Another Lost Episode Of The Chris Farley Show

"Thanks...um...for being here again, Paul."

"You're welcome, Chris."

"Remember...remember those red...um...bouncy red ball thingies...um...ahh...red balls with the handles...what...that...were big and giant...remember those rubber...balls you'd sit on as a kid...and bounced around on?"

"Yeah, Chris. They were called Hoppity Hop Balls in America. Some people called them Space Hoppers, or Kangaroo Balls or just Hop Balls."

"YEAH! I KNEW YOU'D REMEMBER, PAUL! AWESOME!!!"

"What about them Chris?"

"Well...why...um...why does Cardinals announcer Mike Shannon sit on one in the Busch Stadium broadcast booth?"

A Few Of Us Don't Do This

This video makes me embarrassed to be a Cardinals fan (hanging head in shame).

What were the good folks at Busch Stadium thinking?

You want to hold a dance contest?

Fine, but next time don't sell adult beverages at that game.

Why not?

Exhibit A- Busch Stadium, beyond the centerfield area.




Busch Stadium Fan Battle - video powered by Metacafe


And before all the wiseacre comments begin, let's get one thing straight- NO, NEITHER ONE OF THESE DUDES IS ME.

Although I did once have a home-made Superman outfit. (Okay, and too-short shorts, too).

Quipper? You there? Here's two quick nominees for So Many Idiots, So Little Time.

Hat tip for the link to John Sebben.

Get Ready!

HGTV's "Design Star" is back on Sunday at 8 p.m. CDT.

They're starting a little early this summer. But that's okay. Hopefully that means more episodes.

The History Channel's "Ice Road Truckers" is also back. At the same time slot- Sunday at 8 p.m. CDT.

In the past such scheduling shenanigans would have put me through the roof, but thanks to the magic of DVR, I'll just watch one 'live' and then the other right behind it.

But which one should I watch live? How does one make such decisions?

I'm a little concerned about the quality of contestants on 'reality' shows after the first season or two. Just a hunch, but it seems the people that are picked in later seasons are picked to fit a particular niche-stereotype, rather than for who they are.

My two favorite summer series are back- watch out for more posts from me this summer.

It Changes Everything

'It' meaning where you come down on the age of the Earth.

I looked at today's Lutheran Tidbit of the Day in the sidebar-
"Luther said, 'Don't argue with the Devil...he has had five thousand years of experience. He has tried out all his tricks on Adam, Abraham, and David, and he knows exactly the weak spots.'"

Now, if Luther had lived in our day, would he have said the same thing? I hypothesize yes.

I have to believe he took scripture to literally mean what it says, unless the context is obviously a metaphor or prophecy. Meaning, if alive right now, he still wouldn't have problems writing 5000 years of experience.

That's right. I'm claiming Luther as a creationist.

Otherwise, if he weren't, he'd have to write:
'Don't argue with the Devil...he has had thousands (or millions or billions, who knows?) years of experience. He has tried out all his tricks on Adam, Abraham, and David, and he knows exactly the weak spots. He even may have tried his tricks out on Mr. Neanderthal and Rhodesian Man before that, and look what happened to them."

I'm sorry, I just don't see those sentences happening.

I just don't know what you do with anything and everything if the timeline in Genesis is not correct. I believe the whole thing starts to unravel.

I know what science says about the origins of life. And I can imagine what science would say about the Real Presence . But in either case, I don't think we have the option of Biblical unbelief.

CC: The President

Dear NASA:

When I read of the toileting troubles of the International Space Station, my thoughts could turn nowhere but to this problem, especially after it was mentioned again later on PTI's opening segment. I think it not random happenstance, but divine providence, that on the very day I learned of the current dilemma, I would learn about this via the Jim Rome Show.

Please take the time to equip all shuttles, and the space station, with the UroClub. Golf and space travel have a long association, dating back to the 1970s. Heck, Alan Shepherd might have had one of these on the moon when he was playing. So this is a natural fit. Although reportedly his was a 6-iron.

I am so happy to hear the "solid waste collector" is functioning properly. Otherwise I might have been up all night worrying about whether you were getting low and wearing helmets, as Tony Kornheiser pointed out.

Since a shuttle launch is scheduled soon, I thought you might want to order about a thousand of these things for the trip and keep them stored on board. This way, I don't ever have to read, hear, watch or otherwise be educated about space sewage. For the rest of my life

Don't ask me how such contingencies got overlooked after all these years. I'm just glad I was here to do my patriotic duty. But the next time I hear the words "Emergency Shuttle Launch", I'm not buying it if you claim that it's not toilet-related.

Oh, and don't forget to throw in a box of those "privacy shields."

You're welcome.

Sincerely,


Scottius Maximus
Spaceman

It Was Meant In A Good Way, Of Course

Am I THAT bad?!!!

This is great (read comment #2)! And even better, I got to be associated with Reclaim News and Pastor Cascione. I must be doing something right, although sometimes that is hard to see.

Maybe I should incorporate "nasty little beast" into my profile.

You Had Me At Hello

That's my favorite line, uttered by Charlie Steiner, from those great ESPN "This Is Sportscenter" commercials. I seem to recall it from someplace else, although I'm not sure about that. A little help?

At any rate, there are some songs that hook me right at the beginning, although not every song I love has a raucous start. In fact, some of my favorite songs start off slow before enmeshing you in a web of musicianship from which you cannot escape.

Along those lines, Led Zeppelin, usually who I consider my favorite band, is represented only four times on the following list. Yet, Guns N Roses, a band I don't consider myself to be a great fan of, has some very crafty song beginnings, and has 3 entries on my list. Weird. But alas, that is a subject for another post.

The songs I want to honor with this post are those songs that hook me from the instant I hear them. They don't necessarily have to end great, or even middle (?) great, although most do. Songs instantly recognizable, such that, unless there is some dire emergency, I'll stop to listen to whether I'm flipping the stations or just riding along in the car. Even if I only listen until the end of the song's beginning. That was a confusing sentence to write.

After a lot of thought, the following are what I believe to be the songs with the greatest beginnings. Notice a lot of these songs have strong guitar openings. Seems to be a theme for me.

I'm sure I've forgotten several, so let me know what I've omitted. And if I'm wrong about any of these, then argue your point in the comments.

My favorite song beginning? Number 10 on the playlist.

By the way, I've noticed some technical difficulties with this post. If you cannot see the player, click on "pop out player" and it will take you to the playing list.

Could It Be?

Is it possible?

That this is related to this?



"Easy Ange, I'll handle this one."

For Anyone Who Has A Blog

Warning- don't click the link until you read this post.

If you have a blog, and you are not offended by certain words (including a definite misuse of the Lord's name), you might want to watch this.

It aired Tuesday on Bob Costas' HBO program. This was a "round table" discussion of sports and sports blogs. Will Leitch, who posts on Deadspin, Buzz Bissinger, a traditional sportswriter, and Braylon Edwards, modern athlete, have a "discussion", supposedly "moderated" by Costas.

I don't have HBO, and the only reason I know about this is a local sports editor mentioned it as a guest on a local morning radio program Tuesday. He was promoting the Costas program, mostly because he and the host of that program don't like blogs. This definitely got my attention, because it sounded like potential fireworks in the making.

Although I've heard of it, I did not read Deadspin before the show aired. It's a little out there for me.

But listening to this Buzz guy, who wrote the Tony LaRussa book "Three Nights in August", by the way, made me get a little defensive. I'm a blogger, and I don't like seeing bloggers disparaged just because we're not professional writers or part of the main-stream media.

What an angry little man Bissinger appears to be. This guy totally comes unglued on national TV. He obviously does not see the irony in his speech and appearance on this show- that while trying to make bloggers out to be unprofessional, juvenile miscreants, he himself is acting like an unprofessional, foul-mouthed juvenile. Mr. Leitch ended up looking like the professional due to the real professional's(Bissinger's) behavior.

But this is what most journalists must think of bloggers. They just don't get it. It has happened time and again. True, there are bad people blogging, just as there are bad people who have radio programs, TV programs, and sadly, newspaper columns. But some of us do try to be careful about what we write, how we phrase a thought, how grammatically correct we are, and how well we spell.

I also love how Costas doesn't seem to be able to differentiate a "post" from a "comment".

I don't think these guys get it. How 'bout you? It looked less like a round table, and more like a set-up to "get Leitch", and therefore bloggers.

So if you have 18 minutes, take a look. But again, this is definitely not safe for work. Or if children are around. You've been warned.

Shout Outs

A couple o' posts
I want to link you up with.
Both written today?

Preachrboy writes on the National Day of Prayer at Preachrblog. I believe this event's purpose is for the pious and self-righteous to be seen and heard from. These folks should just go back home and do what should be done in secret.


Pastor Snyder posts on A Summary Of Doctrine and Practices at Ask The Pastor. Good Q&A for anyone interested in learning about Lutheran teaching and worship.


Thanks, men.


Now, can anyone solve the riddle of my lame haiku?

Only One Thing Left To Do

It's bad enough I have to put up with tornadoes and tree pollen in a Midwestern Spring. But if I now have to put up with this, too, then I might as well be loadin' up my truck and movin' to Beverly- or at least Californie.



"We-e-e-ll doggies!"

Ben Stein's Movie

I'd love to go see it, but I'd have to see where it is playing. It starts soon. Anyway, he and another of my favorites, RC Sproul, had a discussion about the issue and the movie. Thanks to Google Video.

My Favorite

I posted about this joke once before, but thought I'd post its actual performance. This is the best.

I Love To Verb Nouns

In other words, I like to take nouns and turn them into verbs. Don't look at me like I'm crazy. A lot of the words we use in English probably got their start this way. Such as 'phoning' someone.

But, in addition to using these like everyone else, I also like less acceptable ones.

Such as envelope. I don't turn that noun into a verb in the traditional sense. I use it to describe the process of putting a letter in an envelope. Such as 'I enveloped a stack of letters to mail today.' You can also say 'enveloping' or 'envelope' depending on what tense you are putting something in an envelope.

But my favorite has to be 'lightninging'. Probably because of the double 'ing' ending. If it's really stormy, and the lightning is flashing, that means it is really 'lightninging' out. Or you could say, in the past tense, that it 'lightninged' hard.

Any other good ones?

New Year's Day

I've always liked this U2 song, but I wrongly thought it to be an apocalyptic song. I don't know why, maybe it's the video that accompanied it (probably my all-time favorite), or maybe the lyrics, but every time I listen to it, eschatological images come to my mind.

Rush Is Back

This time I'm not talking about Canadian rockers.


"Thanks for the post...wait a minute...WHAT?!!!"

I'm talking about Rush Limbaugh. I go through phases where I think he is past his prime. And then he gets on something and the hilarity ensues.

Witness Operation Chaos. About as entertainingly fine as a radio program can get. The whole set up, from the commercial bumper's echoing announcement of "OPERATION CHAOS", to Rush himself constantly mentioning it, is comedic genius.

The melt-downish reactions he's getting from the Democratic faithful are spectacularly train-wreck-ian. I just hope he doesn't stop.

If you haven't tuned in lately, you must, because this is can't miss radio.

For Anyone Who Doesn't Know What Art Is

This is art. Fascinating. Well, except for that annoying ad at the bottom right of the picture. Just ignore that like you do most ads.

Does Anyone Read The Newspaper Anymore?

Only for the comics.

Speaking of comics, what does everyone think about Dilbert this past week? I have yet to see one post about it, although I think it is provocative. So I might as well start the discussion here. Go here and start at 3/8/08, if you don't know what I'm talking about.

I Heard A Rumor

"It's time to get happy, people!"- Tony Kornheiser, PTI.

Happy 18th birthday to Angus G Van Halen! Stop by his blog to wish him a good one.

At Least Dan McLaughlin Is Happy

I don't know anyone else who is. Besides Joe Buck himself.

It's going to be a steady diet of listening to Mike Shannon and John Rooney for me this season. Of course, I'd prefer listening to them over McLaughlin and Hrabosky anyway, but I'd always tune in to Fox Sports Midwest to see if Joe was announcing that night.

Over the last several years, Joe was becoming more and more of an occasional sighting instead of a regular anyway. But I didn't realize he only did 10 telecasts last year.

Still, I'd take just 10. Joe is a lot like his father in that he would "let his hair down" and be a less serioius, sometime silly, version of himself on local Cardinals broadcasts. You never see that on Joe's national broadcasts, although a humorous quip occasionally finds its way into one.

I remember one such instance a few years back of Joe proclaiming "Run, Scott...run!" like an excited kindergardener on a ball hit in the gap that saw Scott Rolen trying to score from first. It was hilarious because he said it just as the cameraman zoomed in on Rolen digging for and rounding 3rd base.

So, we'll miss you, Joe. Have some fun with your family and come back again real soon.

Some Good Old Fashioned Writing

We've been studying the Ten Commandments going through Luther's Large Catechism in Bible Class the past few months. In regards to the 3rd Commandment ("You shall sanctify the holy day"), Luther wrote thusly:

"96] Therefore not only those sin against this commandment who grossly misuse and desecrate the holy day, as those who on account of their greed or frivolity neglect to hear God's Word or lie in taverns and are dead drunk like swine; but also that other crowd, who listen to God's Word as to any other trifle, and only from custom come to preaching, and go away again, and at the end of the year know as little of it as at the beginning. 97] For hitherto the opinion prevailed that you had properly hallowed Sunday when you had heard a mass or the Gospel read; but no one cared for God's Word, as also no one taught it. Now, while we have God's Word, we nevertheless do not correct the abuse; we suffer ourselves to be preached to and admonished, but we listen without seriousness and care."

Ouch. How many times have I been guilty of that last sentence?

Sometimes a person can't help it, but to consistently and without sound reason leave church without going to some study of scripture seems to fall in to this category. Especially if one is rushing off to something "funner" to fill the rest of their Sunday. Or whatever day one worships.

Also, in the Tappert edition of the Book Of Concord, the word 'trifle' above is translated 'entertainment'. I can't help but think of all the rock-band church services out there.

At any rate, despite it being a 16th Century collection of writings, the Lutheran Confessions are far from irrelevant and have plenty to say to our present day predicaments.

We've been blessed to have both Tappert and the newer Concordia edition, and must say I like them both. All Lutheran homes should have one. And use it.

Warning- "Dark Shadows" Alert

A couple of weeks ago I watched the NBA All-Star Weekend and got to see the 3-point shoot-out. That's my favorite part of the whole extravaganza.

It was won once again by the Raptors Jason Kapono, who was sizzling hot the final round. He tied the scoring record. That's him shooting in the photo above.

But that's, of course, not why I'm writing this post.

You see, in the above picture is Phoenix Suns guard Steve Nash (bottom right). Nash used to have much longer hair. It was quite a stringy mess until he cut it.

When I saw this picture in this week's Sporting News, I couldn't help but think that the camera caught Nash at a bad moment.

We've all had cameras catch us at less than our best. But my question is this- doesn't Nash look a lot like the fictional soap opera character Barnabas Collins in this picture?

Maybe it's the shadows or those bangs, but I half expect if Nash smiled you'd see fangs.

Maybe you don't see it. But if you don't, then at least you'd agree he looks a lot like Chris DeBurgh, the guy who sang that 1980s hit "The Lady In Red." I always thought that guy looked like Jonathan Frid anyway.

So, you be the judge. But my advice to Nash is this-

"Don't Pay The Ferryman." 'Til he gets you to the other side.

Decent Proposal

As the young Angus so aptly expressed, there was no reason for the length of NASCAR's California Speedway race this weekend. That wasn't a delay, it was an obstruction.

Nobody cares to hang around for hours waiting to start to race again. The fans, the crews and the drivers all get tired.

Once there has been a rain delay, when the race resumes, it must be guaranteed to end quickly before another delay can occur.

There's only one way to do this.

Shots.

After a rain delay, each driver and crew member must do a shot of Jack Daniels after each lap completed. Pretty soon, only a handful of cars will be left.

Last car running wins. Then we can all get to bed at a decent hour.

Boogity Boogity Boogity!

NASCAR's back and the chase is on! Who ya got? As always, I'm for Michael.

Toyota is looking better this year. I think there's a good chance they'll win a race this year. And I love Junior's new green colors.

Spring Has Sprung!

Let's play two today! I wonder what hijinks will occur this year?

The Verdict On This Post: No Good

On my drive home last night, Linda Ronstadt's 1970's hit "You're No Good" was played on the radio. And as I'm listening, it struck me how weird the term "no good" is.

I probably use this term every day, but is this even English? No good? Isn't it really supposed to be "not good"?

Who talks like this? Who puts a no in front of an adjective to express a thought in the negative? And yet it seems everyone I know says no good.

It happens all the time in sports. A missed shot in basketball is called as "no good". A missed field goal is "no good". Isn't it really just no good English.

Why would we describe something in the negative form like this? Why can't announcers just call it what it is- "a miss"? A missed tackle is not a "no tackle". Sorry, I mean a missed tackle is no a "no tackle", right?

A person should not be described as "no good"- he's a bum, a weasel, a jag, or whatever else you want to call him. But not "no good."

Can you imagine what life would be like if we applied this way of talking to everything we do?

"Honey, the food you fixed is no hot."
"That diaper is no clean."
"I work the no night shift."
"The weatherman is calling for a lot of no rain."

It'd be like living at a Tarzan convention. Only he and stereotypical Italian immigrants in B movies talk like this. So the only time a person should use "no good" is if they put an "a" sound on the end of every word.

Is anybody ever "no bad"? Could Linda Ronstadt sing a song like "You're No Bad, You're No Bad, You're No Bad, Baby You're No Bad?" I doubt it.

This whole mess is just no good.

Wee-Deedee-Dee, Deedee-Deedee-Dee...

Some random thoughts...

- How come whole milk costs more than skim or 2%? Don't they have to do less processing to whole milk, so wouldn't it be cheaper?

- Can we make cheese and ice cream out of baby formula?

- Were any of the songs in "My Music" in my sidebar ever nominated for a Grammy? Probably not. But I still like them.

- Lots of people think this is going to be a rebuilding season for the Cardinals. In other words, a bad year. Not me. I think all the new faces are going to make this season exciting. We just got a heck of a lot younger. I like our chances better now than I did at the end of last season. I'll post soon on why I'm optimistic. But one word may suffice: HUNGRIER.

- When I learned to type, it was on an electric typewriter. I learned to reach with my right index finger to reach the '6' key up top. So how come on a Microsoft ergonomic keyboard, the '6' is on the left hand side, making the left index finger reach the '4', '5' and '6'? Now my right index finger only has to do the '7'. Needless to say, last time I checked, my left index finger is getting tired...and a little peeved.

- Let's all- that's everyone in the whole U.S.- go to the bank Monday and withdraw all of our money! Just to make Monday a little funner! Leave nothing behind. I'd love to see the looks on their faces. We can do this. Spread the word.

- Anyone know what parts of a papaya and a pomegranate you can eat? I'm trying to expand my diet.

- Let's all give this winter a big hand. It's been quite a show so far. I heard someone say we're having this wintery weather due to global warming. Makes sense, I guess, no? Here's to ever more global warming, so we can continue having these great winters.

Can't Help Myself Again

I just have to do it.

I love swimming upstream.

It would be so wrong to do otherwise.

I'll probably hate myself Monday, but it's who I am, so why fight it?

Sure, it would be safer the other way, but what fun would there be in caution?

Nope, the only way I can have a little fun is to go for it.

So I'm going out on the ledge and doing what comes naturally.


"In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight
In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight"


Now, hum that in your head the rest of the weekend. And don't forget to have fun with it.

Missing This?

With the end of last year a blip in the rear view mirror, I must say I was allowed to do pretty good with meeting most of my goals. I was able to finish both Old and New Testaments with time to spare. I went over 20,000 Hindu squats and push ups with time to spare.

What I didn't do so well in was in the areas of gardening and foreign language. Guten tag? What's that?

Since the weather has been so lovely the past 3 days, I'm sure you've got to be ready for the yard to go from this:




To this:





(Who's that in my yard?)



So what better time than now to yak about last year's landscape?

As mentioned previously, I was able to successfully grow the following from seed:
blue fescue grass, malvia (which produces multiple nice pinkish-purplish/white flowers and broad green foliage shown above), shasta daisy,and another plant I haven't identified because I forgot to mark what it was after it was planted. I saved all my seed packets, so once it flowers I hope to be able to identify it.

I also was blessed with green beans, radishes and snap peas from seed, but not enough to really enjoy in abundance. I'm planting more this year. The tomatoes and cauliflower are visible in the vegetable bed to the right. I am going to expand this bed greatly this spring, God willing.


I'm hoping to expand it northward up the slope up near the fence.


I also got some great marigolds from seed as seen below in July. Also visible are a new golden privet, a new boxwood, a new prunus, blue star juniper and a new Russian sage (mostly decorating in or around the new bed, which is out further from the house than the older bed in front).


Also got some multi-colored Bachelor Buttons from seed and was able to save some of this year's crop for more seed.


The oriental lillies turned out nice.

Just opening.



Full bloom.

I was unsuccessful with Scottish moss, bellflower, coneflower and a couple of others. But I still have seed for the flowers, so I will be sowing indoors (maybe this weekend?).

Partly due to a lack of weather cooperation, but mostly due to the fact I was lazy and underfunded (ran out of supplies), I was unable to finish my terracing project. It was too dry to dig until October, then the rains came, then the cold, then the ice and snow, yada yada yada...and I'm not done.

Here's the mess of a problem I've had. I took out a very old rose bush and a trellis and was left with this.


Love the trash can view. This had to find a new home.

At the base, I didn't like how the sidewalk ended, so I cut out some sod and eventually replaced this with small pavers to finish the base of the retaining wall.


Preparing the paver base:


I'm going all the way up the slope with a terrace of small retaining walls, but as I mentioned, I'm not done. Hopefully this year.


As I've leveled and shaped the slope, I've been able to move a lot of the dirt to the back, which I'm going to use to start a pond/water fall. Probably not this year.

Finally, what thoughts of spring and summer outdoors would be complete without these little guys? Hummingbirds anyone?

See that little sucker on the left of the feeder?






Aren't you glad it's winter, and that we don't have to deal with all these things right now?

I Can't Help Myself

I just have to do it.

I love swimming upstream.

It would be so wrong to do otherwise.

I'll probably hate myself Monday, but it's who I am, so why fight it?

Sure, it would be safer the other way, but what fun would there be in caution?

Nope, the only way I can generate interest in this thing is to go for it.

So I'm going out on the ledge and doing what comes naturally.

I've got the Giants.

Let the beratement begin.