Thursday, September 22, 2005

Here Are The Photos I Promised

(Sorry this took so long, but I've had trouble posting photos to Blogger lately. Anybody else have this happen?)

I've spent most of my life downplaying the role of emotion in life and espousing the virtue of thought and logic. But there is a time and a place for emotion. And that time and place for me was last Friday 9/9/05. We went to Busch Stadium for the last time.

We thankfully were able to get some farewell photos. We even got to go on the field and into the Cardinals dugout, which we had never done before. In two months the place you see in these photos will be turned to rubble, with the finishing touches of the new stadium to grow out of it. Sad, but true.

Forgive me if all this sounds shallow in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. I am aware many people lost everything they had. If you are not a Cardinals fan, I doubt you can understand what this place has meant to our lives, so before I get to the photos, I will post a few utterances I've found on the web.

The following excerpt from L Boros @ Viva El Birdos sums up my feelings perfectly. Although the details are not the same, the emotion certainly is:




"i saw my first game at busch stadium in 1968, at the age of five; i saw my last game there yesterday. sat with my dad in section 158, where our family sat throughout my childhood ---...

in addition to the 10 games a year in 158... between the ages of 6 and 26 i bet i was there 20 times a year; 400 days and nights. i came to know the place as intimately as i knew my own home; and indeed busch was a home to me growing up, a safe haven from the pressures and fears and portents of youth. i was a fearful kid, extremely unsure of myself and terrified of anybody finding that out; but at the ballpark my inhibitions melted away. i knew how to act and what to say, needed neither approval nor validation. diff'nt world, diff'nt set of rules --- ones that made some sense to me, that i understood and seemed able to live by naturally."

how do you say goodbye to that, and how do you say thanks? i didn't even try; just walked out of there after the last out like i would after any other game, as if the stadium weren't going away and would always be there. it always was there for me, at a time when i needed a place to go; and in my imagination so it always will be."

And this comment from his post helps me realize our feelings are shared by many:

"made it to Busch twice, once in 2000, when my mother gave me an early birthday present, and last September. Living in Virginia, it's not so easy to get there from here. That first time I walked into the stadium was like achieving the Holy Grail for me, and that's exactly what I told my brother-in-law when he asked me how it was. The sights, the sounds, the atmosphere were like nothing I had ever experienced before, and I felt like I was among friends, even though I knew none of the other people. We were all there because of one thing; our love, our passion for the Cardinals, and it felt right. I had hoped to get out there at least once this season, but alas, budgetary restrictions prevented me from doing it. My one regret is that I was never able to have gone with my dad, who passed away in 1978. He's the reason I'm a Cards fan, and for that, I will be eternally grateful. I did buy a brick paver with his name on it, so at least I can say he finally made it."

And this one, same thing:

"Similar story. I grew up a Cards fan in RI, thanks to my dad bringing me up that way. he passed away in '88, but I was able to get out to the stadium a couple years ago as a college graduation present. Glad that I made it out there. Was thinking of buying a brick too. I really enjoyed the few games that I saw there, and I must say that I was slightly disappointed at the design of the new stadium. I really love the arches that surround the top of the current stadium....and love the whold circular thing. Oh well....I'm sure when i am there for a game I will love it!"


Sorry if this bores you. I hope this doesn't seem like looking at someone's vacation pictures, which can be perfectly dreadful. So most of these are of the stadium and articles of interest to the general person. Although there are a couple of us primates thrown in.


Here we go, beginning at about 2 p.m. that Friday. It was a hazy, hot, but not unbearable day.

View from behind the LF visitor's bullpen in Homer's Landing, an eatin' place inside Busch, looking west.


Views from the CF Stadium Club looking north to homeplate. This club is unique in baseball in that it was the first club allowed in the batter's background. The reason is that the glass is tinted a black color, so that no one can see in. Don't even ask the price.



View from right field bleachers.


View from the current Busch Stadium concourses south to the new stadium.


View east from current Busch Stadium concourses to new right field scoreboard in the new stadium.


View looking southwest to homeplate area of new stadium from the old. Where we are standing taking this picture is right above where the new CF wall will be in the new stadium.


New field being constructed, view from Busch Jr.



Same look at field construction, with the street level sidewalk circling the current stadium in the foreground.


Back inside Busch, a view from the pressbox behind homeplate. The next box to the right is the KMOX box, where the mighty Mike Shannon broadcasts from.


View of left field side of Busch from pressbox.


Within the stadium itself are the Cardinals organization offices. In the lobby are jerseys from all eras. I took this picture because it is the only jersey, from 1956, in the past 80 years not to have the "birds on the bat" on the front. Due to a public outcry, it only lasted one year. It's actually not a bad looking uniform.


From the offices we were let down on the field. We are looking southward toward right center field. This was truly exciting. The ground was very gritty. It reminded me of the cinder tracks we used to run track on.


View down the left field line east toward the arch.


View from in front of the dugout south toward right center field.


Looking toward rightfield pole from the dugout in Tony LaRussa's usual spot.


Turning right from the above postion brings you further into the dugout where players practice their swings and the helmets and bats are kept. From here leads to the locker room.


Okay. So this is me. With the wife. You can see my son's reflection in back of us as he snaps the photo.


The great Son of Maximus. My reflection is behind him.


One of the guides was kind enough to snap a family photo. In the years to come, as Busch becomes more and more of a memory, I'm sure we'll cherish this one.


View from field up to the KMOX booth, where the Mighty Shannon does his thing.


The son hamming it up (where's he get that from?) in front of a 1962 Corvette in the Cardinals Museum and Hall of Fame. The Corvette is actually Mark McGwire's, given to him that famous night he hit home run number 62 in 1998. It has been donated by McGwire to the museum. In spite of what you may think of him, he really is a good guy.


A model of the old Sportsman's Park, where the Cardinals played until 1966. Its last years it was known as Busch Stadium. This is therefore the granddaddy of the Busch Stadium family.


This is the architect's model of the current (second) Busch Stadium.


From there my son and I went up to the top of the Arch to get some pictures. You can see how hazy it was that day. Here's Busch II and III side by side as we look out the western view windows.


Looking west into downtown St. Louis. The courthouse is seen in the foreground, and the beautiful Kiener Plaza behind it.


For all you Rams fans, here is the view looking northwest to the Edward Jones Dome.


Of course, I had to take a picture of Mike Shannon's Steaks and Seafood, across the street north from Kiener Plaza.


Kiener Plaza looking east to the courthouse and Arch, a block north of the current Busch.


We've now walked back south past the western side of the stadium to the western side of the new ballpark. The Color Guard can be seen outside the stadium preparing for the National Anthem on the left of the photo.


View looking east showing the southern edge of Busch II with the new ballpark built up to the point where it appears about ready to swallow it. Very Pac-man-esque.


This will be the main entrance to the new ballpark on the west side. The Eads Bridge construction theme can be easily seen here and in the design of the overhang to cover the seats.


Section 348 View- The best player in baseball is warming up just before the first pitch.


From Section 348- a view to the east, the left field half of Busch


View south (see the cranes of the new ballpark?) of the right field side of Busch II.


Play ball!


Had to get a picture of the mighty Pujols at the bat...


... and fielding a bunt.


In a fitting end to my era at Busch, Larry Walker came up with two out in the bottom of the eighth, with the game tied 2-2. After two ugly strike outs earlier in the game, Walker crushed a ball to the back of the Cardinals bullpen in right field. Here's Larry crossing the plate as we all went nuts. The crowd was building to a fever pitch as he went into the dugout, roaring for a curtain call. Nunez was the next batter, but instead of taking his time so Larry could get his curtain call, he gets right in the box and swings at the first pitch, making an out. But Larry played the drama right. All the other Cardinals exited the dugout before him as the Mets came to bat, then he finally popped out of it and jogged to right field as the place went nuts.


Marquis pitched a great game. Tony left him in at the start of the ninth inning, and let him leave the game before the first pitch so that he could also get a rousing ovation from the fans. Nicely done.

And here's the final scene from Busch after the last out. Cards Win!


And then it was over. As I left the stadium the crowd was overwhelming. Trying to fight our way back across the walkway to the West Stadium Parking Garage was difficult. I did not turn around to look back at the doomed stadium.

We were able to park our car on the 4th floor blue level, and my final look at Busch was through the grating of my parking space. As I pulled out I decided not to look again.

Farewell, my friend.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

If Scottius Maximus Ruled The World...Part 2

- Before the start of baseball games, the National Anthem would be replaced by "The Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin.
- I would encourage people in this predicament to solve their problems without the government's involvement. I mean, really, do they need to go to the trouble of investigating whether a zoning ordinance was violated in this neighborhood? This problem could be solved by a couple of the neighbors next door to this "Swingers Club" sitting down on a lawn chair and photographing the cars, license plates, and people as they come and go, then posting them on a website. The "Club" would move within hours.
- New Orleans would never be rebuilt with government money. Nor any other area hit by a hurricane. As a resident of a flat state, I'm getting a little sick of our tax dollars going down the drain continually rebuilding these coastal communities. Hey, all you Einsteins out there- if no one ever told you, I will- if you live on the coast, you might get hit by a hurricane at some point. Bad idea.
- Barry Bonds would be intentionally walked every time he came up to bat. This would serve two purposes: he would never get the chance to break Hank Aaron's record, and he'd have to run the bases on his bad knee.
- Cardinals reliever Julian Tavarez would have to pitch wearing a Zorro mask. Seriously, wouldn't he look awesome if he wore a Cardinal red Zorro mask under his red cap at home and a black mask under his road cap. It would certainly help solidify his reputation of being off his rocker.
- Anyone who listened to rap "music" would be subjected to national ridicule. Most adults want to get rid of it, but they go about it the wrong way. They try to censor these people. But you see, passing laws against behaviors never works. The only thing that seems to influence behavior nowadays is peer pressure and influence. So let's not try to get rid of rap by forceful persuasion, let's just make fun of it until no one would be caught dead wearing their jeans around their thighs and their caps sideways, like a bad Benny Hill character.
- There would be no tax on things we need, like food, gas, and property. But there would be tax on things we want, like beer and coffee. In fact, maybe the government would take over the manufacture, distribution, and sale of beer, coffee, and cigars. That way all the proceeds of the sale of these luxury items would go directly into the coffers.
- Out with government cheese. In with government soap, mouthwash, and toothpaste.
- Four words: Busch Stadium Still Stands.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I May Have Missed Pirate Day, But I WON'T Miss These Days


So I find out from Engadget that yesterday was International Talk Like A Pirate Day. And I completely missed it. Which is devastating, because there's nothing funnier than a pirate and his way with words.

I vowed to never let such a thing happen again. So I quickly perused the calendar and jotted down these "Notes to Self" so I won't miss these upcoming "Talk Like A..." days.


October 7, 2005: International Talk Like James Brown Day

(Scene: A typical Washington DC home)
Laura Bush: "I'm ready for the state dinner, are you?"
George Bush (twisting and jerking): "HUH! I FEEL GOOD!"
Mrs. Bush: "What?"
Mr. Bush (gyrating): "HEY BABY- PAPA'S GOT A BRAND NEW BAG! WHOA! YEAH!"





October 15, 2005: National Talk Like Bill Clinton Day

To participate, simply insert your favorite verb or phrase in to the following line:
I did not (INSERT VERB HERE) with that woman, Miss Lewinsky!


Example-
Wife: "Honey, did you do the dishes?"
Husband: "No, I did not do the dishes with that woman, Miss Lewinsky!"


November 3, 2005: International Talk Like Sponge Bob Day

(Scene: angry boss's office)
Angry Boss: "I told you I needed this report by today, and you don't have it done!"
Employee (in best Sponge Bob voice): "Well, I guess I ripped my pants again!"



November 8, 2005: International Talk Like Jack Buck Day

(Scene: any neighborhood, USA)
Wife: "Did you finally get the garbage taken out?"
Husband: "Yeah, I got it out just in time."

Wife: "GO CRAZY, FOLKS, GO CRAZY! UNBELIEVABLE! I DON'T BELIEVE...WHAT I JUST SAW! IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?"



December 22, 2005: National Talk Like Jerry Seinfeld Day (Canada Only)

(Scene: neighborhood gas station)
Gas Station Attendant: "Just gas for you today, sir, ay?"
Customer (in whiny, pressured speech): "Why do they call it gas? It's not a gas, it's a liquid. Why do they call it that? Instead of gasoline, they should call it liquidoline."




January 15, 2006: International Talk Like Michael Waltrip Day

(Scene: boss's office)
Boss: "Is this the best you could do?"
Employee: "For a "cat" like me? You bet!"




March 11, 2006: International Talk Like Macho Man Randy Savage Day

(Scene: monthly office meeting)
Boss: "Okay, moving on, let's hear how the new project is coming."
Employee (in gravelly Randy Savage voice): "Well, you know Mean Gene- OOOOOOOOH, YEAH!"
Boss (looking around, bewildered and yet miffed): "Who the heck's Mean Gene? I told everyone, no new hires!"
Employee: "SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM! OOOHHH YEAH!"



April 10, 2006: National Talk Like JJ Day

(Scene: a lunchtime telphone conversation)
Father: "Better hurry up and cut the lawn before it rains."
Son: "Don't worry, pop, your lawn will be out of sight...'cause you left it in the hands of 'Kid Dyn-o-Mite!'"


April 18, 2006: National Talk Like Herman Munster Day

(Scene: TV news studio)
Weathergirl: "Well, it looks this heat wave will continue at least through the weekend."
Anchorman (flapping hands like Herman): "Now, now, now, now, now...Lilly!"
Weathergirl: "Say what?!!"
Anchorman (roars loudly like a monster and then yells while jumping up and down): "DARN! DARN! DARN! DARN!"



April 28, 2006: International Talk Like Gollum Day

(Scene: New Busch Stadium, St. Louis)
Mike Shannon: "We must be quiet, Hobbits. Cardinals is getting our "Precious" for winnings World Serieses. Times for a nice, cold, frosty one."
Wayne: "Um...take it easy on the easy drinkin' Busch Light, Big Fella."

Monday, September 19, 2005

(YAWN)

This may sound terrible, but the Cardinals won the NL Central Saturday, and all I can say is, "SO WHAT?"

We are so spoiled that this doesn't even mean anything anymore. As I posted earlier in the year, we all want only one thing, and that is a World Series Championship. Period. Another National League Pennant would be nice but an empty feeling would still hover around if we don't win it this year. Because for the second year in a row we will have finished with the best record in all of baseball.

Just remember how bad we felt last October, and at least double that if we lose again this year. I'm starting to get nervous. Only two weeks to go until the playoffs begin.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Week 2 Picks

Last week a very peasant like 8-8.

Week 2:
Pittsburgh

Chicago

Cincinnati

Indianapolis

Tennessee

New England

Buffalo

Philadelphia

St. Louis

Atlanta

Jets

Green Bay

Denver

Kansas City

New Orleans

Dallas

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Prayers Needed


We received a letter from Nsaguye yesterday. He is a young Rwandan boy, actually a young man now, that we have been blessed to sponsor the past 10 years through Compassion International. He mentioned his brother had died. No details were given. I don't know if it was from disease or if he was killed, but I know Rwanda is dangerous in both respects. Last year Nsaguye himself suffered from malaria.

Nsaguye appears to have a much stronger faith than any of us. He seems to exude joy although his hardships are incomprehensible to me. He always mentions how Jesus has blessed him. And he is right. Because unlike most of American Christianity, he knows his worldly blessings are not to be trusted in, nor are they a sign of God's approval. Although God may choose to bless us in this life also, His real blessings are heavenly and eternal, not of this world. Why don't we get that?

Please pray with us for his health and safety, and his family's.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Anybody Seen This?


I don't care for much TV other than sports and HGTV, but I have found myself addicted to this show on the E channel. It's called Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive. I would call it reality TV, but I'm not so sure this is not just a put on. Because I find it hard to believe real people would act like this on camera.

This show is supposedly about ten rich kids, 5 males and 5 females, driving cattle from point A to point B. I use the word kids because the collective mental ages of these people is about 12. They are all from very rich families and are mostly the end result of parental welfare.

I should say almost all of them, because there are a couple of them who are mature. The rest are as shallow as morning dew. And like government welfare recipients, they have a prohibitive entitlement mentality. Even though none of them have accomplished a single thing in their entire lives, and probably never will. They are, with a couple of exceptions, lazy, stupid, and selfish.

The cowboys that are leading this group seem bewildered by what they are seeing in these people. While the parents of these people understandably are probably well-respected and hard-working, their offspring sure ain't. I think at some point one of the cowboys is going to get fed up and knock the crap out of one of the guys.

So I intend to keep tuning in.

In the latest episode that I saw last night, three of the guys and one of the girls were supposed to stay at camp and stand watch while the others went off to a rodeo. Well, instead of living up to their word, three of them shirked their responsibility and took off, leaving just one of the "good" guys behind. I can't wait to see what the others do to them when they come back.

If you haven't seen this yet, please do take in one or two episodes just to see what you think. It's fascinating to watch cowboys who have a strong work ethic try to motivate a group of slobs.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

NFL Picks Week 1

Sports fans, here are the picks for opening week.

New England
Minnesota
Denver
Pittsburgh
Chicago
Carolina
Jacksonville
Buffalo
Cincinnati
Kansas City
Detroit
San Diego
St. Louis
Giants
Baltimore
Philadelphia

You're welcome.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

And Now, A Message From The CEO

Those of us at Scottius Maximus Enterprises realize the importance you place on timely and abundant posts. Those of you whose lives revolve around this blog will be pleased with the following announcement.

Due to an unprecedented E-mail campaign (cue Superman theme song) of slightly less than 1000, Scottius Maximus Productions, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Scottius Maximus Enterprises, is proud to announce the return of NFL RUNWAY for the start of the 2005 NFL Season.


For the uninitiated, NFL RUNWAY is an ongoing series regarding the state of NFL team uniform fashion. Unfortunately, due to the close of the 2004 season before I could finish the series, I placed it on hiatus until the start of this season, which began on Thursday. So, grab a camera, fashion freaks, and be prepared to be awed, inspired...or to be a quivering mass of uncontrollable nausea. Whatever that means.

I post the following excerpt from last December to explain what we're going to be doing:

"So what is the best and worst the NFL has to offer? I will try to analyze this over the next few days to weeks. And how does one determine this? There are...so many home and away versions for all teams. So, to break this down, let's look at the uniform in its component parts, then the overall effect, in both home and away versions which can then be averaged, factor in a miscellaneous historical score (if the uniform has evolved significantly over time), and come up with an overall rating for each team.


I will use the following scale:

-2= Gollum ugly

-1 = Simply unattractive

0 = Neutral/okay

1 = Attractive

2 = Sweet


Categories will be:

Helmet design
(-2 to 2 points)
Color Scheme (
-2 to 2 points, average of home and away)
Jersey
(-2 to 2 points, average of home and away)
Leg and Footwear
(-2 to 2 points, average of home and away)
Overall Effect
(-2 to 2 points, average of home and away)
Miscellaneous Historical Factor
(+/- any number of points)

Totals will be the sum of the above scores. Winner has the most points, loser the least.


Why do this? Well, why not? Besides, isn't this is the kind of crap for which Algore invented the internet?"



To catch us up to date quickly, I will re-post the Divisions already reviewed last year, and update them later this season. Or you can just click on the links below. This year we will begin with the AFC East in a few days.

NFC North- Bears, Lions, Vikings, Packers
NFC East- Giants, Eagles, Cowboys, Redskins
AFC Central- Bengals, Browns, Ravens, Steelers

This year promises, as all new seasons do, that some new and exciting things will be discovered. Like how many colors can you put on one uniform, or why exactly do sports teams go with orange as a team color?

It should be fun. And for those of you not NFL fans, it gives you a reason to tune in and watch.

As always, comments are welcome from all. Both the regulars and all you lurkers.

Thank you, and blessings.

Dr. Scottius Maximus

(And, please, pray with me that the NFL lawyers don't come after me for posting their logo and photos without permission. Gulp!)

This IS Funny!

I like El Presidente, although I don't agree with a lot of what he has done. And the more people try to tear him apart or make fun of him, the more I like him. It's possible if "they'd" leave him alone I'd like him less, as I do most politicians. I had the same reaction when people were piling on Bill Clinton. Cubs fans recognize it. It's the "Underdog Syndrome."

But let's face it, regardless of your political viewpoint, this actual screen shot from a Sky News broadcast is pretty funny. This is from Snopes Urban legend page.

Moral: Wording and punctuation are important.


Lar-ry, Lar-ry, Lar-ry


Walker's 457 foot home run swing makes my night.

Quite a game last night. A fitting way to end my last Busch Stadium experience. Walker redeemed himself from a night of defensive miscues and two ugly strikeouts with a game winning two out home run in the bottom of the eighth.

More to come later...

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

This Is Going To Sound Terribly Shallow...



In watching last night's Cardinals broadcast, I noticed something I hadn't before. Either Joe Buck has Elaine Benes' "giant freak head" or Al Hrabosky has a head the size of a cue ball and we just didn't notice it 'til he got his hair cut short.


Or I suppose it could have just been the perspective of the camera, in which case the director should lose a night's pay.

Joe took down the stadium countdown number last night, taking off the 14 to reveal the 13. I'm not sure of the significance of this. I mean Joe and the numbers 14 or 13. Perhaps someone could enlighten me.

I will be there Friday night. I wonder who it's going to be that night. The 11 will give way to a 10. Should be fun to see.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

SNES- The Best?


Those of us in our 40s remember Pong, Atari, and Intellivision as the pioneer game consoles. In the early 80s, I remember thinking how cool Intellivision was. I had about 30 games in college. The baseball game was, in my opinion, the best. You could control any of 9 players in the field. And you could put "English" on the ball when pitching to make it break at the last minute. The football game had 4 players per team on the field at a time. At the time, it was the best we had, but in retrospect, the graphics were pretty awful. Basically they consisted of colored stick figures to represent people or objects. But since we didn't know any better, it was cool.

The Nintendo franchise changed all that. It was the next step up, the second generation of games. Mario Bros. put the older games to shame with what looked like cartoon animation instead of stick figures. It was now possible for role playing games like The Legend of Zelda, which I believe was the first game to provide an overhead perspective.

The zenith of the second generation of game consoles was, of course, the Super Nintedo system, or SNES. Gizmodo brought back memories by linking to an article that makes the case that SNES was the best gaming console of all time.

On the basis of the game, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, I would agree. In my opinion, this was the best video game ever produced.



I think the reason I prefer the older versions of games is that the new games are too reliant on graphics. A Link to the Past relied on intriguing puzzles as well as some action for its entertainment. Even in the sports games, like the Madden franchise, you had to use your head more than you had to use your fingers.

In these "modern" days, the winner of a game is more likely to be better at manipulating the keypad than in outwitting his opponent. At least that's my theory as to why my son consistently kicks my behind on the PS3! I just don't know what have of the buttons and button combos are for. Which is my fault, I know.

But, (sigh), I long for the days of the 2 button keypad.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Conquest Of The Planet Of The Ex-Cardinals

Poised to break box office records, here is the fourth installment of my creation:

Starring:

Tony Womack, Yankees
G- 100, AB- 325, R- 46, H- 80, 2B- 8, 3B- 1, HR- 0, RBI- 15, TB- 90, BB- 12, SO- 49, SB- 26, CS- 5, OBP- .274, SLG- .277, AVG- .246, OPS- .551


Edgar Renteria, Red Sox
G- 126, AB- 514, R- 83, H- 147, 2B- 30, 3B- 3, HR- 7, RBI- 56, TB- 204, BB- 47, SO- 81, SB-9, CS- 4, OBP- .347, SLG- .397, AVG- .286, OPS- .744


Woody Williams, Padres
W- 6, L- 11, ERA- 5.01, G-22, GS- 22, CG- 0, SHO- 0, SV- 0, SVO- 0, IP- 129.1, H- 141, R- 77 ER- 72, HR- 21, BB- 39, SO- 86


Steve Kline, Orioles
W- 2, L- 4, ERA- 4.37, G- 59, GS- 0, CG- 0, SHO- 0, SV- 0, SVO- 3, IP- 55.2, H- 54, R- 31, ER-27, HR- 11, BB- 28, SO- 33


Mike Matheny, Giants
G- 108, AB- 362, R- 39, H- 91, 2B- 30, 3B- 0, HR- 11, RBI- 49, TB- 154, BB- 25, SO- 68, SB- 0, CS- 2, OBP- .307, SLG- .425, AVG- .251, OPS- .732


Danny Haren, A's
W- 12, L- 10, ERA- 3.86, G- 29, GS- 29, CG- 3, SHO- 0, SV- 0, SVO- 0, IP- 186.2, H- 183, R- 91, ER- 80, HR- 23, BB- 48, SO- 137


Kiko Calero, A's
W- 4, L- 1, ERA- 3.45, G- 45, GS- 0, CG- 0, SHO- 0, SV- 1, SVO- 2, IP- 44.1, H- 41, R- 17, ER- 17, HR-5, BB- 12, SO- 40


Marlon Anderson, Mets
G- 101, AB- 194, R- 23, H- 51, 2B- 8, 3B- 0, HR- 3, RBI- 13, TB- 68, BB-16, SO- 32, SB- 6, CS- 1, OBP- .319, SLG- .351, AVG- .263, OPS- .670

From high atop my critic's chair, here's my review of the "plot" of our latest episode:
1. I was all set to give Yadi the catching knod over Matheny, but I realized he has hardly played the past month due to injury. And we had to be subjected to Mahoney. (A thumbs down for the Cardinals here).
2. I am getting over Marlon Anderson. He didn't have a good month. (A thumbs up for the Cardinals).
3. Haren and Calero vs. Mulder is still a tough call at this point in the season. But I have to go with having two good pitchers instead of just one. Ultimately Mulder may win out on the basis of his left-handedness in the post-season. We'll see. Still, I just hope we haven't ended up getting "Bartoned". (Thumbs down for the Cards).
4. I still love the great "Albert" Eckstein, and I'm still glad Edgar Renteria is gone. Renteria is perceived to have had a down year, yet his numbers are very close to his career averages. And nine stolen bases? Who would have thought Albert Pujols would have more? I'm going to say it again: Edgar is WAY overpaid. (Thumbs up for the Cards).
5. Tony Womack will have to go all Bizarro Womack and get a hit in his next 75 at bats for me to change my mind that the Cardinals did well not to re-sign him. His OBP is anemic, and his SO rate is horrible. (Thumbs up for the Cards).
6. Woody Williams has had a bad month. He gave up seven home runs. Yikes! He continues to have overall worse numbers than even Jason Marquis, although it's pretty close. Jocketty is a genius and should win executive of the year. (Thumbs up for the Cards).
7. Steve Kline- Still no saves and 3 more home runs given up. (Thumbs up for the Cards).

So, it looks like five thumbs up and two thumbs down for this film, a net gain of three thumbs.

From the Cardinals standpoint, this is by far our best installment in the franchise.

Well, how will it all end? In another month we'll be wrapping this all up. The series will reach its exicting conclusion, Battle For The Planet Of The Ex-Cardinals. I'm sure the excitement will keep people from sleeping for days.

Until next time, I'll see you...at the movies.

Here Is Something Funny


As most of you know by now, I love the Planet of the Apes movies. In "researching" my next post, I ran across this website dealing with the movies. There are essays about the movies here.

One of the essays deals with "Illogical Plot Elements."

Illogical plot elements? For Planet of the Apes? Are you kidding me? Say it ain't so! You mean there is something illogical about the plots to these movies? Thank God there is an essay to set the record straight.

The plot of the WHOLE series is illogical! And yet the writer leaves out the most important illogical plot element- that astronauts would travel through time and crash land on a futuristic earth ruled by intelligent apes with human slaves! This is where I would start if I were writing an essay on illogical plot elements.

Note to my fellow Planet of the Apes fans- let's all take a deep breath and relax. Remember our mantra...IT IS ONLY A MOVIE. Otherwise we'll end up with Triumph The Insult Comic Dog coming after us, like these poor folks.

Friday, September 02, 2005

I'll Never Be Able To Listen To This Song The Same Way Again

This morning on my local oldies station, "Bad Moon Rising" by CCR came on. It spooked me quite frankly, in the wake of Katrina. The lyrics give me a chill.

"I see the bad moon arising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see earthquakes and lightnin’.
I see bad times today.

Chorus:Don’t go around tonight,
Well, it’s bound to take your life,
There’s a bad moon on the rise.

I hear hurricanes ablowing.
I know the end is coming soon.
I fear rivers over flowing.
I hear the voice of rage and ruin.

Chorus
All right!

Hope you got your things together.
Hope you are quite prepared to die.
Looks like we’re in for nasty weather.
One eye is taken for an eye.

Chorus
Chorus."

Well, They Have Arrived

There is a certain cold reality about receiving tickets in the mail. Particularly when you know you are doing something for the very last time.

Tickets to next Friday night's game against the Mets. My last visit to good ol' Busch Stadium. Upper deck, section 348. Shouldn't be too bad, just to the first base side of home plate.

I plan on taking lots of pictures, God willing, and will try to post them. If everything goes according to plan (which is a ridiculous thing to say because what ever goes according to plan?), we will spend the day taking a tour of the stadium, visiting the baseball museum, and of course, eating at Mike Shannon's Steaks and Seafood.





But I know I will miss this place:

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Here's My UFO List


The Official Alien Board of Directors.

I wish I could find a link, but I heard this on the radio. I think Paul Harvey, but I may be wrong.

Nelson Mandela was recently voted, by those who believe in aliens and UFOs, as the one person to represent Earth at an interplanetary summit. That's right, when contact is made, they think he would best represent the human race.

First of all, we can't send just one man. No wait, a minute. Let me start over.

First of all, I don't believe in UFOs or aliens. But if I did, then I'd say, first of all, we can't send just one man. We'd have to send a committe. Maybe a committee of 10. But Mandela wouldn't be on my list.

Here's who I think should represent Earth.


1. Space Ghost- Dude already has intergalactic experience.

2. Jimmie "JJ" Walker- We'll surely give those aliens a fright, if we just send "Kid Dyn-O-Mite!"

3. Cubs manager Dusty Baker- He'll be looking for a job soon, and he can explain his theory of how blacks can tolerate and play in the Earth's heat better than whites.

4. Terrrell Owens- It'll get him out of our hair and into theirs.

5. George Foreman- He needs a new market for his famous grilling machine, because everyone on earth now has one.

6. Ozzy Osbourne- If you've heard his slurred speech, you know he can already speak "alien". So let him go and interpret. Plus, I'd just like to see the looks on the alien's faces.

7. Dan Patrick- He could bring the aliens up to date on our pennant races and football season.

8. Anna Nicole Smith- Just 'cause we need a representative of the average American woman. What???!!!

9. Kramer- I just miss seeing this guy. He was my favorite Seinfeld character. I'm sure his antics would be something to see, and he could teach aliens about "apartment levels" and "rubber bladders full of oil."

10. That Sheehan lady- It's the only thing that'll get her out of Crawford. And one hour around this broad and the aliens will likely leave our galaxy and never come back.

I think this is quite a group, don't you?

I thought about including John Madden, but that might delay the release of Madden 2007. So he can be an alternate. Along with Michael Waltrip. That cat is a gas, man!

Madden and Waltrip.


Anybody got any other suggestions?

What Did He Know, And When Did He Know It?



Remember that question from the media after 9/11? That somehow it was George Bush's fault that 9/11 happened?

I predict something similar will eventually come from the media regarding Hurricane Katrina.

It's all Bush's fault, you know.

Maybe some mother who lost a son in the storm will call Bush the world's biggest terrorist for not ensuring everyone got out of New Orleans. Even though they might have "voluntarily" stayed when they had the chance to get out. Sound familiar?

It's Bush's fault. It's always his fault.

Other things that are George Bush's fault:
- The 2004 Cardinals World Series debacle.
- The cancellation of the last Star Trek series from television this year.
- Brad and Jen's divorce.
- Desperate Housewives.
- The death of Green Acres star Eddie Albert of pneumonia at age 99.
- Adding Strawberry to Mike and Ike Assorted Fruits.
- This classic sports cast.
- Carl Lewis singing the National Anthem.
- Howard Dean's Scream Speech.

Remember the mantra, "It's Bush's Fault." 'Cause I think we'll start hearing it again soon.