDeleteOne of my friends' phone went off one time at a Wednesday service and it sounded like the Chuck Berry song "Roll Over Beethoven."
Good point, Mr. Anonymous.
ReplyDeleteYes,I could see this happening!! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lucy. That's soothing for my fears.
ReplyDeleteI would never actually recommend the Dream Doctor. At first, I had a problem with him, but after listening for a while I think he's pretty harmless. I don't actually listen often, but he's on at a time when I'm getting ready to retire for the night and might be listening to the radio. He's nationally syndicated and is easy to find with Google.
ReplyDelete