

Hat tip to Viva El Birdos for these photos.
Theismann 55-41 | Salisbury 69-33 | Hoge 62-40 | Jaworski 59-43 | Schlereth 64-38 | Allen 53-49 | Mortensen 62-40 | Golic 61-41 |
It seems he has a new fragrance to peddle. And nothing says "delicious aroma" like Marilyn Manson. I mean, who hasn't smelled a freshly cut lawn, or a bed of roses, or the atmosphere after a steady rain, or a pine tree, and thought to themselves, "I bet Marilyn Manson smells this good."
Excellent choice, perfume-makers. I'm sure "L'Essence of Bat Hormone" smells wonderful for a night on the town. I'll bet "Parfum de Lavender Corpse" makes the ladies swoon.
Just look at him. Looking at his picture, one cannot help but get the thought, "I want to smell like that guy."
But, they've forgotten more deserving people. I'd much rather see the following get their own fragrance before Mr. Marilyn.
Theismann 46-37 | Salisbury 60-29 | Hoge 56-33 | Jaworski 51-38 | Schlereth 54-34 | Allen 46-43 | Mortensen 54-35 | Golic 51-38 |
You Passed 8th Grade Math |
Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct! |
Final thoughts:
- Thank you Larry Walker for an exciting 14 months. I wish his body would heal like a 20 year old's would. But being 42, I know what that's like. And he hung in there this year despite his pain, and he ended my last visit to Busch Stadium with a happy memory. Enjoy your retirement, Larry.
- Happy Trails to Reggie Sanders. And thanks for a magical two seasons. My biggest fear is that Walt Jocketty will not re-sign him, and his vagabond reputation will continue. Which is a shame, because the city of St. Louis is willing to be his home.
- Good bye Matt Morris. I'm sure that with starting pitching in short supply this free-agent season, someone will throw outrageous money at his beard and take a chance on him. The Cardinals know better. He's good, but not great. But thanks for a lot of exciting times.
- Welcome back, Scott Rolen, in 2006. We sure missed you the past 5 months. Actually, the past year.
- Albert Pujols is the best player in baseball. There is no longer an argument to be made.
- Taking a chance on Mark Mulder with last December's trade was a good gamble, but he is not a big game pitcher. He proved that again last night. And listening to Tony LaRussa speak after last night's game makes me think he is definitely in the doghouse. Our manager was not happy with his execution or his mental lapses. However, his status with the club is secure, I think, so that they should pick up his option for next year.
- Success sometimes breeds contentment. This club, after being SWEPT out of the 2004 World Series, did not play like it had something to prove. It played like it had nothing to prove. I know, injuries, injuries, injuries. But there was just a seeming lack of the enthusiasm and joy for baseball that I definitely saw on the 2004 team. Next year will hopefully end differently.
- Jason Marquis, by his performance on the field, proved Tony LaRussa correct in not putting him in the post-season starting rotation. Which makes Marquis' complaining about it seem ridiculous now. I think he's gone in a trade this winter.
- I think the starting pitching will be okay, but Jocketty's number one priority has got to be a more reliable bullpen. The lineup will be fine with Rolen, Eckstein, Edmonds, Molina, and that one guy...Poojoles I think is his name. Just plug in either Sanders or another free agent to play right, sign Grudzielanek, and let J. Rod or So, or another prospect duke it out for left. It worked in 2004 before Walker arrived. And then we can see what we have come July or August, with enough financial room to make a move if needed.
- Good-bye Julian Tavarez, another free agent. He'll be plucked by someone wanting to pay too much money for a steady but not spectacular set-up man. I just wish he could have worn the Zorro mask at least once.
- Good-bye Abraham Nunez, super-sub. He'll also be picked up by someone throwing money around this winter, based strictly on this year's performance. Big mistake.
- I think Grudzielanek, another free agent, will be back. Okay, let me rephrase, this. I hope he'll be back. Why? Too good of a player, and a LaRussa type player.
- The wrecking ball countdown begins. For some final, tear-inducing photos of Busch Stadium's final moments, check out the gallery at the Cardinals official website.
Mike Shannon pronounced in the 5th, or maybe 6th, inning of Monday night's game that the Cardinals will be heading back to play game six at Busch on Wednesday. He even announced the pregame show will begin at 6:51 p.m. Hence, during his call of Albert's home run, he can be heard yelling "What did I tell you folks!".
This moment in time has all the makings of the single greatest moment in Cardinals history. Albert at the plate, Albert winning the game almost single handedly in the ninth inning (both at the plate and in the field), and Mike Shannon at the mike. More was at stake than with Jack Clark's, Ozzie Smith's, or Mark McGwire's homers.
But only if it is validated with the pennant.
And Busch lives for at least one more game. Now, no matter what happens, we can say good-bye to the stadium properly, because we will know when we have seen that last inning played.
Please pardon me for my silence. I'll just smile for now.
Theismann 36-33 | Salisbury 48-26 | Hoge 46-28 | Jaworski 41-33 | Schlereth 43-31 | Allen 39-35 | Mortensen 42-32 | Golic 40-34 |
There was absolutely no excuse for my ST segments and T waves to be doing this last night:
I blame Larussa for my acute myocardial infarction. There was no reason I know of to bring in Isringhausen in the ninth inning with a 3 run lead. Except to unhinge any plaques in my coronary arteries. Anyone who thinks a 3 run lead is safe in this guy's hands has not watched Cardinals baseball this year.
Carpenter had sailed through the eighth, so why risk bringing in the Cardinals' human blowtorch?
Note to Cardinals medical staff:
Whatever you are feeding Reggie Sanders, how about giving Isringhausen a taste?
I guess I should just be happy the Cardinals "escaped" with a 5-2 win. Let's hope tonight is a blow out victory for us. Otherwise I'll be forced to leave my room to get to the nearest intensive care unit.
they lost to the dodgers in six games. they have never returned to the world series.
i mean, where are the networks on this one? this thing has taken on biblical proportions -- a curse rooted not in the whimsy of some imaginary capricious god but rather in the commonplace sins of earthly humans: the wrongdoings of 1919. they have gone unredeemed all these years, a stain on the soul of the franchise. we heard so much last fall about the beantown geezers who could finally die happy, it took 85 years but they finally saw the sox win one. consider then the suffering of south-side grandfathers, who've have spent their lives rooting under a cloud much darker and more disturbing than the ridiculous "curse of the babe." from webster's 10th:
which may help explain why this plotline doesn't captivate us: it's too scary, not enough like a fairy tale. and so it gets swept under the rug, out of sight, where we like to hide all true sin . . . . . or maybe it's just that these sox have never had a ted williams, a jim rice, a wade boggs to put an epic face on their tale, nor a roger angell or peter gammons to elevate it from folklore to literature. but it's a pretty goddamn good story. under other circumstances, i would probably be rooting for these accursed to earn their redemption at long last, to remove the guilty stain and make those sox white again.
but if they play the cardinals? suffer on, ye wretched sinners. hellfire's too goodfer ye. . . . ."
The second one is of the fans cheering Peavy on. They're literally saying "Peavy, Fighting!" It is an actual phrase in Korean, it means do your best. Other fans are telling him to suck it up and do well. Peavy is saying "you... you." He's basically shaking his head at the fans. The Cards are just amused."
The Jets nickname is cool. I've always liked the name "Jets". But why nickname your team "Jets" when nothing about this uniform has anything to do with jets?
Helmet design:
I love the basic white on the helmet. I just realized something. At one time, in the early 1970s, this entire division (AFC East) wore white helmets. Then the Jets were the first in the division to go away from it. And I'm glad they changed back to this traditional helmet a few years ago. Because I like it better than the solid green metallic helmet they used to have.
I like the black cage. The stripes have been kept minimal. And I think I've reached the conclusion that on a white helmet, stripes are okay. They make the helmet less bland. The decal is a little boring, but it is the traditional look, so I cannot find fault with them sticking with it.
Score: +1
Color scheme:
This is really simple. White, green, and black. Not pretty, not spectacular, but an attractive color of green was picked. Not that neon semi-metallic Eagles color of green, which stops just short of being teal. No, this is a man's green. But it is at this point where I have to ask the question again, what do these colors have to do with jets? Maybe they should rename them the New Jersey ('cause they play in NJ) Plants.
GO PLANTS!
Score: +1
Jersey:
The basic home choice has all the elements I like: solid green color, simple white numbers, a stripe on the shoulder, and no shoulder pad number placements.
The basic away version is just the reverse of the home version. I love it. Looks like it's fit for playing football at the North Pole. It's so white, there's something polar about it.
Score: +1
Leg wear:
I like the white with either one stripe or two. And I love the black shoes on all versions. There is some directional clashivity on the away uniforms white socks with horizontal stripe vs. the pants vertical stripe.
But those green things of the alternative uniform are gross. They remind me of a pair of green jeans I had when I was an pre-teen. Just weird looking.
Score:
Home +1
Away 0
Alternate -1
Average of 0.
Overall effect:
The classic home uniform matches in perfect simplicity from helmet to the black shoes. The classic away uniform fulfills in the same way. And that green thing is fit for a monster. But no +2s will be given, because, after all, shouldn't they have to put a jet or something on this baby? That being said, nice job, Plants, errrrrrr...Jets.
Score:
Home +1
Away +1
Alternate -1
Average of +0.3.
Historic factor:
For having the sense to ditch the more modern look and go retro, complete with black shoes and all, I give them a bonus + 1 point.
Summary:
HD: +1
CS: +1
J: +1
LW: 0
OE: +0.3
HF: +1
TOTAL JETS SCORE: +4.3.
That's a wrap for the AFC East.
The NFC South is up next.
So until then, as The Hulkster might say, "Remember kids, take your vitamins, say your prayers, and stay in school. And don't do drugs, or you'll end up wearing the modern day Bills uniform."