Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Pride And Prejudice- A Man's Review

My most excellent wife went with me to rent movies Friday night. I picked out "Guarding Tess". And "The Best Of Chris Farley" (which I had wanted to see for some time). She must have been thinking along those same lines, because she picked out "Pride and Prejudice", a 2 CD movie lasting 4 or 5 hours.

I had never seen the movies. Nor read that book ("Pride and Prejudice", not "The Best of Chris Farley". But you probably knew that). Still, that didn't stop me. I did my duty and watched it.

And, I must say, it was quite an entertaining movie. Although I wouldn't classify it as a comedy, it had plenty of fun moments. There were parts I didn't understand, and the English was sometimes over my head, but all in all I believe I got the gist of the movie.

So, here are my impressions and thoughts scattered amongst the things I learned, which should serve as a guide to other men who watch:

1. Jane Austen is an 18th century author who wrote the book. She was by no means ever married to Steve Austin, The Six Million Dollar Man.

2. That Mr. Collins fellow seemed like a good fella and nice catch to me. Unless you're stuck up. Right ladies?

3. What the heck happened to that Mary chick in her childhood that messed her up so?

4. What was with the Elvis sideburns everyone wore? Is this going to come back as a fashion trend? And I didn't see one beard.

5. For these people to be living a couple hundred years ago, and English no less, their teeth sure were pretty.

6. If I were producing it, I would have made the father the protagonist and revolved everything around his point of view. He had some laugh out loud lines. Would have made an even better movie.

7. I kept waiting for something to blow up, someone to be shot, or for there to be a murder. Never happened.

8. Good thing Lady Catherine De Bourgh was rich. 'Cause she sure was ugly.

9. I don't quite understand what Mr. Wickham did to Mr. Darcy and his sister. I'm confused.

10. In today's world, Mrs. Bennett would have been on Prozac and Xanax. And for this reason alone she was born 200 years too soon.

11. Women sure showed a lot of their chest-ical areas in those days.

12. I found out through a little research that those two younger sisters were the inspiration for the song "Dizzy" by Tommy Roe.

13. Not to spoil the ending or anything, but Miss Elizabeth (saying that reminds me of the WWF) marries Mr. Darcy, meaning the rest of her life will undoubtedly be spent with very little conversation and in a vast, humorless wasteland. But she's got the bucks. So that's not a nice message. Meanwhile, her sister seemed to make out much better with a pretty congenial chap. Not as rich mind you, but he does know how to smile, and, I dare say, crack a joke once or twice.

All in all I have to say it was the most entertaining movie I have seen in years. I'm going back Friday to look for the sequel. Anyone know what it's called?


  1. I've not seen Pride and Prejudice, although I know I "should". I've seen the Chris Farley DVD more times than I wish I had. When I watch my hubby, my son AND my daughter (a clone of her father) rolling on the floor in laughter EVERY SINGLE TIME they watch Chris Farley, I experience a strange mixture of humor and disgust. My favorites are the skating skit and the Chippendale dancers skit. My husband and our PASTOR do an embarrassing duo of Chris Farley as the guy who lives in a van down by the river, leaving his wife and I mortified at church. Why do they think that is funny? That reminds haven't done one of your random thought quizzes in a while.

  2. Sorry. I'm sure my description, being filled with such amazingly intricate detail, has ruined it for you.

    A random thought quiz would be a great idea, if I wasn't stuck trying to write my superhero theme song. I have the music set, it's the lyrics that aren't coming along.

  3. Sorry, I forgot! I'll let you be. I know that once you are in the lair, "under Stan Lee’s watchful eye", you'll have lots of time for random thoughts.