If you're from Illinois, Paul Simon means this guy.
If you're from anywhere else, he means this guy, although around here we often call him Al.
Senator Simon was the son of a Lutheran pastor who lived in southern Illinois, which I firmly believe should be our 51st state. He lived in or near Makanda; I'm not sure which is accurate.
When I, and later Lucy, lived in Carbondale in the 1980s, he would attend Our Savior Lutheran Church when home from Washington D.C. The church also served as the Lutheran Student Center at SIU, one of my alma maters.
Like a regular guy, he'd drive up in his car Sunday morning, attend service, and then drive home, often waving as I would arrive late for Bible Class. Seemingly not a pretentious bone in his body. How an LCMS Lutheran had such liberal political ideas is beyond me, but I never saw anything that made me doubt his faith.
Now, there's no other way to say this, so I'm just going to put it out there. He had the biggest ears I ever saw.
Which brings me to what I heard today about Barack Hussein Obama, president-elect of the United States. He has big ears also (it must be the corn they grow here). Only Obama is apparently very sensitive about his humongoid ears. Evidently he has taken offense to someone named Maureen Dowd for commenting about them.
Overheard by a stray microphone, Obama told Ms. Dowd he was putting her "on notice" for her comments. He was evidently "teased" about his ears as a child.
On notice? What the heck does that mean? What is he, the Senate Principal? I've haven't heard that line since high school. On notice? This man wants to be our president? Ooops, I mean, this man is going to be our president?
This is just the kind of man we need in these tough times. A man so thin skinned about his physical appearance that to mention a flaw puts one "on notice".
Is this what we can look forward to when President-elect Obama takes office? Will he put Kim Jong Il on notice? How about that wacko Iranian President?
Nothing strikes fear in the heart than being "on notice". That is one spine-tingling threat. Will Ms. Dowd recover?
I'm sorry, Mr. Obama, but JUST LOOK at Mr. Simon's ears. What are YOU whining about? Your head COULDN'T HOLD Mr. Simon's ears.
But, to get to the point of and to end another almost-yet-not-quite-incoherent post, I would like to say a few words about the "other" Paul Simon.
The first music I ever purchased with my own money was in early 1980. The album was "Simon And Garfunkel's Greatest Hits." I had bought sports related albums and tapes in my life, but never music.
So here's to that album. And I'd be interested to hear from others- what was the first music you ever purchased?