Random Thoughts On A Nice Autumn Day

Why don't we have chicken flavored hot dogs? Americans love chicken, and they love hot dogs. I mean, it's not like I'm calling for chicken flavored gum.

Since no one has thought of this before, I'm going to step up to the plate. In the spirit of the Taco Salad, I am proposing the Hamburger Salad. You grill some hamburger, cut it up, put ketchup, mustard, dill pickle chips, sliced lettuce, sliced onion and torn bread on top, and voila, a Hamburger Salad. Add cheese, if you wish, for the Cheeseburger Salad. Admit it, it sounds pretty tasty.

How long 'til TV cabledom presents us with "The Elvis Channel- All Elvis, All The Time?"

For the older women- could you really make things in the Easy Bake Oven that were actually edible, or was it all pretend?

For the older men- did anyone else begin to question which side of the street the action doll Big Jim walked on when Mattel started to make his buddies, Big Josh and Big Jack?

I know who Bachman is. And I know Turner also. But who's Overdrive?

Apple juice, grape juice, prune juice, cranberry juice, grapefruit juice, lemon juice, and orange juice. So where are the watermelon, strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry juices?

Want proof God exists? Bread. 'Cause no one could have figured out how to make this without His help. It's not like there were large laboratories to test all this stuff. What are the odds of cavemen randomly taking the right ingredients and mixing them together and coming up with something edible? Left to his own devices, man would have made bread out of twigs, mushrooms, and oak leaves. And no matter how you slice it, with those ingredients bologna sandwiches would not be the same.

Would we have to brush our teeth if someone invented plastic teeth guards to use while eating? I'm sure we'd still need mouth wash, but hey, I could use the extra 10 minutes a day.

If hospitals had friendlier sounding names, would people not be as afraid of them? I mean, if you go into a hospital named "Memorial", doesn't that psychologically affect a person adversely? So how about "Uncle Kenny's Medical Center", "Alice's Hospital", or "St. Bob's"?

But an even bigger question is this: could a hospital named Uncle Kenny's get accredited?

Can airplanes really fly? Think about it. Maybe we just imagine we're flying. How can something weighing many tons get off the ground?

Why aren't cars made of rubber? Collisions would be much less dangerous.

When I look at some of the people who can vote, sometimes "benevolent dictatorship" looks better.

Anybody heard the new "Real Men of Genius" Bud Light baseball themed commercials, made just in time for the playoffs? Absolutely hilarious. Mr. Overzealous Foul Ball Catcher and Mr. Ceremonial First Pitch Thrower Outer. I start to laugh now whenever I hear that familiar drum intro.

Two wins down. Nine to go.

I Left My Rods And Cones In Miami, Florida

Miami Dolphins.

If someone were to come up to you on the street where you live and asked you to wear an aqua colored shirt with orange trim, most, if not all of you, would recoil in horror. At least the men would. But if the same situation occurred in Miami, or another tropical environment, you might think again about it. And I can't believe I'm saying it, but I think this uniform would be one of the top crazes, if it weren't for some awful alterations made from time to time during the season.

Helmet design-
On the strength of the football-helmet-wearing dolphin alone, this is a definite winner. I can give or take the stripes, which in general I usually dislike. But it doesn't busy up the helmet too much. It may be a little to wide down the middle, but that's okay here. The aqua colored cage is cool.
Score: +2

Color scheme:
Because of the simple fact this team is from Miami, this scheme of aqua, orange, and white works for me. It's simple, although bright. There is a little black emboldening of the stripes and the numbers, but that is well done. Because usually the color orange is kept to a minimum, I think these colors are attractive selections. White is almost always good on anything except yellow. This offering is tastefully done on the basic home and away versions. But heaven help us when they break out the alternative uniforms as noted and pictured at the bottom.
Score: +1

Jersey:

The traditional "home uniform" jersey above is solid. I put "home uniform" in quotes because these days Miami doesn't really have a home uniform. They wear any combination of anything, a la the 1970s Pittsburgh Pirates and Oakland A's. I like the white numbers with orange trim. I don't care for the shoulder pad numbers. But I like the little dolphin guy on the sleeves.

The traditional "away uniform" jersey is quite attractive also. Again I don't care for the shoulder pad numbers, but I like the V-neck with aqua trim. The numbers have a 3D look with the black embellishment.

I don't know what to say about the orange alternate jersey. Those of you who remember my rant against the University of Illinois orange basketball uniforms will already have guessed I hate it. Fortunately we've only been subjected to it once or twice. So I will hold off judgment on this jersey until we get to the overall effect, and therefore not penalize the Dolphins twice for this version's ugliness.

Score:
Traditional home- +1
Traditional away- +1
For all you math majors, that averages to a +1.

Leg wear:
I love the white pants with central orange striping pictured above. The black, white, and aqua trim is plain Goldilocks- it's just right. The socks rule. A nice long aqua with white base. Lose the orange on some of the shoes, though. I had a rubber Bozo toy as a small child that had shoes like these orange jobs. Only difference was those clown shoes were size 35 EEE. Hard to run through holes and scramble with shoes that size.


I'm neutral on the aqua pants. I dislike the boldness of the white striping. And notice the directional clashivity of the horizontal stripe on the sock with the vertical stripe on the pants. I like it matched up with the white jersey, though. But we'll get to the overall effect next.

Compared to the orange socks on the alternate uniform, the aqua number's a masterpiece.

Score:
White pants/aqua socks- +2
Aqua pants- 0
Averages to +1.


Overall effect:
In this particular section of the universe of football fashion, the possibilities are endless for mixing and matching. Here's the matchups:
Aqua jersey and white pants- rules the roost. A +2.
White jersey and white pants- runner up. A +1.
White jersey and aqua pants- it's okay, but why bother. A 0.
Aqua jersey and aqua pants- Something an 80 something Miamian might wear. Getting close to the loser label. A -1.


But the eternal question remains. What possesses teams to do this:


Orange jersey- the very defintion of Gollum ugly. A -2.

How do your eyes feel looking at this? Not good, eh?

Score:
In summary, because of the variations, the Miami uniform taken as a whole is a big fat 0.

Historical factor:
I love the traditional Miami uniform. They do need to stop the mixing it up. And they have had the sense to leave the helmet alone except for minor variations, which to me is worth one bonus point.

Summary:
HD- +2
CS- +1
J- +1
LW- +1
OE- 0
HF- +1

TOTAL DOLPHINS SCORE: +6.

Up next? The New York Jets.

Well, Our Hummingbirds...

Have loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly. We'll hopefully see them again next spring. In May most likely.

As You Read My Blog This Month...

Just remember this, if I screw up more than usual. I'm not sleeping well, my stomach is in knots, the back of my neck is as stiff as an old oak tree trunk, and I'm probably pacing the floor as we speak.

Because it is October. Which means it is time for the MLB playoffs. The season is past. None of it matters now. You just gotta win, baby.

So far, so good. Yesterday's 8-5 win was a good start. It relaxed me for about 12 hours. Now I'm already thinking of tomorrow's game.

I'm nervous due to the expectation of winning. I know I should just enjoy this experience. But it is conceivable that tomorrow's mid-afternoon game could be the last game at Busch Stadium. It will definitely be the last day game.

Eleven wins are necessary to win the title. It's much harder to do than it was 12 years ago. But we already have one win. Only ten to go.

Excelsior.

These Guys Are Good

The New England Patriots.

It's like this. The haves have, and the have-nots have not. Life isn't fair. But if you believe Bill Murray in Meatballs:


"IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER."

There are always people who have it all. Brains, brawn, good looks, and money. But:

"IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER."

The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. But just keep saying it to yourself:

"IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER."

Do I have a point? Well, not usually, but let me segue into...

NFL Runway...AFC East! Up now are the New England Patriots.

What does the above have to do with NFL fashion? Well, be patient.

The New England Patriots are the two-time defending Super Bowl champions. In fact, they are even better than that. They have won 3 of the last 4 Super Bowls. And they are a top contender to win again this year. They are the best the NFL has to offer.

Which sort of makes it unfair that they have such a good-looking uniform. I have very little to pick at with this outfit.

Not only are the Patriots the best team on the field, they are most likely going to be better looking while they are dismantling your favorite team.

But remember...

"IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER."

Helmet design:
No stripes. That immediately makes me like it. A patriotic (no pun intended) Minuteman dude on the side. A sharp red cage contrasts the silver helmet beautifully.


Not much else to say here.

Score: +2

Color scheme:
No American will deny the beauty of red, white, and blue. The metallic silver blends in well, I believe. And the color blue is a dark, rich shade. It is the dominant color of the basic trio. And whether on televsion or still photos- it takes a pretty picture.

Score: +2

Jersey:
On the home jersey, seen below, the only disparaging thing I can come up with is I don't like the numbers over the shoulder pads. Just a minor detail. I love the stripe at the top of the sleeve and patriot man on the sleeve. There's a nice red trim to the silver numbers.

The away jersey below has a more major flaw, but I love the basic white with the blue numbers with red border, as well as the blue sleeve stripe and patriot dude on the sleeve. I don't like the shoulder pad numbers. And I really dislike that side stripe from the waist to the armpit. It is totally unnecessary.

Score:
Home jersey- +1
Away jersey- 0
Average- +0.5

Leg wear:
The home wear below is quite appealing. A silver with blue side stripe, followed by a long blue sock ending in white, with white shoes. I don't mind the white shoes on this number.

The away version below starts out well. I love the color of the pants. The stripe is slightly busy but not enough to detract from that rich blue. A solid white sock would be better than what we have here. That stripe horizontally across the sock is totally uncalled for. It gives the dreaded "directional clashivity" with the vertical pants stripe, which doesn't belong on such an otherwise nice outfit.

Score:
Home version- +2
Away version- +1
Average- +1.5

Overall effect:
The home uniform is classic. The away uniform has some flaws, but enough strengths to keep it reasonably attractive.

Score:
Home- +2
Away- +1
Average- +1.5

Historical factor:
The Patriots have to be applauded for moving away from that hideous uniform they used to have. They had some freak red that was not really that red, with some white and very little blue. And that helmet- yuck. White with a full size Minuteman bending over (yes, bending over) a football.

Score: +1

Summary:
Helmet design- +2
Color scheme- +2
Jersey- +0.5
Leg wear- +1.5
Overall effect- +1.5
Historical factor- +1

TOTAL PATRIOTS SCORE: +8.5

Yes, it's true. Some do have it all. And you have...



"JACK SQUAT", as the immortal Chris Farley (as Matt Foley) would say.

So as the Eagles (the band, not the NFL team) might say: "Get Over It."

Up next: Miami Dolphins.

If Only I Were To Have Child-like Faith Like This

This is very humbling. From Reclaim News' Pastor Jack Cascione.

"Small Children Can Minister to Adults


Life is full of surprises, some far better than we expected and others a lot worse than we expected.

Driving about 40 miles to Children's Hospital from Mayville, Wisconsin, on Thursday morning, September 15, to see our critically ill two year old grandson Mark, was one of those worse than expected times.

Ginger was in the front seat with me and my mother-in-law was in the back seat next 4 year old Alaina strapped into her booster seat.

We talked about Mark's critical condition, his yet undiagnosed disease, continued decline, and possible death, in guarded terms for Alaina's sake.

It was a somber ride, and we promised each other to be strong in front of our daughter Faye, who was with Mark.

Halfway there, Alaina announced that Mark was in the hospital and that God was taking care of him.

She likes to make up songs that don't really rhyme.  She started making up a song about Mark getting better and God watching over him.  My wife and I were so focused on the words we can't remember the familiar tune she used.

Then she broke into a familiar hymn that she knew and sang all four verses for us.  It is called "Children of the Heavenly Father."

"Children of the heavenly Father
Safely in His bosom gather;
Nestling bird nor star in heaven;
Such a refuge e'er was given.

God His own doth tend and nourish;
In His holy courts they flourish.
>From all evil things He spares them,
In His mighty arms He bears them.

Neither life nor death shall ever
>From the Lord His children sever;
Unto them His grace He showeth,
And their sorrows all He knoweth.

Tho' He giveth or He taketh,
God His children ne'er forsaketh.
His the loving purpose solely
To preserve them pure and holy."

We all sat silently through this spontaneous rendition from the back seat.

It was hard to drive.

Small children aren't able to comprehend and react to all the emotions of life threatening diseases and possible death.  They have a simple faith that hopes and trusts and waits for God's reply.

However, the Bible tells us that every baptized Christian is a priest of God.
1 Peter 2:9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:

Therefore, in their own way, all Christians are capable of prayer and ministering to others in Christ's name.

She doesn't hold the pastoral office, but Alaina will never really know how much her words ministered to all of us in the car on the way to the hospital.

All of this underscores the importance of teaching children from earliest youth to memorize songs and words about Jesus.

They need to be equipped for their ministry just like every adult.

When we arrived at the hospital, I watched my wife lean over the steel crib in the pediatric intensive care room, and whisper to Mark, "Jesus loves you." 

With tubes in his nose, his eyes swollen shut, a dozen sensors attached to his body, and a half a dozen intravenous bags hanging around him, he nodded his head in agreement. A little later he responded that same way to my mother.

We thank God for Mark's recovery and return home two weeks later.

-----------------------------------------------------------
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List owner and Reclaim News editor, Rev. Jack Cascione can be reached at
pastorcascione@juno.com

Also participate in www.Lutherquest.org for discussion.

Also view www.reclaimingwalther.org for papers, articles, & previous
releases."

I've Decided...

To be controversial tonight. And not by denouncing the Buffalo Bills uniform.

So what do you think of this? Thanks to Snopes.com and Michael Williams.

"Moral poverty cost blacks in New Orleans

By Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson

Guest Commentary » September 30, 2005

Say a hurricane is about to destroy the city you live in. Two questions:

1. What would you do?
2. What would you do if you were black?

Sadly, the two questions don’t have the same answer.

To the first: Most of us would take our families out of that city quickly to protect them from danger. Then, able-bodied men would return to help others in need, as wives and others cared for children, elderly, infirm and the like.

For better or worse, Hurricane Katrina has told us the answer to the second question. If you’re black and a hurricane is about to destroy your city, then you’ll probably wait for the government to save you.

This was not always the case. Prior to 40 years ago, such a pathetic performance by the black community in a time of crisis would have been inconceivable. The first response would have come from black men. They would take care of their families, bring them to safety, and then help the rest of the community. Then local government would come in.

No longer. When 75 percent of New Orleans residents had left the city, it was primarily immoral, welfare-pampered blacks that stayed behind and waited for the government to bail them out. This, as we know, did not turn out good results.

Enter Jesse Jackson and Louis Farrakhan. Jackson and Farrakhan laid blame on “racist” President Bush. Farrakhan actually proposed the idea that the government blew up a levee so as to kill blacks and save whites. The two demanded massive governmental spending to rebuild New Orleans, above and beyond the federal government’s proposed $60 billion. Not only that, these two were positioning themselves as the gatekeepers to supervise the dispersion of funds. Perfect: Two of the most dishonest elite blacks in America, “overseeing” billions of dollars. I wonder where that money will end up.

Of course, if these two were really serious about laying blame on government, they should blame the local one. Responsibility to perform – legally and practically – fell first on the mayor of New Orleans. We are now all familiar with Mayor Ray Nagin – the black Democrat who likes to yell at President Bush for failing to do Nagin’s job. The facts, unfortunately, do not support Nagin’s wailing. As the Washington Times puts it, “recent reports show [Nagin] failed to follow through on his own city’s emergency-response plan, which acknowledged that thousands of the city’s poorest residents would have no way to evacuate the city.”

One wonders how there was “no way” for these people to evacuate the city. We have photographic evidence telling us otherwise. You’ve probably seen it by now – the photo showing 200 parked school buses, unused and underwater. How much planning does it require to put people on a bus and leave town, Mayor Nagin?

Instead of doing the obvious, Mayor Nagin (with no positive contribution from Democratic Gov. Kathleen Blanco, the other major leader vested with responsibility to address the hurricane disaster) loaded remaining New Orleans residents into the Superdome and the city’s convention center. We know how that plan turned out.

About five years ago, in a debate before the National Association of Black Journalists, I stated that if whites were to just leave the United States and let blacks run the country, they would turn America into a ghetto within 10 years. The audience, shall we say, disagreed with me strongly. Now I have to disagree with me. I gave blacks too much credit. It took a mere three days for blacks to turn the Superdome and the convention center into ghettos, rampant with theft, rape and murder.

President Bush is not to blame for the rampant immorality of blacks. Had New Orleans’ black community taken action, most would have been out of harm’s way. But most were too lazy, immoral and trifling to do anything productive for themselves.

All Americans must tell blacks this truth. It was blacks’ moral poverty – not their material poverty – that cost them dearly in New Orleans. Farrakhan, Jackson, and other race hustlers are to be repudiated – they will only perpetuate this problem by stirring up hatred and applauding moral corruption. New Orleans, to the extent it is to be rebuilt, should be remade into a dependency-free, morally strong city where corruption is opposed and success is applauded. Blacks are obligated to help themselves and not depend on the government to care for them. We are all obligated to tell them so.

The Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson is founder and president of BOND, the Brotherhood Organization of A New Destiny, and author of “Scam: How the Black Leadership Exploits Black America.”"

Week 4 NFL Picks

Last week was a disappointing 8-6, leaving me at 26-20 for the year.

Cincinnati
Indianapolis
Washington
Tampa Bay
Jacksonville
New England
Buffalo
Giants
Baltimore
Atlanta
Kansas City
Oakland
Arizona
Carolina- Monday

Fashion Police Alert

Okay, boys and girls- are you ready to have some fun?


"Are you just saying that, or are you really ready to have some fun?"

Okay, then hold on tight and strap yourself in if you're easily moved, because this might just bring tears to the eyes.

Presenting...NFL RUNWAY: AFC East.

And first up are the...

BUFFALO BILLS-
Let me say right off the bat: I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT! I held off on making this post a couple of times, because the Bills appeared to have changed their uniform and gotten rid of their hideous creation from the recent Super Bowl years. It screams of the worst fashion ideas from the 1980s and 1990s. So imagine my excitement when in the first two weeks they went retro and brought back the old-time uniforms. But in the back of my mind I kept thinking they would revert back to last years uniform, which they did Sunday. Which begs the question WHY??!!

(Or, as Floyd R. Turbo would say, "This raises the question, kiss my chinstrap!")

So, I have to include both uniforms in this year's evaluation.

Helmet Design:

Someone sat down and thought to themselves the following question:
How many colors can I get on one helmet, and how many different ways can I put them?

Let's see...we have a red, white, light blue, and a darker, navy-like blue. Or is it black? I can't tell. And the colors are everywhere on this helmet.

Here is my number one tip to all you budding NFL fashion designers out there- KISS (that means keep is simple, stupid...lest you think something about else about me).

This helmet could be excellent. Because I love the buffalo decal. But the stripes (which as you'll remember I'm not a big fan of) do this puppy in. I think there are seven of them down the middle, starting with the outer bold white, the skinny light blue, the skinny white, and the bold dark center stripe.

Seven stripes? In the middle of a helmet? Are you kidding me?

There is way too much contrasting going on. I can get with the white cage. But I think what they tried to do is put a white border around all the color changes, hence, all of the stripes. WAY TOO BUSY.

And the buffalo decal has all the contrast and color also. With a stripe. It doesn't work.

Which is why I love the old school helmet they brought out in weeks one and two. A simple white with a red stripe bordered with blue and a red buffalo. That's it. I love the buffalo decal. The gray cage does take away slightly from the overall helmet effect, but it is definitely out of the 1970s.

Helmet design score:
Retro helmet- +1
Modern helmet- -1
Overall- 0 (average of the two)

Color scheme-
As discussed above, the modern color scheme belongs more on a Ukranian circus clown rather than an NFL player. Red, white, light blue, dark blue, and...is that gray? It's not simple, and it's not well matched. It's one saving grace? At least they didn't add yellow.

Note to the Bills:
Pick a color and go with it.

The retro uniform is a simple red, white, and blue. The blue is a lighter shade and much more attractive than on the modern version.

Color scheme score:
Retro- +2
Modern- -1
Overall- +0.5 (average of the two)

Jersey:
Again, we have to break this down way too much more than we should have to do. We've got home and away options in modern design, and a home option in the retro.

The modern home version jersey, taken just by itself and seen in the above photo, is just fine. It's the only thing on this uniform that is simple. A solid dark blue number with white numbers having a gray border. And I am a fan of the upper arm numbers rather than the shoulder pad numbers. But notice the little details that some ADHD designer decided to add. A V-neck red collar and faint lighter blue skinny shoulder stripe. Question: if I'm sitting in Rich Stadium, whether on the field or high above the field, can I see these little details? Of course not. We can barely see them in these up close photos. So what's the point?

The modern away jersey screams of someone with too much time on their hands. They took just enough time to ruin it. Check it out:

Wow. That's one ugly representative in this contest. A block of blue across the shoulders? A red lateral stripe from the armpit to the waist? The red border of the block? Huh? Pajamas- yes. NFL uniform- no.


The retro jersey puts these to shame, which again makes me wonder why they didn't stick with this after the first two weeks. First of all, the blue color they picked is much more attractive. The stripes on the sleeve are just a tad busy, but don't clash with the rest of it. I'm not a fan of the shoulder pad numbers cluttering it up, but overall this is a vast improvement.

Jersey score:
Modern home: 0
Modern away: -2
Retro home: +1
Overall: -0.3. (average of above)


Leg wear:
Again we have to go through 3 versions to get at the overall truth.

The modern home version below the waist and pictured above is ugly. Period. Pants with a dark blue base, lateral central bold red stripe bordered by white bordered by gray? This is cool- if you're on mushrooms. And the bright red long socks bring to mind only two words: Pippi Longstocking.

The modern away version above is different. At least there are only 3 colors. But the directions of the stripes all seem to clash. I call this "directional clashivity." Notice the vertical red stripe with blue border of the pants abruptly ending in a solid red block at the top of the sock, followed by a thin horizontal blue stripe, followed by a block of white, and ending in the diagonal stripedness of the shoes.

The retro version rocks. A shiny white pant sporting a racy looking thin blue stripe with red border. Then there is a thin block of light blue sock matching the stripe, with a solid white stretching to black shoes. I've always been partial to black shoes on a football uniform. And if you want that real retro look, you gotta have the black shoes.

Leg wear score:
Modern home- -2.
Modern away- -1.
Retro- +2.
Overall: -0.3 (average of above)

Overall Effect:
The modern home version has the overall effect of Hurricane Rita on Gulf oil rigs- a disaster.

The modern away version reminds me of the flannel pajamas I used to get as a Christmas present from my grandma every year. Good for sleeping, bad for football.

The retro model is as sweet as that guy Fabian (on Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive) is a total wuss.

Overall effect score:
Modern home- -2
Modern away- -2
Retro home- +1.
Overall- -1 (average).

Historical factor:
I love the retro uniform. Why they ever went away from it is beyond me. Still I give them a bonus point for having the sense to break it out again this year.
Historical factor score: +1

Summary
Helmet design- 0
Color scheme- +0.5
Jersey- -0.3
Leg wear- -0.3
Overall effect- -1
Historical factor- +1

TOTAL SCORE -0.1

Up next: New England Patriots.

I Think My Blogger Needs A Drink

We're experiencing wild technical difficulties. Entire posts that were published are disappearing. Drafts are vanishing, only to reappear a couple days later. I'm totally confused. HELP!

Okay Kids, Let's Play "Did You Know?"

Did you know music industry legend Paul Anka has a new CD?

Did you know his new CD changes classic rock songs to swing?

Did you know it's called Rock Swings?

Did you know that he covers songs like "Jump" by Van Halen, "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana, "Eyes Without a Face" by Billy Idol, and "Eye of the Tiger" from Rocky III by Survivor, only in a swing format?

Did you know that you could listen to samples of this CD by clicking here?

Did you know that this IS NOT a joke?

Did you know these songs are hysterical?

Did you know that if you read this interview with Paul Anka, you'll discover he actually believes he has improved some of these songs? (Kids, let's keep it quiet, raucous laughter is not appropriate in the game Did You Know?)

Did you know all of these classic songs now sound basically the same?

Did you know you could blend each song seamlessly into the other, creating one long continuous song that just could be the longest in the history of the world?

Did you know there is a Saturday Night Live skit from the 1980s starring Joe Piscopo in which he plays Frank Sinatra doing basically the same thing Paul Anka does here, only to the song "Under My Thumb" by the Rolling Stones?

Did you know that skit was supposed to be very funny, and it was?

Did you know this CD wasn't supposed to be funny, and it is?

Did you know the Five Neat Guys are thinking of making a comeback due to this CD?

Did you know if you get the hiccups from laughing so hard listening to these songs, you can cure them by drinking water out of the opposite side of the glass?

Did you know Paul Anka is far more talented than I am?

Did you know the real tragedy in this is that the legendary Mr. Anka is reduced to this?

Did you know no one probably had the guts to say to the great Mr. Anka, "Bad idea boss?"

Did you know that if the swing version of "Jump" plays in your head all day today because of this, you can get it out of there by singing "The Wheels of the Bus Go 'Round and 'Round"?

Did you know I could be this annoying by writing in question form?

Did you know I'm tired of writing in question form?

Did you know this is the last question?

NFL Picks Week 3

After last week's 10-6, I stand 18-14 for the year.

Chicago
Buffalo
Indianapolis
Green Bay
Jets
Philadelphia
St. Louis
Miami
Minnesota
Seattle
Dallas
Pittsburgh
San Diego
Kansas City- Monday

Cosa?

You Are Italian Food

Comforting yet overwhelming. People love you, but sometimes you're just too much.

What Kind of Food Are You?

This Must Be The Weekend For Wasting Time

This is even better than the previous post's game. See how many crumpled pieces of paper you can shoot into the garbage can in a row. Make sure to factor in the wind speed!

"I heartily endorse this game!"

And Now, Something Completely Useless And Inane

Try this out.

Thanks to the great Caffeine & Irony for introducing me to what has turned into hours, and what could become days, of fun. As far as you know, I'm playing right now.

And it looks like I'm not alone:



"This game is awesome, baby."

New Poll- Vote Now!

Picture is courtesy of Gizmodo.

Which is skinnier:

a) The bar holding up the monitor?
b) The bed post?
c) The flat screen?
d) The model chick?

Phone lines are open.

Here Are The Photos I Promised

(Sorry this took so long, but I've had trouble posting photos to Blogger lately. Anybody else have this happen?)

I've spent most of my life downplaying the role of emotion in life and espousing the virtue of thought and logic. But there is a time and a place for emotion. And that time and place for me was last Friday 9/9/05. We went to Busch Stadium for the last time.

We thankfully were able to get some farewell photos. We even got to go on the field and into the Cardinals dugout, which we had never done before. In two months the place you see in these photos will be turned to rubble, with the finishing touches of the new stadium to grow out of it. Sad, but true.

Forgive me if all this sounds shallow in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. I am aware many people lost everything they had. If you are not a Cardinals fan, I doubt you can understand what this place has meant to our lives, so before I get to the photos, I will post a few utterances I've found on the web.

The following excerpt from L Boros @ Viva El Birdos sums up my feelings perfectly. Although the details are not the same, the emotion certainly is:

"i saw my first game at busch stadium in 1968, at the age of five; i saw my last game there yesterday. sat with my dad in section 158, where our family sat throughout my childhood ---...

in addition to the 10 games a year in 158... between the ages of 6 and 26 i bet i was there 20 times a year; 400 days and nights. i came to know the place as intimately as i knew my own home; and indeed busch was a home to me growing up, a safe haven from the pressures and fears and portents of youth. i was a fearful kid, extremely unsure of myself and terrified of anybody finding that out; but at the ballpark my inhibitions melted away. i knew how to act and what to say, needed neither approval nor validation. diff'nt world, diff'nt set of rules --- ones that made some sense to me, that i understood and seemed able to live by naturally."

how do you say goodbye to that, and how do you say thanks? i didn't even try; just walked out of there after the last out like i would after any other game, as if the stadium weren't going away and would always be there. it always was there for me, at a time when i needed a place to go; and in my imagination so it always will be."

And this comment from his post helps me realize our feelings are shared by many:

"made it to Busch twice, once in 2000, when my mother gave me an early birthday present, and last September. Living in Virginia, it's not so easy to get there from here. That first time I walked into the stadium was like achieving the Holy Grail for me, and that's exactly what I told my brother-in-law when he asked me how it was. The sights, the sounds, the atmosphere were like nothing I had ever experienced before, and I felt like I was among friends, even though I knew none of the other people. We were all there because of one thing; our love, our passion for the Cardinals, and it felt right. I had hoped to get out there at least once this season, but alas, budgetary restrictions prevented me from doing it. My one regret is that I was never able to have gone with my dad, who passed away in 1978. He's the reason I'm a Cards fan, and for that, I will be eternally grateful. I did buy a brick paver with his name on it, so at least I can say he finally made it."

And this one, same thing:

"Similar story. I grew up a Cards fan in RI, thanks to my dad bringing me up that way. he passed away in '88, but I was able to get out to the stadium a couple years ago as a college graduation present. Glad that I made it out there. Was thinking of buying a brick too. I really enjoyed the few games that I saw there, and I must say that I was slightly disappointed at the design of the new stadium. I really love the arches that surround the top of the current stadium....and love the whold circular thing. Oh well....I'm sure when i am there for a game I will love it!"


Sorry if this bores you. I hope this doesn't seem like looking at someone's vacation pictures, which can be perfectly dreadful. So most of these are of the stadium and articles of interest to the general person. Although there are a couple of us primates thrown in.

Here we go, beginning at about 2 p.m. that Friday. It was a hazy, hot, but not unbearable day.

View from behind the LF visitor's bullpen in Homer's Landing, an eatin' place inside Busch, looking west.


Views from the CF Stadium Club looking north to homeplate. This club is unique in baseball in that it was the first club allowed in the batter's background. The reason is that the glass is tinted a black color, so that no one can see in. Don't even ask the price.



View from right field bleachers.


View from the current Busch Stadium concourses south to the new stadium.


View east from current Busch Stadium concourses to new right field scoreboard in the new stadium.


View looking southwest to homeplate area of new stadium from the old. Where we are standing taking this picture is right above where the new CF wall will be in the new stadium.


New field being constructed, view from Busch Jr.



Same look at field construction, with the street level sidewalk circling the current stadium in the foreground.


Back inside Busch, a view from the pressbox behind homeplate. The next box to the right is the KMOX box, where the mighty Mike Shannon broadcasts from.


View of left field side of Busch from pressbox.


Within the stadium itself are the Cardinals organization offices. In the lobby are jerseys from all eras. I took this picture because it is the only jersey, from 1956, in the past 80 years not to have the "birds on the bat" on the front. Due to a public outcry, it only lasted one year. It's actually not a bad looking uniform.


From the offices we were let down on the field. We are looking southward toward right center field. This was truly exciting. The ground was very gritty. It reminded me of the cinder tracks we used to run track on.


View down the left field line east toward the arch.


View from in front of the dugout south toward right center field.


Looking toward rightfield pole from the dugout in Tony LaRussa's usual spot.


Turning right from the above postion brings you further into the dugout where players practice their swings and the helmets and bats are kept. From here leads to the locker room.


Okay. So this is me. With the wife. You can see my son's reflection in back of us as he snaps the photo.


The great Son of Maximus. My reflection is behind him.


One of the guides was kind enough to snap a family photo. In the years to come, as Busch becomes more and more of a memory, I'm sure we'll cherish this one.


View from field up to the KMOX booth, where the Mighty Shannon does his thing.


The son hamming it up (where's he get that from?) in front of a 1962 Corvette in the Cardinals Museum and Hall of Fame. The Corvette is actually Mark McGwire's, given to him that famous night he hit home run number 62 in 1998. It has been donated by McGwire to the museum. In spite of what you may think of him, he really is a good guy.


A model of the old Sportsman's Park, where the Cardinals played until 1966. Its last years it was known as Busch Stadium. This is therefore the granddaddy of the Busch Stadium family.


This is the architect's model of the current (second) Busch Stadium.


From there my son and I went up to the top of the Arch to get some pictures. You can see how hazy it was that day. Here's Busch II and III side by side as we look out the western view windows.


Looking west into downtown St. Louis. The courthouse is seen in the foreground, and the beautiful Kiener Plaza behind it.


For all you Rams fans, here is the view looking northwest to the Edward Jones Dome.


Of course, I had to take a picture of Mike Shannon's Steaks and Seafood, across the street north from Kiener Plaza.


Kiener Plaza looking east to the courthouse and Arch, a block north of the current Busch.


We've now walked back south past the western side of the stadium to the western side of the new ballpark. The Color Guard can be seen outside the stadium preparing for the National Anthem on the left of the photo.


View looking east showing the southern edge of Busch II with the new ballpark built up to the point where it appears about ready to swallow it. Very Pac-man-esque.


This will be the main entrance to the new ballpark on the west side. The Eads Bridge construction theme can be easily seen here and in the design of the overhang to cover the seats.


Section 348 View- The best player in baseball is warming up just before the first pitch.


From Section 348- a view to the east, the left field half of Busch


View south (see the cranes of the new ballpark?) of the right field side of Busch II.


Play ball!


Had to get a picture of the mighty Pujols at the bat...


... and fielding a bunt.


In a fitting end to my era at Busch, Larry Walker came up with two out in the bottom of the eighth, with the game tied 2-2. After two ugly strike outs earlier in the game, Walker crushed a ball to the back of the Cardinals bullpen in right field. Here's Larry crossing the plate as we all went nuts. The crowd was building to a fever pitch as he went into the dugout, roaring for a curtain call. Nunez was the next batter, but instead of taking his time so Larry could get his curtain call, he gets right in the box and swings at the first pitch, making an out. But Larry played the drama right. All the other Cardinals exited the dugout before him as the Mets came to bat, then he finally popped out of it and jogged to right field as the place went nuts.


Marquis pitched a great game. Tony left him in at the start of the ninth inning, and let him leave the game before the first pitch so that he could also get a rousing ovation from the fans. Nicely done.

And here's the final scene from Busch after the last out. Cards Win!


And then it was over. As I left the stadium the crowd was overwhelming. Trying to fight our way back across the walkway to the West Stadium Parking Garage was difficult. I did not turn around to look back at the doomed stadium.

We were able to park our car on the 4th floor blue level, and my final look at Busch was through the grating of my parking space. As I pulled out I decided not to look again.

Farewell, my friend.