I May Have Missed Pirate Day, But I WON'T Miss These Days

So I find out from Engadget that yesterday was International Talk Like A Pirate Day. And I completely missed it. Which is devastating, because there's nothing funnier than a pirate and his way with words.

I vowed to never let such a thing happen again. So I quickly perused the calendar and jotted down these "Notes to Self" so I won't miss these upcoming "Talk Like A..." days.


October 7, 2005: International Talk Like James Brown Day

(Scene: A typical Washington DC home)
Laura Bush: "I'm ready for the state dinner, are you?"
George Bush (twisting and jerking): "HUH! I FEEL GOOD!"
Mrs. Bush: "What?"
Mr. Bush (gyrating): "HEY BABY- PAPA'S GOT A BRAND NEW BAG! WHOA! YEAH!"




October 15, 2005: National Talk Like Bill Clinton Day

To participate, simply insert your favorite verb or phrase in to the following line:
I did not (INSERT VERB HERE) with that woman, Miss Lewinsky!

Example-
Wife: "Honey, did you do the dishes?"
Husband: "No, I did not do the dishes with that woman, Miss Lewinsky!"


November 3, 2005: International Talk Like Sponge Bob Day

(Scene: angry boss's office)
Angry Boss: "I told you I needed this report by today, and you don't have it done!"
Employee (in best Sponge Bob voice): "Well, I guess I ripped my pants again!"



November 8, 2005: International Talk Like Jack Buck Day

(Scene: any neighborhood, USA)
Wife: "Did you finally get the garbage taken out?"
Husband: "Yeah, I got it out just in time."
Wife: "GO CRAZY, FOLKS, GO CRAZY! UNBELIEVABLE! I DON'T BELIEVE...WHAT I JUST SAW! IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?"



December 22, 2005: National Talk Like Jerry Seinfeld Day (Canada Only)

(Scene: neighborhood gas station)
Gas Station Attendant: "Just gas for you today, sir, ay?"
Customer (in whiny, pressured speech): "Why do they call it gas? It's not a gas, it's a liquid. Why do they call it that? Instead of gasoline, they should call it liquidoline."



January 15, 2006: International Talk Like Michael Waltrip Day

(Scene: boss's office)
Boss: "Is this the best you could do?"
Employee: "For a "cat" like me? You bet!"



March 11, 2006: International Talk Like Macho Man Randy Savage Day

(Scene: monthly office meeting)
Boss: "Okay, moving on, let's hear how the new project is coming."
Employee (in gravelly Randy Savage voice): "Well, you know Mean Gene- OOOOOOOOH, YEAH!"
Boss (looking around, bewildered and yet miffed): "Who the heck's Mean Gene? I told everyone, no new hires!"
Employee: "SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM! OOOHHH YEAH!"



April 10, 2006: National Talk Like JJ Day

(Scene: a lunchtime telphone conversation)
Father: "Better hurry up and cut the lawn before it rains."
Son: "Don't worry, pop, your lawn will be out of sight...'cause you left it in the hands of 'Kid Dyn-o-Mite!'"


April 18, 2006: National Talk Like Herman Munster Day

(Scene: TV news studio)
Weathergirl: "Well, it looks this heat wave will continue at least through the weekend."
Anchorman (flapping hands like Herman): "Now, now, now, now, now...Lilly!"
Weathergirl: "Say what?!!"
Anchorman (roars loudly like a monster and then yells while jumping up and down): "DARN! DARN! DARN! DARN!"

April 28, 2006: International Talk Like Gollum Day

(Scene: New Busch Stadium, St. Louis)
Mike Shannon: "We must be quiet, Hobbits. Cardinals is getting our "Precious" for winnings World Serieses. Times for a nice, cold, frosty one."
Wayne: "Um...take it easy on the easy drinkin' Busch Light, Big Fella."

(YAWN)

This may sound terrible, but the Cardinals won the NL Central Saturday, and all I can say is, "SO WHAT?"

We are so spoiled that this doesn't even mean anything anymore. As I posted earlier in the year, we all want only one thing, and that is a World Series Championship. Period. Another National League Pennant would be nice but an empty feeling would still hover around if we don't win it this year. Because for the second year in a row we will have finished with the best record in all of baseball.

Just remember how bad we felt last October, and at least double that if we lose again this year. I'm starting to get nervous. Only two weeks to go until the playoffs begin.

Week 2 Picks

Last week a very peasant like 8-8.

Week 2:
Pittsburgh
Chicago
Cincinnati
Indianapolis
Tennessee
New England
Buffalo
Philadelphia
St. Louis
Atlanta
Jets
Green Bay
Denver
Kansas City
New Orleans
Dallas

Prayers Needed

We received a letter from Nsaguye yesterday. He is a young Rwandan boy, actually a young man now, that we have been blessed to sponsor the past 10 years through Compassion International. He mentioned his brother had died. No details were given. I don't know if it was from disease or if he was killed, but I know Rwanda is dangerous in both respects. Last year Nsaguye himself suffered from malaria.

Nsaguye appears to have a much stronger faith than any of us. He seems to exude joy although his hardships are incomprehensible to me. He always mentions how Jesus has blessed him. And he is right. Because unlike most of American Christianity, he knows his worldly blessings are not to be trusted in, nor are they a sign of God's approval. Although God may choose to bless us in this life also, His real blessings are heavenly and eternal, not of this world. Why don't we get that?

Please pray with us for his health and safety, and his family's.

Anybody Seen This?

I don't care for much TV other than sports and HGTV, but I have found myself addicted to this show on the E channel. It's called Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive. I would call it reality TV, but I'm not so sure this is not just a put on. Because I find it hard to believe real people would act like this on camera.

This show is supposedly about ten rich kids, 5 males and 5 females, driving cattle from point A to point B. I use the word kids because the collective mental ages of these people is about 12. They are all from very rich families and are mostly the end result of parental welfare.

I should say almost all of them, because there are a couple of them who are mature. The rest are as shallow as morning dew. And like government welfare recipients, they have a prohibitive entitlement mentality. Even though none of them have accomplished a single thing in their entire lives, and probably never will. They are, with a couple of exceptions, lazy, stupid, and selfish.

The cowboys that are leading this group seem bewildered by what they are seeing in these people. While the parents of these people understandably are probably well-respected and hard-working, their offspring sure ain't. I think at some point one of the cowboys is going to get fed up and knock the crap out of one of the guys.

So I intend to keep tuning in.

In the latest episode that I saw last night, three of the guys and one of the girls were supposed to stay at camp and stand watch while the others went off to a rodeo. Well, instead of living up to their word, three of them shirked their responsibility and took off, leaving just one of the "good" guys behind. I can't wait to see what the others do to them when they come back.

If you haven't seen this yet, please do take in one or two episodes just to see what you think. It's fascinating to watch cowboys who have a strong work ethic try to motivate a group of slobs.

NFL Picks Week 1

Sports fans, here are the picks for opening week.

New England
Minnesota
Denver
Pittsburgh
Chicago
Carolina
Jacksonville
Buffalo
Cincinnati
Kansas City
Detroit
San Diego
St. Louis
Giants
Baltimore
Philadelphia

You're welcome.

And Now, A Message From The CEO

Those of us at Scottius Maximus Enterprises realize the importance you place on timely and abundant posts. Those of you whose lives revolve around this blog will be pleased with the following announcement.

Due to an unprecedented E-mail campaign (cue Superman theme song) of slightly less than 1000, Scottius Maximus Productions, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Scottius Maximus Enterprises, is proud to announce the return of NFL RUNWAY for the start of the 2005 NFL Season.


For the uninitiated, NFL RUNWAY is an ongoing series regarding the state of NFL team uniform fashion. Unfortunately, due to the close of the 2004 season before I could finish the series, I placed it on hiatus until the start of this season, which began on Thursday. So, grab a camera, fashion freaks, and be prepared to be awed, inspired...or to be a quivering mass of uncontrollable nausea. Whatever that means.

I post the following excerpt from last December to explain what we're going to be doing:

"So what is the best and worst the NFL has to offer? I will try to analyze this over the next few days to weeks. And how does one determine this? There are...so many home and away versions for all teams. So, to break this down, let's look at the uniform in its component parts, then the overall effect, in both home and away versions which can then be averaged, factor in a miscellaneous historical score (if the uniform has evolved significantly over time), and come up with an overall rating for each team.

I will use the following scale:
-2= Gollum ugly
-1 = Simply unattractive
0 = Neutral/okay
1 = Attractive
2 = Sweet

Categories will be:
Helmet design (-2 to 2 points)
Color Scheme (-2 to 2 points, average of home and away)
Jersey (-2 to 2 points, average of home and away)
Leg and Footwear (-2 to 2 points, average of home and away)
Overall Effect (-2 to 2 points, average of home and away)
Miscellaneous Historical Factor (+/- any number of points)

Totals will be the sum of the above scores. Winner has the most points, loser the least.

Why do this? Well, why not? Besides, isn't this is the kind of crap for which Algore invented the internet?"


To catch us up to date quickly, I will re-post the Divisions already reviewed last year, and update them later this season. Or you can just click on the links below. This year we will begin with the AFC East in a few days.

NFC North- Bears, Lions, Vikings, Packers
NFC East- Giants, Eagles, Cowboys, Redskins
AFC Central- Bengals, Browns, Ravens, Steelers

This year promises, as all new seasons do, that some new and exciting things will be discovered. Like how many colors can you put on one uniform, or why exactly do sports teams go with orange as a team color?

It should be fun. And for those of you not NFL fans, it gives you a reason to tune in and watch.

As always, comments are welcome from all. Both the regulars and all you lurkers.

Thank you, and blessings.

Dr. Scottius Maximus

(And, please, pray with me that the NFL lawyers don't come after me for posting their logo and photos without permission. Gulp!)

This IS Funny!

I like El Presidente, although I don't agree with a lot of what he has done. And the more people try to tear him apart or make fun of him, the more I like him. It's possible if "they'd" leave him alone I'd like him less, as I do most politicians. I had the same reaction when people were piling on Bill Clinton. Cubs fans recognize it. It's the "Underdog Syndrome."

But let's face it, regardless of your political viewpoint, this actual screen shot from a Sky News broadcast is pretty funny. This is from Snopes Urban legend page.

Moral: Wording and punctuation are important.

Lar-ry, Lar-ry, Lar-ry

Walker's 457 foot home run swing makes my night.

Quite a game last night. A fitting way to end my last Busch Stadium experience. Walker redeemed himself from a night of defensive miscues and two ugly strikeouts with a game winning two out home run in the bottom of the eighth.

More to come later...

This Is Going To Sound Terribly Shallow...

In watching last night's Cardinals broadcast, I noticed something I hadn't before. Either Joe Buck has Elaine Benes' "giant freak head" or Al Hrabosky has a head the size of a cue ball and we just didn't notice it 'til he got his hair cut short.


Or I suppose it could have just been the perspective of the camera, in which case the director should lose a night's pay.

Joe took down the stadium countdown number last night, taking off the 14 to reveal the 13. I'm not sure of the significance of this. I mean Joe and the numbers 14 or 13. Perhaps someone could enlighten me.

I will be there Friday night. I wonder who it's going to be that night. The 11 will give way to a 10. Should be fun to see.

SNES- The Best?

Those of us in our 40s remember Pong, Atari, and Intellivision as the pioneer game consoles. In the early 80s, I remember thinking how cool Intellivision was. I had about 30 games in college. The baseball game was, in my opinion, the best. You could control any of 9 players in the field. And you could put "English" on the ball when pitching to make it break at the last minute. The football game had 4 players per team on the field at a time. At the time, it was the best we had, but in retrospect, the graphics were pretty awful. Basically they consisted of colored stick figures to represent people or objects. But since we didn't know any better, it was cool.

The Nintendo franchise changed all that. It was the next step up, the second generation of games. Mario Bros. put the older games to shame with what looked like cartoon animation instead of stick figures. It was now possible for role playing games like The Legend of Zelda, which I believe was the first game to provide an overhead perspective.

The zenith of the second generation of game consoles was, of course, the Super Nintedo system, or SNES. Gizmodo brought back memories by linking to an article that makes the case that SNES was the best gaming console of all time.

On the basis of the game, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, I would agree. In my opinion, this was the best video game ever produced.



I think the reason I prefer the older versions of games is that the new games are too reliant on graphics. A Link to the Past relied on intriguing puzzles as well as some action for its entertainment. Even in the sports games, like the Madden franchise, you had to use your head more than you had to use your fingers.

In these "modern" days, the winner of a game is more likely to be better at manipulating the keypad than in outwitting his opponent. At least that's my theory as to why my son consistently kicks my behind on the PS3! I just don't know what have of the buttons and button combos are for. Which is my fault, I know.

But, (sigh), I long for the days of the 2 button keypad.

Conquest Of The Planet Of The Ex-Cardinals

Poised to break box office records, here is the fourth installment of my creation:

Starring:

Tony Womack, Yankees
G- 100, AB- 325, R- 46, H- 80, 2B- 8, 3B- 1, HR- 0, RBI- 15, TB- 90, BB- 12, SO- 49, SB- 26, CS- 5, OBP- .274, SLG- .277, AVG- .246, OPS- .551


Edgar Renteria, Red Sox
G- 126, AB- 514, R- 83, H- 147, 2B- 30, 3B- 3, HR- 7, RBI- 56, TB- 204, BB- 47, SO- 81, SB-9, CS- 4, OBP- .347, SLG- .397, AVG- .286, OPS- .744


Woody Williams, Padres
W- 6, L- 11, ERA- 5.01, G-22, GS- 22, CG- 0, SHO- 0, SV- 0, SVO- 0, IP- 129.1, H- 141, R- 77 ER- 72, HR- 21, BB- 39, SO- 86


Steve Kline, Orioles
W- 2, L- 4, ERA- 4.37, G- 59, GS- 0, CG- 0, SHO- 0, SV- 0, SVO- 3, IP- 55.2, H- 54, R- 31, ER-27, HR- 11, BB- 28, SO- 33


Mike Matheny, Giants
G- 108, AB- 362, R- 39, H- 91, 2B- 30, 3B- 0, HR- 11, RBI- 49, TB- 154, BB- 25, SO- 68, SB- 0, CS- 2, OBP- .307, SLG- .425, AVG- .251, OPS- .732


Danny Haren, A's
W- 12, L- 10, ERA- 3.86, G- 29, GS- 29, CG- 3, SHO- 0, SV- 0, SVO- 0, IP- 186.2, H- 183, R- 91, ER- 80, HR- 23, BB- 48, SO- 137


Kiko Calero, A's
W- 4, L- 1, ERA- 3.45, G- 45, GS- 0, CG- 0, SHO- 0, SV- 1, SVO- 2, IP- 44.1, H- 41, R- 17, ER- 17, HR-5, BB- 12, SO- 40


Marlon Anderson, Mets
G- 101, AB- 194, R- 23, H- 51, 2B- 8, 3B- 0, HR- 3, RBI- 13, TB- 68, BB-16, SO- 32, SB- 6, CS- 1, OBP- .319, SLG- .351, AVG- .263, OPS- .670

From high atop my critic's chair, here's my review of the "plot" of our latest episode:
1. I was all set to give Yadi the catching knod over Matheny, but I realized he has hardly played the past month due to injury. And we had to be subjected to Mahoney. (A thumbs down for the Cardinals here).
2. I am getting over Marlon Anderson. He didn't have a good month. (A thumbs up for the Cardinals).
3. Haren and Calero vs. Mulder is still a tough call at this point in the season. But I have to go with having two good pitchers instead of just one. Ultimately Mulder may win out on the basis of his left-handedness in the post-season. We'll see. Still, I just hope we haven't ended up getting "Bartoned". (Thumbs down for the Cards).
4. I still love the great "Albert" Eckstein, and I'm still glad Edgar Renteria is gone. Renteria is perceived to have had a down year, yet his numbers are very close to his career averages. And nine stolen bases? Who would have thought Albert Pujols would have more? I'm going to say it again: Edgar is WAY overpaid. (Thumbs up for the Cards).
5. Tony Womack will have to go all Bizarro Womack and get a hit in his next 75 at bats for me to change my mind that the Cardinals did well not to re-sign him. His OBP is anemic, and his SO rate is horrible. (Thumbs up for the Cards).
6. Woody Williams has had a bad month. He gave up seven home runs. Yikes! He continues to have overall worse numbers than even Jason Marquis, although it's pretty close. Jocketty is a genius and should win executive of the year. (Thumbs up for the Cards).
7. Steve Kline- Still no saves and 3 more home runs given up. (Thumbs up for the Cards).

So, it looks like five thumbs up and two thumbs down for this film, a net gain of three thumbs.

From the Cardinals standpoint, this is by far our best installment in the franchise.

Well, how will it all end? In another month we'll be wrapping this all up. The series will reach its exicting conclusion, Battle For The Planet Of The Ex-Cardinals. I'm sure the excitement will keep people from sleeping for days.

Until next time, I'll see you...at the movies.

Here Is Something Funny

As most of you know by now, I love the Planet of the Apes movies. In "researching" my next post, I ran across this website dealing with the movies. There are essays about the movies here.

One of the essays deals with "Illogical Plot Elements."

Illogical plot elements? For Planet of the Apes? Are you kidding me? Say it ain't so! You mean there is something illogical about the plots to these movies? Thank God there is an essay to set the record straight.

The plot of the WHOLE series is illogical! And yet the writer leaves out the most important illogical plot element- that astronauts would travel through time and crash land on a futuristic earth ruled by intelligent apes with human slaves! This is where I would start if I were writing an essay on illogical plot elements.

Note to my fellow Planet of the Apes fans- let's all take a deep breath and relax. Remember our mantra...IT IS ONLY A MOVIE. Otherwise we'll end up with Triumph The Insult Comic Dog coming after us, like these poor folks.

I'll Never Be Able To Listen To This Song The Same Way Again

This morning on my local oldies station, "Bad Moon Rising" by CCR came on. It spooked me quite frankly, in the wake of Katrina. The lyrics give me a chill.

"I see the bad moon arising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see earthquakes and lightnin’.
I see bad times today.

Chorus:Don’t go around tonight,
Well, it’s bound to take your life,
There’s a bad moon on the rise.

I hear hurricanes ablowing.
I know the end is coming soon.
I fear rivers over flowing.
I hear the voice of rage and ruin.

Chorus
All right!

Hope you got your things together.
Hope you are quite prepared to die.
Looks like we’re in for nasty weather.
One eye is taken for an eye.

Chorus
Chorus."

Well, They Have Arrived

There is a certain cold reality about receiving tickets in the mail. Particularly when you know you are doing something for the very last time.

Tickets to next Friday night's game against the Mets. My last visit to good ol' Busch Stadium. Upper deck, section 348. Shouldn't be too bad, just to the first base side of home plate.

I plan on taking lots of pictures, God willing, and will try to post them. If everything goes according to plan (which is a ridiculous thing to say because what ever goes according to plan?), we will spend the day taking a tour of the stadium, visiting the baseball museum, and of course, eating at Mike Shannon's Steaks and Seafood.

But I know I will miss this place:

Here's My UFO List

The Official Alien Board of Directors.

I wish I could find a link, but I heard this on the radio. I think Paul Harvey, but I may be wrong.

Nelson Mandela was recently voted, by those who believe in aliens and UFOs, as the one person to represent Earth at an interplanetary summit. That's right, when contact is made, they think he would best represent the human race.

First of all, we can't send just one man. No wait, a minute. Let me start over.

First of all, I don't believe in UFOs or aliens. But if I did, then I'd say, first of all, we can't send just one man. We'd have to send a committe. Maybe a committee of 10. But Mandela wouldn't be on my list.

Here's who I think should represent Earth.


1. Space Ghost- Dude already has intergalactic experience.

2. Jimmie "JJ" Walker- We'll surely give those aliens a fright, if we just send "Kid Dyn-O-Mite!"

3. Cubs manager Dusty Baker- He'll be looking for a job soon, and he can explain his theory of how blacks can tolerate and play in the Earth's heat better than whites.

4. Terrrell Owens- It'll get him out of our hair and into theirs.

5. George Foreman- He needs a new market for his famous grilling machine, because everyone on earth now has one.

6. Ozzy Osbourne- If you've heard his slurred speech, you know he can already speak "alien". So let him go and interpret. Plus, I'd just like to see the looks on the alien's faces.

7. Dan Patrick- He could bring the aliens up to date on our pennant races and football season.

8. Anna Nicole Smith- Just 'cause we need a representative of the average American woman. What???!!!

9. Kramer- I just miss seeing this guy. He was my favorite Seinfeld character. I'm sure his antics would be something to see, and he could teach aliens about "apartment levels" and "rubber bladders full of oil."

10. That Sheehan lady- It's the only thing that'll get her out of Crawford. And one hour around this broad and the aliens will likely leave our galaxy and never come back.

I think this is quite a group, don't you?

I thought about including John Madden, but that might delay the release of Madden 2007. So he can be an alternate. Along with Michael Waltrip. That cat is a gas, man!

Madden and Waltrip.


Anybody got any other suggestions?

What Did He Know, And When Did He Know It?

Remember that question from the media after 9/11? That somehow it was George Bush's fault that 9/11 happened?

I predict something similar will eventually come from the media regarding Hurricane Katrina.

It's all Bush's fault, you know.

Maybe some mother who lost a son in the storm will call Bush the world's biggest terrorist for not ensuring everyone got out of New Orleans. Even though they might have "voluntarily" stayed when they had the chance to get out. Sound familiar?

It's Bush's fault. It's always his fault.

Other things that are George Bush's fault:
- The 2004 Cardinals World Series debacle.
- The cancellation of the last Star Trek series from television this year.
- Brad and Jen's divorce.
- Desperate Housewives.
- The death of Green Acres star Eddie Albert of pneumonia at age 99.
- Adding Strawberry to Mike and Ike Assorted Fruits.
- This classic sports cast.
- Carl Lewis singing the National Anthem.
- Howard Dean's Scream Speech.

Remember the mantra, "It's Bush's Fault." 'Cause I think we'll start hearing it again soon.

Red Green- The Flying Ghost

These people are not the same.

God bless my wife.

Playing the immortal Trivial Pursuit on Saturday night, my son was asked the question, "What football player was known as 'The Galloping Ghost'?" To which my son answered correctly, "Red Grange."

Before I had barely congratulated him on a job well done, his mother chimes in, "You mean that guy who has that show that comes on PBS on Saturday night?"

Granted, she is not a football fan. She knows a little baseball, thankfully.

After my son and I finished laughing, we tried to explain to her that, no, Red Grange was a running back who played for the University of Illinois and the Chicago Bears in the 1920s and basically put the NFL on the national scene. He is quite famous, actually, or so we thought.

She was, of course, thinking of Red Green, the dude with the PBS "comedy" show.

But I could see how she could get the two mixed up.

Until yesterday. The subject came up again and she referred to Mr. Grange as the "Flying Ghost". I don't know who she got him mixed up with this time.

I think I need her to go here and read up on Mr. Grange.

The Latest Sklar Channel Offering I Saw

Randy and Jason (or is it Jason and Randy) Sklar.

Do you have the Sklar Channel? Actually, there isn't really a Sklar Channel. But that's what we call ESPN Classic at our house.

We love the Sklars at our house. Actually, the males love the Sklars. My wife cannot stand them, or, more accurately, their humor. It's a chick thing, I know. And the fact they are die-hard Cardinals fans makes my son and I like them even more.

Last night, before "Cheap Seats Without Ron Parker", starring the Mighty Sklars, was a program called "Top 5 Reasons You Can't Blame...". "Top 5" is a show that takes the prevailing opinion regarding an historical sports moment and tries to debunk it. In the past they have had shows like "Top 5 Reasons You Can't Blame Steve Bartman For The Cubs 2003 Playoff Collapse."

Last night's episode was called "Top 5 Reasons You Can't Blame Umpire Don Denkinger For The Cardinals Losing The 1985 World Series". Well, the reasons were all pretty lame, because, as we all know, you actually can blame him.

I can't believe I actually wrote the name of former AL umpire Don Denkinger. He is anathema to Cardinals fans.

It was a little hard to relive those times. But I remember sitting down that Saturday evening with my soon to be wife on my parent's couch to watch the bottom of the ninth of game six. I was relaxed and feeling on top of the world. The Cards were about to win their second WS title in 4 years. But the man known as DD forever changed the course of Cardinal history when he called KC leadoff hitter Jorge Orta safe at first base on a ground ball play to the right side. Everyone in the world who was watching the play except the one guy who counts knew Orta was out and that it really wasn't even close.

I know it wasn't intentional. But darn. If you are not a Cardinals fan, just try to imagine the sense of injustice you'd feel if this happened to your beloved team when they were on the verge of a title.

1985 was about the funnest (?) baseball year I can remember outside of 2004. Just like 2004, the Cardinals weren't picked to go anywhere but last place, while the Cubs had just won the division the previous year. Whitey Herzog was supposed to be the first manager fired. The Cardinals ended up winning the pennant and Herzog won Manager Of The Year.

The Cardinals were the best team in baseball that year. Bob Costas has called that 1985 team the most exciting team he has ever watched play. Because of the speed of that team. The Cardinals fought, scratched, stole, ran the bases, and pitched their way to a pennant. It was electrifying when the Cardinals got on base, particularly Vince Coleman, Willie McGee, and Ozzie Smith. And Jack Clark and Tommy Herr drove them in. It was like a merry-go-round on the basepaths that year.

Facts are facts. If Denkinger gets that call right, the Cardinals need only two more outs and they win that game and the World Series. No doubt about it. They had not blown a single lead all year long that they had going in to the ninth.

None of the stuff that happened after that would have happened if it weren't for the bad call.

Here are the top 5 reasons given by ESPN Classic:

5. Vince Coleman got his leg "ate" by the tarp machine making him miss the World Series-
This definitely played a factor...in the Cardinals not sweeping the series. It has nothing to do with the fact the Cardinals were shafted.

4. Tommy Lasorda pitching to Jack Clark in the NLCS game six with first base open-
Clark's HR was undoubtedly one of the most exciting moments in Cardinals history. I guess the point this "reason" is trying to make is that the Cardinals made it to the World Series because of this decision. That's just flat out wrong. Even if Lasorda walks Clark, Van Slyke or Pendleton could have driven in the tying or winning runs. And even if they didn't, there was still a game seven to play if the Cards lost. So this reason is pointless.

3. The Cardinals poor offensive showing-
Sure the Cardinals offense was suffering due to the absence of Coleman. But again, this is pointless. Because the Cardinals still had a 3-2 Series lead, and were leading 1-0 in the bottom of the ninth of game 6, despite the bad offense.

2. The Cardinals defensive meltdown the rest of the 9th inning of Game 6-
Again, none of the things that happened the rest of that inning happen if Denkinger makes that call correctly. So this is not a good argument.

1. The Cardinals Game 7 nervous breakdown-
Again, there is no Game 7 if Game 6 ends the way it should have until Denkinger's interference.

But let's say for a moment that Denkinger gets the call right, but the Royals rally and win Game 6 anyway. It would have been upsetting, yes, but that's the kind of loss you can rebound from. You could have just given credit to the Royals for an excellent comeback, and then gotten yourself ready for Game 7. Instead, everyone felt they had been denied, not on the field, but on the basis of this one call. And so it ate away at everyone, including the manager. I think they did give up. I think there was a collective, what's the use? feeling on the club, because it just wasn't going to go their way in spite of how well they played.

Having you opponents outplay you on the field is something you can live with. Having a title ripped from you by something beyond your control isn't.

And the Cardinals did not show up for Game 7.

Just remember, those of you who disagree, if this happened to your team, you'd agree with me.

And with that I am forever putting this issue to rest. It's time to get over it. I shall not speak of it again, God willing.

I Think I'll Just Rename This Blog "Shannonus Maximus"

Yes, it's time for yet another Mike Shannon post.

Here is a commercial Mike did many years ago, probably in the early '80s. I don't think it is the '70s due to the style of dress. As will be obvious by viewing this, Mike is not the same when he has to follow a script. He is only the "real" Mike when he is spontaneous. Thanks to Tintopia for providing this. I'm sure it hasn't been seen in years. Just click on the link. You'll need Quicktime to view.

And I've picked up a few more Mike Shannon quotes. The authenticity of these is not guaranteed, some may be apocryphal:
"I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous"- although this may not be an original saying of Mike Shannon, it definitely fits as something he would say.

With thanks to the Cardinals Clubhouse:
"He tried to sneak that fastball by Rolen. That's like trying to sneak the sun past the rooster."
"Look at how still Albert holds the bat, its so still you could rest a quarter up on the top of it. Wait wait, you would only want to put a dime or a nickel up there, you wouldnt want to waste a quarter."
"Yeah back in the minors you would travel all over the place. you would get to sample all the different foods from each region of the country, but there was never anything better than the thin crust pizza that they served here in st. louis. And i tell you wayne, nothing washed that down better than a cold cool frosty budweiser."
"You couldn't play this game without tongue depressors and tape. It just couldn't happen."
"Everything's official except for the goodies like the Bud Light."
In reference to how high off the field level the PNC Park broadcast booths are: "Way, way, way down on the field, a bunch of little ants come runnng on."
On Randall Simon: "Even if he didn't have a bat in his hands, he'd take a swing."
When the Cards were losing big in the ninth inning and had a runner who reached second on defensive indifference: "Pitcher and catcher talk it over. He says, 'Look, we're up by six. If he wants to steal third, let him. If he wants to steal home, let him. If he wants to steal from the cookie jar, he can have that, too.'"
When a leadoff batter takes a big swing in the ninth when his team needs baserunners: "He's trying to hit a three-run homer with the bases empty. It's never happened, but it could one of these days. You never know in this world of baseball."

From Quotes - S (Baseball World):
"There's a full moon over Busch Stadium tonight. We hope there's a full moon where you are, too."
"There's a woman protecting herself from the sun with a carousel."
"Whenever I think of Milwaukee, I think of the American League. Hmm, Boston, Atlanta, weren't they the Browns, too?"
"Warming up for the Brewers is that lefthander they got from the Mets, Bill Pulitzer."

From Baseball Almanac:
"Don Drysdale would consider an intentional walk a waste of three pitches. If he wants to put you on base, he can hit you with one pitch."