Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I Have Good News

Remember last year when I published my book, "Why I Don't Play Rugby"?

Well, due to its popularity, Scottius Maximus Publishing, a subsidiary of Scottius Maximus Enterprises, is proud to announce it has ordered a second printing. And it's been updated for 2006.

And I'm proud to reproduce it here.

Without further adieu, "Why I Don't Play Rugby", 2nd Edition." Enjoy.

Why I Don't Play Rugby

by Scottius Maximus

Copyright 2005
2nd Edition 2006


Table of Contents

Chapter One: This Is Why I Don't Play Rugby....................Page 1
Chapter Two: Another Reason I Don't Play Rugby.............Page 2

Page 1-----------------------This Is Why I Don't Play Rugby

Chapter One

Here is the reason I don't play Rugby:

(from Philippe Lopez/AFP/Getty Images)
Page 2-----------------------This Is Why I Don't Play Rugby

Chapter 2

Here is another reason I don't play Rugby:

Page 3-----------------------This Is Why I Don't Play Rugby

Rugby, Here is another reason why I don't play, page 2.
Rugby, Here is the reason I don't play, page 1.

Page 4-----------------------This Is Why I Don't Play Rugby

I would like to thank Fox Sports for their photos.

The End.


  1. Is pulling down your opponents shorts result in a penalty or is that just part of the game? Other than that remark, I'm pretty much speechless.

  2. Good question. From what I understand about Rugby, there is nothing that results in a penalty, hence this is just part of the game.

    Since you are a hockey expert, how about that sport's rules? Is there a de-pantsing penalty, and how many minutes does one get?

  3. Okay dear, I am reacting just as you knew I would! You got a rise out of me as always when I see someone's flesh I don't want to see! :)

    TK, I am speechless right along with you! There should be a penalty for these "little" maneuvers!!

  4. I don't know....IF i had an ass like that I MIGHT play Rugby!


    Jest kidding....my Bees-Knees wouldn't let me.

  5. *snicker!*

    You write very convincingly! A brief yet enjoyable read. ;-)

  6. I looked up Bees-Knees in a pathology book. It ain't there. What is this affliction?

  7. "A brief yet enjoyable read."

    I write that way because that's how long my own attention span is.

  8. Scottius Maximus asks: "Since you are a hockey expert, how about that sport's rules? Is there a de-pantsing penalty, and how many minutes does one get?"

    Funny you should ask because there is a little trick hockey players use to de-pants an opponent. As far as I know there is no penalty for it yet. It may be just a design flaw, but there is a place on the back of the breezers, a button or snap, that can be pressed with a hockey stick and...voila...breezers come down! Of course, any smart hockey player is not naked under those breezers (severe hazard). I'll have to ask my son if you can still do that...it may just have been a design flaw in breezers made a couple of years ago.

  9. HA! I knew it. Your children need to keep hockey blogs to let the rest of us in on such secrets of the trade.

  10. Bees-Knees: A Common Aliment:

    Patello-femoral pain syndrome is characterised by pain felt behind the kneecap. Squatting, walking up and down hills or stairs, or sitting still for extended periods of time can exacerbate the pain. The usual cause is abnormal movement of the kneecap as the knee is bent and straightened, and this can lead to wear and tear of the cartilage on the back of the kneecap. Imbalances in muscle strength, tight muscles, and structural abnormalities of the lower limb can contribute to the problem. The pain usually comes on gradually over time.